Let's start with the men...
Boyfriend 1: Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts, can be depended on to buy female sanitary products and have long meaningful discussions about clothes and the highlights in your hair.
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy, possibly gay, lives with his mother.

Boyfriend 2: Old Sadoo Face - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as: The prophet of doom
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass, Grumbles all the time about everything and thinks there is a huge conspiracy to destroy him because 'he knows.'

Boyfriend 3: Mr. Moneybags- "Hang on a sec. I have to refuel my private jet before we go to the island"
Also known as: Richie-Rich
Advantages: Is loaded, expensive gifts, great car
Disadvantages: Relatively shallow, drives too fast and probably has a drinking problem

Boyfriend 4: Tarzan - "Shut up, the match is about to start."
Also known as: Big 'n' Dumb
Advantages: Does a neat cave man throw-you-over-his shoulder move; is easily fooled, makes a great bodygaurd.
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig, has no concept of romance

Boyfriend 5: Computer-game Junkie - "How can you talk about love at a time like this? Don't you know that the zorg army needs me?"
Also known as: Geek
Advantages: Has nimble fingers, good hand-eye coordination and a fast internet connection.
Disadvantages: Spends 80% of his waking hours staring at a computer screen blowing up computer generated legions of terrorists and has a secret crush on an animated quake character with the body of Pamela and battle ability that would put Rambo to shame!

Boyfriend 6: Casanova - "Who, me?"
Also known as: Two-timing son of a b****
Advantages: Has romancing down to an art form, always smells & good can probably dance.
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life-most probably without you!

Boyfriend 7: Sex Maniac - "Let's do it"
Also known as: Stud Muffin
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

Boyfriend 8: The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich & famous. I have a dream..."
Also known as: Struggling-Artist, Struggling-Philosopher, Struggling-...
Advantages: Tells good stories, gives deep meaningful kisses and can go without physical intimacy for long periods of time, will be content to hold your hand and sigh occassionally.
Disadvantages: Is usually broke, has no concept of time

Boyfriend 9: Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's drink wine and make love in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as: Mr. Perfect
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction

and now for the women...