The first few days that Roz was in Calgary, I heard from her everyday. Every time she told me all about what Nick was doing. Nick was apparently keeping Brian just as well informed, because Brian called me after every time Nick called him.

About a week after she left, I was sitting at the computer with the stereo cranked up when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the stereo remote and aimed it in the direction of the music before going over to open the door and find Brian.

"Good, you're here. Kevin and I have decided that you need to get out. Stop worrying about Roz, for a while, anyway."

"Really. What makes you think I'm going anywhere?"

"Why not? What have you got to do that's better than hanging out with a couple gorgeous guys that you used to adore." I reached out and swatted him on the arm for seeming so conceited. He just laughed.

"With an argument like that, how could I possibly say no. Where are we going?"

"Dinner, first. Then ... " he shrugged, "Who knows." I gestured for him to sit down.

"Give me like ten minutes okay? Watch tv, whatever, I'll be right back." I ran to my bedroom and started cruising my closet. �What does one wear to go out with former Backstreet Boys?' I smacked myself in the head. They're NORMAL. I glanced at the dresses I had stored in the end of my closet. Thinking to myself, I am NOT a dress person, I grabbed my favorite one and found shoes to go with it. As I glanced at myself in the mirror I realized my hair needed some serious work. Rushing into the bathroom, I grabbed my hair dryer and a brush and tried to pull out all the waves that had crept in during the day. There was one curl, just left of my left eye, that refused to be tamed. I eventually got frustrated and gave up on it, knowing that the ten minutes I had asked for were long since up. I walked back into the living room and sighed.

"Okay, let's go." Brian turned around to look at me.

"Don't be excited or anything."

"Sorry, " I put on my most cheerful and excited smile. "Okay, let's go!" Brian laughed. "Is that better?" He just shook his head as we walked out the door.

The night sped by. Brian and I met Kevin, his fiancee and a couple of friends at the restaurant. Dinner was quiet; we all chatted and amazingly it never even crossed my mind who two of my companions were, or actually who they had been. And despite Brian's efforts, I did think about Roz. But mainly the fact that she was missing this. Every time I started to drift into my own thoughts, someone would grab my attention. When dinner was over, Brian and Kevin talked about where we were going next. I couldn't hear them, so as we left, I asked Brian.

"You'll find out when we get there."

"Augh! I hate surprises. I have no patience. Tell me!" Brian just grinned and drove to the mystery destination.

We ended up at the hottest club in Tampa, where the line-up was renowned for being hours long. Of course, we didn't have to wait in the line. Kevin �knew' the bouncer. It felt sort of like I was in a dream. In fact it was part of my dreams from high school and even college. It seemed ironic that it came to be true, once I was past the stage of dreaming about it.

Three hours later, I found myself sitting at a corner table trying to catch my breath. A second later, Brian set a glass of water in front of me, and sat down in the opposite chair. "You sure you don't want something else?"

"What are you trying to do, get me drunk?" I laughed as Brian's grin turned into his most innocent face.

"You figured me out. Damn!" I could only shake my head. Somehow they'd already managed to convince me to dance, if you could call it dancing; that was enough humiliation for me in one night. I felt myself start to yawn, but I couldn't hold it back. Kevin came up to the table just then.

"Looks like she's tired, Bri. Why not take her home?"

"I was just gonna say that." Brian looked at me. "You want to go?" I shrugged, then decided I'd better actually answer.

"Whatever, I'm alright." I looked down at the table as I yawned again. I heard Brian and Kevin laugh, as I looked back up. "Okay, maybe I'm not alright. But you don't have to take me home. I can get a cab." Brian shook his head.

"No way." He got up from his chair. "I'll talk to ya later, Kev." Kevin nodded and turned toward me.

"It was good seeing you again. Let me know when Roz gets back, I might have some news for her." I nodded, wondering what he was talking about.

"Uh hmm. Sure." I waved back at him as Brian led the way toward the doors.

It was after 3am when Brian and I walked into my apartment. I told Brian to make himself comfortable and then went to check my answering machine, sure that Roz had called while I was out. After listening to the messages, I changed out of my dress, into a comfy old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As I headed back to the living room, I tied my hair back into a ponytail.

"Roz called while we were out. Meg's okay, so they're flying back in a couple days." Brian had been looking at my collections of CDs and tapes, but he turned around as he started to answer.

"Cool, glad her sister's better." He looked at my clothes. "That's a change."

"Yup, this is the real me. I am not a flowery dress-up kind of girl. Do you want anything?" He shook his head as he grabbed one my cassettes.

"Haven't seen one of these in, about... 12 years." He held it up for me to see.

"Oh stop!" I said, as I tried to grab the New Kids On The Block tape from him. "What do you expect me to have done? Burned them all? In that case, I probably wouldn't have any Backstreet Cd's around anymore either." He laughed. "Besides, it's not like I still listen to it."

"Oh no, you're probably still in love with... who would it have been. Jordan? Or Joey?"

"Ha! You still know their names, that' makes you almost as bad!"

"Okay, okay, no turning this back on me, we're picking on you. I bet you have Jordan and Joe's solo albums tucked away in there somewhere."

"Don't pick on me! It's not nice to pick on people in their own home." I stuck my tongue out at him. "You know I'm not tired anymore, very weird."

"So, you want to go back now? �Cause you're on your own." I tilted my head to look like I was thinking about it.

"Nah, Company here is pretty good." One part of me was still having trouble with the fact that I was sitting there talking to Brian Littrell; another part of me hardly recognized who he was. He was so much like the friends I had in high school. I sighed. "So."

"So, what?" I shrugged.

"I d'know. Talk about something. How �bout you?"

"What do you want to know? You probably know as much about me as I do. Magazines, interviews, tv shows...." He sighed.

"Nu uh. Not what I meant. So far you've asked all the questions about me. So, now tell me about you, not the image." A slight smile played on his face.

"Image, me, pretty much the same. I never was good at hiding the real me. The guys used to bug me about it. But that's me." He shrugged.

"Oh, come on. Everybody's got some secrets. There must be stuff." Brian looked down at his hands, his left hand, where a slightly whiter ring could be seen around his ring finger.

"Leigh Anne was the only secret I kept. And not very well," he said quietly. I was suddenly very sad that I had pushed the question.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, as I took his hand. "I didn't mean ... " I didn't know what to say. I heard him sigh deeply.

"It's okay. I just, hadn't really thought about her in a while." I took a breath wondering if I should ask the next question I was wondering.

"How long has it been?" I held my breath while I waited for him to answer.

"Not long enough, I guess." He paused, "about six months since it was official. But we had trouble at the beginning, I just didn't want to notice." It seemed that once he started, he didn't know how to stop. Or maybe he just didn't want to. He went on to explain how tired she had gotten of being harassed by his fans. And how he just kept telling her it would get better. But it never did. Even after they split up. They had gotten married just before the group had �taken time off' and Leigh Anne had received some pretty threatening mail. Some of it claiming she was "just like Yoko Ono to the Beatles." He'd taken it more seriously after that, but Leigh Anne just didn't want to deal with it anymore. The fact that she married a Backstreet Boy was affecting her career. And no matter what, nothing made it better. Finally, she just gave up and left. That's when he'd gone back to Kentucky.

We spent the rest of the night talking about our lives. Neither of us realized how much time had passed until I looked out the window and noticed how bright the sky had become.

"Oh shit. It's morning." I couldn't help but laugh as I looked at how tired Brian looked and then realized I must look just as bad. "If I look as bad as you, we're in trouble." I felt a pillow from the couch hit the side of my head knocking me over. "Thanks a lot. If I had any energy you would have just started a pillow war." I yawned, and then laughed as he yawned consecutively. "You can't drive home like that."

"I've been worse." I nodded.

"I'm sure you have, but I haven't been around to feel guilty for letting you go when you kill yourself. Stay right there." I got up and went into my spare room, that Roz had claimed as her room, to grab a couple of extra pillows and a blanket. By the time I got back to the living room, Brian was asleep on the couch. He half woke up when I put the pillows and blanket down.

As I was walking to my room, I heard him mumble, "And all I was gonna do was ask you on a real date."

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