Intelligence |
IQ+>++ |
I'm just smart enough to
realize how dumb I really am. |
IQ->--- |
I love the Cleveland Indians and spend half of
my entire paycheck for season tickets, even though
I could watch them lose for FREE on television. |
IQ->---- |
I love the Cleveland Browns and spend half of
my entire paycheck for season tickets, even though
I could watch them lose for FREE on television. |
!IQ |
I don't need to go to school
because I already know everything. |
IQ? |
I had a degree,
but that was 10,000 beers ago. |
IQ* |
I am a psuedo-intellectual
who sits around campus all day long,
yacking aimlessly about politics and
other social issues so that everyone else
can hear how many REAL BIG WORDS
I know; in a feeble attempt to lure that
stringy-haired psuedo-intellectual girl
(wearing those John Lennon glasses with a
"Make Love / Not War" button on her shirt)
and GET IN HER PANTS! |
IQ1/2 |
Where's my Dixie flag? |
1/IQ |
Motor skills only. |
Sex |
M (or XY) | Male
|
F (or XX) | Female
|
MWF | I have sex every
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
|
XYw/IQ |
Male with Brain:
I hate sports. If I really wanted to
watch a bunch of morons toss a ball
back and forth, I could just visit the
local playground during recess. |
XYw/oIQ |
Male without Brain.
"Food... women... sports...";
and maybe some Star Trek in between.
|
XXw/IQ |
Female with Brain. Caution:
directly affects "bitch factor". |
XXw/oIQ |
Female without Brain:
Making love to me is like jacking off
on a marinated pile of make-up.
|
Age |
a10 |
I'm into Pokemon |
a20 |
I'm into Quake |
a30 |
I'm into Pokemon & Quake,
but for different reasons |
a40 |
I know WHY it's called a phone 'dial' |
a50 |
I remember when AM radio was "cool"
and when FM radio was "elevator muzak" |
a60 |
I remember when there was no TV
...or do I??? |
a70 |
People stampede out of the public restroom
when they see me hobble into a stall. |
The Paranoid Factor |
PF--- |
I raise Hell |
PF-- |
I don't give a damn |
PF- |
So what? |
PF |
I worry about my car |
PF+ |
I worry about my job |
PF++$ |
I work at Pizza Hut |
PF+++ |
I tape aluminum foil all over the place
and still have nightmares about my
'overdue library book' ordeal. |
Oral Hygene |
OH++ |
I have all 32 teeth,
or at least the 28 that count |
OH+ |
My teeth aren't white
because I drink and smoke |
OH |
I have a few cavities |
OH- |
I am missing a tooth or two |
OH-- |
It took 3 engineers to design my last bridgework |
OH--- |
NASCAR fan |
OH---- |
When I close my mouth,
my teeth neatly mesh into one row. |
Breast size
(for you women only...
directly follows the 'XX' chromosome code) |
. . |
I am flat-chested |
o o |
I am a qualified mammal |
(.)(.) |
I am normal |
( . )( . ) |
I have big udders |
(_._)(_._) |
NASCAR fan |
UU |
I am over 70 years old
so who gives a crap, anyway? |
Blood Type |
A+ |
A positive |
A- |
A negative |
O+ |
O positive |
O- |
O negative |
CH3OH |
I drink too much |
C2Cl3F3
=[CH]6= 4(N2O) |
I wreck a lot of cars |
The EMO (techno-slang for "emotional") in You |
:-) |
I am a happy person |
:-( |
I am a sad person |
8-( : ) |
I have been inside a UFO once |
:-O |
I burp a lot |
[ : ] |
My head is shaped like a square box |
@#$%^&! |
I drive a car in Akron, Ohio |