Date Posted: 06/02/2001
Subject: This friend, who isn't me...Q: � � � � I have a girl friend who is 17 she can't date why and how is this her parents are being over protective?
� --Amy, Boston
A: � � � � Y'know, this is really something she has to discuss with her parents. Are you concerned about it, or just curious? Sure, this may sound like something from a 50's sitcom, but parental control is still around, believe it or not. Now, perhaps your friend's parents don't feel she's ready for dating seriously. At 17, though, I would have a hard time imagining someone about to graduate from high school but not being mature enough to date. It's very possible her parents are being overprotective, but do bear in mind that they're not doing it so they can gloat over her and keep her home. They're concerned about the workings of a corrupt society (you have to admit, it's not healthy) that finds nothing wrong with teenagers experimenting sexually with multiple partners.
� � � � Ok, so I'm old-fashioned, but I don't assume that I necessarily agree with this tactic. I think that by 16 the parents have to realize that by forbidding something, they're only strengthening the temptation to sneak around. And by the time they lift the ban, which is hopefully by the time the poor kid is allowed to buy alcohol, she's lost years of necessary learning and developing. The end result is often that when she finally is allowed to date, her dating skills aren't much more than the equivalent of the stereotypical adolescent with braces, glasses, severe acne, prescription shoes, dandruff, and a raging libido. Yeah. The A-bomb with monthly mood swings. And those parents won't even realize what they're unleashing on the world.
� � � � I won't pretend to know exactly what your friend's parents' rationale is, because there are a lot of reasons that might convince them this is a better way. Regardless, short of calm, intelligent and mature discussion, this isn't going to change. Even with that, it might not change.
~~Leandra
Date Posted: 6/02/01
Subject: So, like, there's this girl...Q:� � � � At the Homecoming game this school year I met the perfect girl.. She was smart funny ambitious and very good looking. She was A very social and should end up in high places if everybody else sees what I see in her. I was going to ask her out after I got back in town after Christmas. But on Christmas morning I called her on my cell phone because I get free long distance and she told me she was moving the next day. I still write her letters and she says I'm such a sweet guy but I know a long-distance relationship won't work. This is just a background. My real Question is Are there anymore girls out there who are smart beautiful AND appreciate the sensitive type It makes me feel shallow now when I find another girl who I like then find out she's a ditz. There's a whopper for ya.
� --d00f, VAA: � � � � Hold on a tick....you're saying you feel shallow because you want a girl with substance? d00f, you have it all backward! If you found out the fairly intelligent person whose company you enjoyed was not so delectable, and by that criteria alone rejected her, then you would be shallow, my friend. No, you're perfectly all right. But not all girls of substance are beautiful. The more cheerleader-esque, made-up, Brittany Spears imitators you set your little heart on, the more you'll be disappointed. Not because all of that type are bimbos, but because people who put a lot of emphasis on their looks often do so because there's not much under the hood. (And I'm not speaking in any sexual innuendo code either.) Someone who might at first appear plain in comparison with these nubile, walking Barbie dolls, if viewed for her own sake, will pass with flying colors the intellectual, social, and even sensitivity requirements you've erected. Not only that, but you'll find that more often than not, such a girl will have a more realistic understanding of beauty and will be able to see those same qualities in you.
� � � � Do be careful about comparing other possible dates to the one you've set your heart on. Your memory has so increased her appeal and perfection that you most likely have a skewed view of her by this point. If you think a long-distance relationship won't work out, then why emotionally commit yourself to one? Either do it all the way, or don't do it all the way. Straddling the fence will just handicap you for later encounters with girls just as worthy of your time, attention and affection. This isn't to say you can't still be friends, because that would be silly--unless her friendship only serves to remind you what a special opportunity you lost. You're very young still; just keep this in mind.
� � � � To conclude....Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. The kind of girls you've described do indeed exist, but you will most likely have to turn over a few stones before you find one. Don't give up hope. If you don't find one your age, you could always try a chatroom.
~~Leandra
Date Posted: 06/01/01 Q: � � � � People keep talking about all this 'accept yourself first' mumbo-jumbo before you get in a relationship. But not a single person has ever been able to convince me that this is a good thing. I mean, gawd...who cares as long as I get a piece of @$$, right? And when are we gonna get a guy's opinion? This is kind of lopsided as far as I'm concerned.
Subject: Relationship Junkie
� --MTheaded, Philly
A:� � � � Lopsided? Maybe. But then again, you're an @$$hole, so everything tends to look lopsided to you. If I thought guys needed a representative voice, I'd have a guest on. Otherwise, shut yer pie-hole.
And of course, I say this in the most loving manner possible. � � � � By the way, when you're picking up those pieces you mentioned, please do it somewhere else. This is a family site. Mostly. And, just to show how nice and forgiving a person I am, when you're ready to get over yourself and move back from de Nile to Reality Rd., gimme a call. I have winged monkeys just itching for an official reason to descend upon your house with self-help books by the leading pop psychologists in the world. (And those will do far more damage than the Fires of Destruction ever could.) They'll set up Feng Shui and waterfalls of Serenity all over your house and leave patchouli-scented incense in your happy place, and if you're extra-pathetic, they might bring a certain little massaging something! Winged monkeys are standing by to take your call!
� � � � You see, kiddies, Mr. MTheaded is a very unhappy person. He thinks that grabbing the nearest cocktail waitress is a fun game. But really, he's only making himself sadder and sadder. Awww. So don't be like Mr. MTheaded. Unless you plan to travel a lot and take drugs. Then it might be ok.
~~Leandra
Date Posted: 06/04/2001
Subject: You're completely insane...
(Slightly modified from original)
A: yO waHT dA *#$% dis *&^# yoRu *&#^%@ aViCe yUo *&^#^% dUm *&)&#*(*@#^^#*($*%^@#*(#*^%^&(#*^&@#*(@&^$^&(#(*.
� --Sincerely, bEgDaDdY, dAhOoD
A: � � � � I'm sorry, I don't speak Moronese. This is really more for our newer visitors, who don't know what happens to people who are unnecessarily rude and simply should not have survived natural selection. Rest assured, folks, the winged monkeys have been dispatched to Mr. bEgDaDdY's place of residence using the latest in tracking technology previously available only to Evil Supervillains of yore. But now, GLD (Gatesian Locating Devices) is available for the lives of only two henchmen and the blood of one honest PR representative's firstborn, a savings of three henchmen and one attractive blonde virgin! Call the GLD representative near you today!
~~Leandra
Date Posted: 06/01/01
Subject: So now what?
Q: � � � � ok so liek, me and this guy really like eachother and stuff, but he's all "i wanna experiment" and crap and I'm all "thats so unfair and your just a jack@$$" so ok, now waht do i do? I liek him and stuff but hes being a jerk and i do'nt want to put up with him any more. should I get rid of hem cuz theres a nother guy i kinda liek but hes' going with this loser girl ok so what should I do now?
� --dababechica, Dallas
A: � � � � Wait, hold on a second....what do you want? And whoever said you had to go for either? The first guy dropped you. Don't pine after him. If he expects you to, disappoint him. But don't go chasing after another guy who's attached to a (and I quote) "loser girl" and have the same thing happen. Just hang out for a while. If you're flitting from guy to guy to guy to guy (you get the idea) then it's just going to be a string of losers and disappointments. Seriously, if you want to keep from screwing up your ideas about love and relationships, don't be in such a hurry to land another guy. This is the 00's. Be your own person for a week, yeesh.~~Leandra