My Wife's Purse Contents
- Checkbook with only 1 blank check left inside.
- Hairbrush with the handle broken off.
- A set of keys for cars we don't own anymore.
- A wallet-sized calculator with dead batteries.
- Broken nail-clippers with only one "jaw".
- About $13 in pennies and nickels (and a few dimes).
- Last week's losing lottery ticket.
- Last month's grocery list.
- Last year's Christmas list.
- An inch-thick pile of coupons that expired 4 years ago.
- Rubber bands.
- Gum wrappers.
- 1/2 roll of lifesavers.
- A small collection of various buttons.
- A handful of mints and toothpicks.
- Salt and pepper packets.
- A stack of McDonald's napkins.
- A roll of undeveloped film, over-exposed due to age.
- Discount cards from stores that went belly-up a decade ago.
- 2 empty tubes of lipstick.
- 3 dried up ball point pens.
- 6 nearly empty books of matches, good for 11 lights total.
- Numerous receipts dating back to 1997.
- Ticket stubs from that new hit movie "Animal House".
- Someone else's keychain that we keep meaning to drop off at the lost-and-found.
- A petrified french fry.
- A 68HC11E micro-processor chip !?!?
- Business cards of people we don't know or can't remember.
- Directions to that restaurant we'll never go to again.
- Local telephone numbers of friends and relatives that have moved out of state ever since.
Actually, I do not know if these are really the contents of my wife's purse
(as I'm not brave enough to root through it), but I bet I'm close!
Hopefully, she won't take revenge and write up a
"My Husband's Stupid Beer-Drinking Buddies" article.