Hello once again my cronies! Before I go into the details of the weekend past, I want to kick things off with some good old conspiracy talk. What I want to know is this - why the fuck is everyone lining up to donate blood in the U.S.? It's not like the people in the planes or the WTC need the blood, since they are all dead. There was MORE than enough blood in the banks to take care of the support crews that were wounded
I'll tell you why - it's all a part of the New World Order. The goal is for gene splicing and DNA alteration to create genetic perfection among human beings. Some might say, a super soldier serum creating a bunch of Captain Americas. But, more realistically, remember the movie Twins? Remember how Arnold Schwarzenegger was the result of genetic perfection? That's what the goal is.
Notice how the creme de la creme are lining up to donate blood? >Don't think for one second the DNA of the elite isn't going to be >used to create "perfect" humans because of this.
Imagine what this could do for the U.S. military? Physical freaks of nature with genius minds - or, a super soldier. Anyway, this is the point where some of you roll your eyes and say "whatever". Some of you will will just say "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Some of you will think it's absolutely ludricrous and fell compelled to reply. Some will actually agree. But guess what? This is one time that I am ABSOLUTELY correct. Anyway, on the the happening of the weekend past. My man Ferg coined what was probably the funniest line I've EVER heard in my life. He shows up a Lafford's and says "boys, I've been on such a bender since Tuesday that I can't tell if I'm drunk or sober"
Ferg bought this really small shirt from Le Chateau. It was a woman's size small. He dared me to wear it out to the bar, and I could keep it if I did. So I did. (cuz I REALLY don't give a fuck what people think - the key to aging gracefully is being yourself, not letting others dictate what is right and what is not (since they don't know what's right or wrong for you) and not losing touch with the child inside) Not only that, I decided to get a little crazy and fire on some eye
liner (after all, I AM a product of the 80's and grew up listening to glam rock) cuz again, I REALLY don't give a fuck what people think. Anyway, me and The Ferg began our madness around 12:30. It's funny, cause at one point, Lafford's fridge was full of beer and I asked if we had enough and I was assured we did. Well, we left Lafford's place at around 9-930 and had 12 left.
We figured THAT would be enough to fuel us until we got downtown
Well, we finished those off rather quickly and had to help ourselves to the beer in the fridge (not our beer). We each took 5 or 6 beer (that's the kind of roll we were on) and before you know, it was time to head downtown. (on a side note, Serge, the master of ceremonies, had a HUGE 80's collection, so you KNOW I had Shout At The Devil (Motley Crue for those not in the know) playing). We got dropped off at The Fife and Drum bar.
We got to the door - won't let us in cuz we were "showing signs of "ntoxication". What the fuck kind of politically correct bullshit is that? I would have had more respect for that pansy bitch had he called us drunken fools, or said we were hammered or whatever. Anything but "showing signs of intoxication" So, we are leaving and we see this lady sitting on the lobby couch. She was quite attractive (hot) she looked to be about 30 or so.       
Drunk Conversation Between Murph and A Hooker

Murph - how are ya tonight dear?
Hooker - fine thank you!
Murph - what do you do?
Hooker - oh, a little of this, a little of that!
Murph - why don't ya come partying with us?
Hooker - I'm waiting for someone
Murph - well, you found someone. come one with us, we're fun guys to party with
Hooker - no really, I'm waiting for someone
Murph - come on with us and we'll give ya the old how's your father

Murph obviously didn't know she was hooker..Funny as Fuck
At this point, I was adament we leave the place and continue drinking, since I hadn't consumed any alcohol for the last 25
minutes and was getting antsy, not to mention the fact that that conversation was going south, really, really fast.  So, we head to JJ's and it was too packed, so we went to the Palace. We are in there, boozing it up, and we went upstairs.  I couldn't believe the hotties that were there. Traditionally, the Palace has been known to resemble that muddy pen you find on a farm, complete with the swine, but that night, the honies were out in full effect. So, one of Ferg's friends is a bartender there, and she started pounding us the free drinks. Well, 40+ beers and a few Jagermeisters later and I was ready for some pizza and a quiet environment. Me and Ferg went back to Lafford's, grabbed a beer, fired up a Cigar (thanks Murph) and it was time to crash.  All in all, it was one of the best weekends I've ever had.  No, I didn't get any action - could have Friday, but I tried to trade up, and we ALL know the trade up never works.  Saturday, I was too damn drunk to even put in an effort. Oh well - next month we do it all over again, and THIS time, I will redeem myself. there are many more little stories to tell, but most of them are impersonation stories and they either can't be done justice over an e-mail, or some of you don't know myself or my running mates so they would be lost on you. That was one of those weekends that makes you glad to be a human being.
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