friday - june thirty, two thousand - 9:51am
funny how when i need to write in this thing the most is when i don't want anything to do with it. i figured i'd better write an entry today though, because i'm not going to touch it again until wednesday of next week. i don't even have the internet at home anymore. if i have a lot of time i might do one at paul's, but don't count on it.
i've been in a bad way lately.... i called in sick to work yesterday. i wasn't really sick - at least not physically. i just needed a break from this place, and the people who work here. the arrogance was getting to me. that's a real downfall to working in this field.... the egos are everywhere.... it gets old, FAST! i thought i had learned to block it out pretty well - but when the insults are directed at me it's harder. more than anything in the world, i just want to be the best at SOMETHING - i want someone to pay me a genuine compliment about my work or my intellect or something other than my looks or my outfit. it's nice to receive compliments on those things, but after awhile of hearing nothing else, it starts to feel awfully shallow. (that reminds me - i did receive a compliment on my writing style the other day in my guestbook - thanks frantic - you have impeccable timing).
another annoying thing is how everyone always has to trying to look at what i'm doing on my screen while i'm writing this....i always have to hide my browser really quick as soon as someone walks up...(funny, it happened again as i was writing that sentence). they'll come over and say 'do you have any time today?' and then they'll lean over to look at what i'm doing as if to see if what i'm doing is important enough for me to take time away from them for.
anyway - i'm going to go be sulky and moody on my own time - i'm sure you all don't care to listen to this sniveling - don't say i didn't warn you!
