My So-Called Life
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"This life has been a test. Had it been an actual life, it would have come with actual
instructions on where to go and what to do."
My So-Called Life
"What I, like, dread is when people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area. You have to develop this,
like, combination you on the spot."
Angela from My So-Called Life
"It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something.
For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you
think about it, I mean, how do you know it's even you? And, I mean, this
whole thing with yearbook -- it's like, everybody's in this big hurry to
make this book, to supposedly remember what happened. Because if you
made a book of what really happened, it'd be a really upsetting book."
Angela, to Ms. Mayhew
"What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere, like your life just figured out how to get good."
Angela from My So-Called Life
"If only there was some button that I could just push to force me to
stop talking."
Angela
"Lately, I can't even look at my mother without wanting to stab her
repeatedly."
Angela
"My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, 'How was that
drive-by shooting?' You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get
out alive."
Angela
"There's something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself."
Angela
"School is a battlefield for your heart. So when Rayanne Graff told
me my hair was holding me back, I had to listen. 'Cause she wasn't
just talking about my hair. She was talking about my life."
Angela
"Cafeteria is the embarrassment capital of the world. It's like a prison
movie."
Angela
"Everybody's an act. Including you."
Angela, to Brian
"People throwing themselves at people is, like, _the_ basis
of civilization."
Rayanne, to Angela
"If you like analyze why certain people end up with certain other people
it'll make you wanna KILL yourself."
Brian
"I bet people can actually die of embarrassment. I bet it's been
medically proven."
Angela, to Rayanne
"It's such a lie that you should do what's in your heart. If we all did what was in our hearts, the world would come to a halt."
Angela, on Jordan
"It's weird how something has to happen sometimes to see how you actually
feel about someone."
Angela
"Dear Angela,
I know in the past I've caused you pain, and I'm sorry. And I'll
always be sorry til the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding, because
I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't
you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the
whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you wanna hate
me, go ahead. If you wanna burn this letter, do it. You could burn the
whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell. I'd go. If you wanted
me to. And I'd send you a letter from there.
Sincerely,"
Jordan Catalano
"When you're not sure you trust a person any more, say a person you
really trusted, say your father, you start wishing they'd do something,
like, really wrong, just so you can be right about them."
Angela
""Hatred can become like food. It gives you this energy. You can, like, live
off it."
Angela
"Always work harder in the other person's close-ups than you do in you own."
Meryl Streep
"The best actors know that 'I love you' is really a question."
Meryl Streep
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read."
Frank Zappa
"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."
Timothy Leary
"In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for
*anything* until about 1926 was stupid."
Dave Barry
"The only reason your company pays you is because you'd rather be doing something else."
S. Adams (Dilbert)
"The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the
place where they can do the least damage - management."
Scott Adams
"I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style
and proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity."
S. Adams
"When teaching someone a lesson, it is vitally important that other
people are present so they learn by example."
S. Adams
"We all love to stab ourselves with knife sharp recollection, don't we?"
Sandra Bernhard
"Pay attention. I am beautiful."
Sanrda Bernhard
"If unwanted sexual advances were an excuse to murder people, there wouldn't be a straight man left alive in America."
Syndicated columnist Dan Savage on ABC's Politically Incorrect, Oct. 28.
"The reward for conformity is everyone likes you but yourself."
Rita Mae Brown
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."
Groucho Marx
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
Shirley Temple
"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
Jodie Foster
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
Maya Angelou
"Instant gratification takes too long."
Carrie Fisher
"Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
Gore Vidal
"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities."
Frank Lloyd Wright
"I think the world is run by C students."
Al McGuire
"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out."
Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
"From the age of six, I have known that I was sexy. And let me tell you it has been hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."
Bette Davis
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is."
Ellen DeGeneres
"I've made so many movies playing a hooker that they don't pay me in the regular way anymore. They leave it on the dresser."
Shirley MacLaine
"I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level."
Dana Carvey
"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
Zig Ziglar
"It is fun being in the same decade with you."
Franklin D. Roosevelt, in a letter to Winston Churchill
"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Erica Jong
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?. I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God . . . I could be eating a slow learner."
Lynda Montgomery
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
August Strindberg
"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
Faith Whittlesey
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
Katharine Hepburn
"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."
Mae West
"The truth comes at 24 frames per second, and every cut is a lie."
Jean-Luc Godard
"Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough."
from the film Chinatown
"The most unfair thing about
life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It
takes up a lot of your time. What do you get
at the end of it?
A Death.
What's that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should
die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in
an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too
young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy
your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you
get ready for high school. You go to grade school,
you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go
back into the womb, spend your last nine months
floating. . . and you finish off as an orgasm."
George Carlin
Angelina Quotes 2000
On Diversity: I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny. Which is a problem when I'm walking down the street.
On choosing roles: I always play women I would date.
On fate: You're young, you're crazy, you're in bed, you've got knives. So shit happens.
"You've got a death wish. That's so selfish. I have one too, but I direct it toward others."
Lucia from The Opposite of Sex
"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club."
The Breakfast Club
"Carol: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you---
Melvin: It's not true. Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times. Noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good."
As Good as it Gets
"If you have to tell people you are important, you're not."
M. Thatcher
"There's some folks, that, if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.'"
Louis Armstrong
"I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."
Nancy Regan
"To start: Press any key. Where�s the anykey? I see �esc,� �ctrl,� and �pigup.� There
doesn�t seem to be any anykey. Wooh. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I�ll
order a tab.(Computer starts) Woop, no time for that now, the computer�s starting!"
Homer, "The Simpson's"
"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells...Now let�s all go
back to that building thingy...where our beds and TV...is."
Homer, "The Simpson's"
Mr.Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer:Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth, and
when they bark they shoot bees at you?
"People who read tabloids deserve to be lied to."
Jerry Seinfeld
| "I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I
gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?" Jerry, in "The Chinese Restaurant" |
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"Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. You
can serve dinner on my head." Elaine, in "The Dinner Party" |
"Well, I believe in the soul... the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high
fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe
Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing
Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening
your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep,
soft, wet kisses that last three days. [pause] Goodnight
Crash Davis played by Kevin Costner in Bull Durham
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again."
Elizabeth Taylor
President Josiah Bartlet: You're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?
Dr. Laura-type character: Yes, Sir.
Bartlet: ...Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?
Jacobs: A Ph.D.
Bartlet: A Ph.D.
Jacobs: Yes, Sir.
Bartlet: Psychology?
Jacobs: No, Sir.
Bartlet: Theology?
Jacobs: No.
Bartlet: Social work?
Jacobs: I have a Ph.D. in English literature.
Bartlet: I'm asking 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name Dr. Jacobs on your show, and I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology or health care.
Jacobs: I don't believe they are confused, no, Sir.
Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President, the Bible does.
Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus. Jacobs: 18:22. Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it OK to call the police? Here's one that's really important 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side-by-side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
Exchange between President Bartlet and a character clearly meant to be Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Oct. 18 on NBC-TV's The West Wing.
"Superhero" by Ani Difranco
sleepwalking through the all-nite drugstore
baptized in flourescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
yeah, art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
i am worse than everybody else
"I am thirty two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might wanna turn your head
'cause some day you might find you are starving
and eating all of the words that you said."
Ani DiFranco, "Thirty-Two Flavours"
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"They misunderestimated me."
-Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000 |
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal
program."
-St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000
"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said,
you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing
what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work."
-Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would
rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st
century. "
-On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of
babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."
-Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun."
"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate
children."
-Second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
-Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
""Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency.
And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win.
And that's where I'm coming from."
-Detroit, Sept. 7, 2000
"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."
-Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000
"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."
-Ibid
"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
-U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 20"This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases."--Seattle Post-Intelligencer, June 23, 2000
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
--Reuters, May 5, 2000
"Reading is the basics for all learning."-Announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston,
- Va., March 28, 2000
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
-New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000
"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join
this campaign."
-Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of
Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000
"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did,
but I don't remember."
-On discussions of the Vietnam War when he was an
undergraduate at Yale, Washington Post,
July 27, 1999
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