It was the night of the full moon, it was also very late, nearing midnight and it was the eve of my 13th birthday. At the time I lived in a rural farming area in South East Asia. I climbed up to the roof, by way of my favourite tree, which was tall enough to cascade over the roof and offered safe footholds for such a climb.

This was not a random climb though, because I have always loved watching the Moon's majestic ride across the sky. A hobby born from a lonely childhood, a calm moment in time that I call my own, while others slept, I climbed to the roof, where there's a piece of cardboard box as a mat and there I would be writing or drawing or just lying on my back and staring up at the night's splendour.

Tonight, however, was different, almost 2 years had gone by since my life was turned upside down. I was finally turning 13! No one else seemed to care that it was special. My parents were both busy. I was in the care of my grandmother, while my mother was on another island, working; my father was working in another country. And despite of all their best promise to remember my birthday, there I was, alone, in a strange remote region, in a new school, no real friends, except the Moon.

I suppose, I first became aware of the moon when I was around two years old, I was on a ship travelling to my father's country, he was holding me, I called it a ball... Dad gently laughed and said:"That's not a ball Queenie, it's the Moon." But from then on, it seemed like my life was about packing clothes into boxes, throwing away things and travelling long distances by night. Some places we stayed only for two or three months, some places for two or three years. But by the time I was turning 13, I was living in my fifth place of residence. - I had already become somewhat of a bookworm, the girl who spent most of her free daylight time with her nose stuck in a book. I was totally enthralled by Mythology (Greek, Norse, Scandinavian, Egyptian, Chinese, Vietnamese and Filipino). History that used to make no sense seem to offer so much new insights into the life of the ancients.- I already knew then that it was only for ten months, enough for me to study in that school a year.

So, on the one hand, I thought it was rather pointless to get attached to anyone; on the otherhand I felt mine was the loneliest heart and I found solace in the company of the moon. But dramatically, from the loneliness, I found solitude, and was lonely no more. I loved spending time alone, in my innerworld, enriching it with reading books that interested me the most, and letting my creativity fly. It was here that I began to learn to draw and paint; and write from the depth of my soul. And one of my greatest inspiration was the wonder of the Moon. Not the Scientific side of things, but the mystical side that came with the inspiration to write. So, from waxing gibbous to waning gibbous moons ever month, as soon as the moon would shine with enough light that I wouldn't need to use a lantern, I would be out there in the garden or on the roof, basking in the light of the moon...

On the night of July 21st to 22nd 1986 was a Full Moon night. And after over nearly 2 years of nocturnal activities by moonlight. I was already aware of the culture of the Moon Goddesses b then through all the books that I had digested in the past couple of years. I did something very strange, I sat there and knowingly addressed the Moon and talked to the Goddess Artemis.

She was the first Goddess I felt close to. The Goddess of the Moon. That night I asked her to be my Goddess and my guardian spirit, of her blessings I asked for help to become wise, that I may find my way to Happiness and True love.

I already knew from a very young age that having money does not mean you are happy, material things came and went, and with how many times my mother and father uprooted us and moved, I was not really attached to things other young people were attached to. Of objects I treasured books, pens and paper; art things... Wherever I was, whenever; a small notebook, a trusted pen were my constant companion. And I wrote just about anything, everything. I had been a diarist at nine years old. But on the Eve of my 13th Birthday I began my path as a witch.

To me a Witch is not about rebelling, nor is it about being different, nor standing out nor casting spells at the drop of a hat. It was something that spoke to me deeply, something solemn, something spiritual. I did not pursue it like a club I must join. I am a sober minded person even then, I knew it would not make me more popular to be a witch, in fact it was something that would have cause classmates and teachers to shun me if they were to find out. Witch was the word that named women who studied things I wanted to know, as well as the word that described the diabolical consorts of the devil as believed, by most of Christianity, of the pre-christianic beliefs of people who worshipped one goddess or other.

At 13, I came upon Truth that changed, shaped and moulded my consciousness and reality.

Today, I am 34 (2008), a mother of 2 lovely daughters, so far. Living in Finland, 5557 miles (8943 km) (4829 nautical miles) far from the Philippines, still on the same Path. I dare say I am deeply and truly happy with my life, because I am being true to myself, and I'm still a struggling artist. Love and light being part of my everyday life.

So, if someone came up to me and said "I want to be a witch" the first thing they would recieve from me is a huge list of things they need to research, a big notebook and a sentence: "Understand these, and we'll discuss it further, after you're through with the booklist."

It is not a joke to me, and it's not something I suggest anyone rush into, as a quick fix for what is missing in their lives. It is a fact that a lot of people walk around with holes where their hearts should have been. Becoming a witch to cast spells to make people love you is by far the worst reason to want to become one. And it does not change the fact that people would still have that hole in place of their hearts regardless.

It is not about being cool, nor about props and nice things, nor is it about having a strange "Witchy" names; nor dressing in black, or looking Goth.

It is about the inner peace and serenity,oneness with the Universe, understanding cycles of life, awareness of the natural world, a simpler - less complicated - lifestyle. It is about honouring your personal deities and recognizing that you are strong and you are important in the world. It's about believing in yourself enough to stand for your beliefs without fear, and stand alone if you must. Learn what you need and everything you can to give yourself a wide variety of skills and background knowledge. Know for yourself, know what you're talking about, so you do not just repeat what you heard from someone else at some point or other.

Spells and Rituals are part of it. But the core of Power is not in those rites and spells. It is You.

Everyone has a part of them that is always out of the reach of others, our most sacred, secret, Innerself. - I have found that no matter how I try to explain to someone what it is all about, the more it seems likely that it would be understood, but then when a person of like mind is the one listening, then it's like I really don't even need to use words to be heard.- This is what it feels like walking this path I have found for myself. It is not an obligation on anyone to understand what I had just written...

Think of it as musings of the heart never silent...