Chapter twelve

Brian and I spent a lot of time together while Nick, Roz and Kevin worked on her show for the tour. Not to say that Brian didn't add his two cents about what it should be like. Both of us spent our fair share of time suggesting things and helping with details, but the majority of the work was done by Nick, Roz and Kevin.

Neither Brian or I talked about where the relationship was going, and neither of us pushed the limits of it either. Roz questioned me once or twice, but she gave up after realizing that I wasn't going to give her the answers she wanted. Mainly, because I didn't know them myself. In return, she gave me all the information I could handle about Nick.

Eventually, the time for the tour to begin arrived. To start off, Nick and Kevin to put on a small show in Tampa, sort of like a mini-dress rehearsal, totally for Roz's sake. Brian and I, Kevin and his fiancee had seats in the center of the front row. But we hung out backstage until the show was about to start. At one point while I was talking to Roz, I overheard Brian say to Kevin, �You know, I think I kinda miss this. All the energy, excitement.' Then in a joking tone �I want a career back.' Kevin just shook his head.

I had never seen Roz so nervous, but I had expected her to be. Nick, Brian and Kevin kept trying to give her tips to calm down, but I knew she really wasn't paying attention. When it was time for us to leave, I gave her the most reassuring hug that I could, and whispered "Follow the dream."

We found our way to our seats, amid a few curious glances and several squeals of "there's Brian, and Kevin." I hardly noticed the looks and comments anymore. I laughed to myself; that must mean I was spending too much time with these people. My reality was changing. I realized as I sat down that I was more nervous for Roz than I had been in my life. The lights went down and Roz was introduced. Brian must have felt my nervousness, because he felt him squeeze my hand reassuringly.

I felt myself shiver as Roz took the stage and started to sing. She started with a couple of familiar pop songs and then as she started her third song, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I knew the words she was singing so well. They had hung on my wall for years, as a poem, that she had written for me. I leaned across Brian, to talk to Kevin. "You helped her put music to that didn't you?" I sniffled. "Thank you." Kevin just nodded and smiled, as I leaned back into my own seat and sighed.

Roz finished her next two songs and the stage cleared in preparation for the main performance. During the few minutes before he took the stage, the crowd started chanting �NICK, NICK, NICK, NICK!' Brian leaned over to me. "So, this is what it's like being in the audience. You're right, you're not as loud."

I gave him my �I told you so' look and then said "You haven't heard anything yet. Wait until he's actually ON the stage." Brian shook his head in amazement, as the crowd got louder and the lights went back down.

Then came the day that Roz left. It was bound to be emotional. Nick picked Roz up early that morning so that they'd have time to go over anything that came up in the last minute. Brian had offered to drive me so that I didn't have to drive home alone after Roz left. I kept telling myself that I would be fine. It wasn't like she would be gone forever. This is her dream, and I couldn't begrudge her that. It was almost strange how much a part of my life she had become since she had been living with me.

I said barely two words to Brian on the way. I knew he was making jokes and talking non stop trying to make me feel better, but it wasn't helping. Finally, I put my hand over his. "Sshh!" The rest of the trip was silent. We parked down the street to avoid the mob of fans waiting for a glimpse of Nick, their hero. To get in the door, we still had to push our way through a somewhat smaller mob, and I realized as we went past security that it must have been a backwards perspective for Brian.

I couldn't stop the sarcasm. "Hey Bri. You get a rush of memories seeing all those screaming girls?" He half-turned and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, great memories. Best of my life." I giggled. I was glad he was there. He had hold of my hand to lead me through the crowd, and I squeezed his hand as we found Nick and Roz.

"Lexi, I'm glad you're here. I couldn't go without seeing you first."

"Of course I was gonna be here freak." Roz looked at me strangely when I called her one of her old nick-names. She looked for a second as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"Frrruck! It's been so long since we've used those names." I saw Nick and Brian exchange puzzled glances.

"It's a long story, and we have no time for a long story today. Besides it's not like you two don't have weird nicknames." I paused. "Frick and Frack, need I say more?" I heard Roz giggle. I could only sigh. I didn't know how to say everything that I was thinking. Instead I pointed to Nick. "You. Take good care of my lil sis, okay? Otherwise you'll have to deal with me." Nick grinned and did a military salute.

"Yes, ma'am." I hoped he was serious. "You take care of B-rok. You're good for him." I felt myself blush, and I sighed again.

"Of course." I turned to hug Roz. "You know, this is the end of one story and the beginning of a whole new one in your life." I felt her sigh. I pulled away from her. "No crying. It's not like you'll be gone forever."

"I know, I know. But I'm nervous and excited and sad and... well everything." I heard the door open behind me.

"Nick, Roz. Time to go." The door shut. Roz hugged me one more time. And whispered �Thank you. For everything, and being you." We pulled apart, and the group of us headed outside to where they were leaving.

Roz waved out the window until I couldn't see her anymore, and I felt Brian's arm across my shoulders for support. As I leaned against him, I knew what I had told her about her new life story beginning, was also true for me.

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