Butcher Night was a grand success. Curt celebrated the third anniversary of the Butcher Shop in style with his dearest friends. A hard-hitting article appears here.
A Butcher revival is indeed in the works. As mentioned by Curtis, original STB misfits Shayne and Brent have been starting a slow course of convergence. However, the forecast remains hazy as to when and where the brainstorm will hit.
We interrupt this headline for an emergency broadcast of the STB Alert System. This is not a test.
A Samnambulitis Watch is in effect until 9:00 AM EST Monday, October 25. An occurance of Samnambulitis is characterized by loud crashing, psychobilly riffs, and a generally unpredictable nature.
If an attack of Samnambulitis should occur: seek shelter, open all windows to prevent pressurization, then turn on your microwave for further instructions. If caught outside, do not panic. Lay flat in the nearest low spot or depression until you become depressed.
This has been an emergency broadcast of the STB Alert System, Indianapolis.
After a successful afternoon of collaboration with Curtman and Doug E. Fresh, I am pleased to report that Curtis has emerged from his very brief sabatical with a renewed vigor for music. His current fancies include locating Shayne and Brent, original members of Sam the Butcher, and possibly even re-recording all those STB favorites for a definite anthology. Also, Curtis has not turned his back to the idea of a totally new project, and you can rest assured that anything Curt touches will have a macabre and madcapped flavor, thus preserving the spirit of the rat.
And now, our roller coaster ride comes to an end, at the bottom. "Curt's New Band" is now on haitus indefinitely as of last Sunday. Although reasons are unclear to the webmaster, timing conflicts and a massive disheartening due to the no-go ABATE gig could be major factors. So what's in store now? It's been rumored that Curt could go on to record the soundtrack for the upcoming independant film, "Spike." Other than that, only the rat knows.
Some bad Butcher news has been spotted on the horizon. Shaun, one of the many Killian frontmen, went and pulled a classic Shaun stunt: ditch. That means the ABATE gig has been wiped off the table and the group still yearns for some vocal company. In other news, Indiana Beach, an inspiration-generating powerhouse, has finally delved back into hybernation, thus dropping the tourist/local resentment index by 200%.
Speaking of inspiration, Ezra has their own webpage. Actually, this Ezra happens to be a powerpop trio on a record label in Minnesota, not the fabled, and much despised, Roof Garden cover band. My thanks to N. Smith for the heads-up. That is all. Goodnight.
Well, after many a late night Curtis finally made it out to the Beach to drop off the classified Tarkington performance. After much colaboration between myself and the mastermind, the following features will soon be added:
These bullet-lined blurbs will soon feature the severed head instead of dots.
A full photo documentary of the Murphy residence is in order. This house is a prime candidate for the next Poltergiest movie. Some rumors abound that Sammy Gibson still lurks in the upper floors of the house and that he even devoured Bob.
The officially licensed Sam the Butcher internet game, "Follow the Magic Bouncing Cross," could be in the works before anybody notices.
And now, some quick notes:
First and foremost, Curt used the phrase "cool beans" as the subject of his email message today. If you see him, berate him and tell him to get with the times.
Shayne may jump aboard ship to record all those Sam the Butcher favorites and perhaps create some new treasures.
The house next to Donnie's place in Monticello has been converted into a church. Even God digs the tunes.
Mr. Troy, vocalist hopeful, wasn't hopeful enough to send a demo tape, so he was told to step off. Shaun of Killian infamy is now top-billing in the ABATE performance slated for October 2nd. Yours truly could even make a guest appearance, maybe even on stage.
First of all, the lounge acts in the Skyroom have been discontinued, thus dampening Curt and I's aspirations for heckle activity. The only other ray of hope is if a certain former romantic interest, affectionately referred to as Ms. PAB, of said webmaster still buses the tables. Then we'll have plenty to heckle.
Curtis will be making an appearance at the Beach tomorrow to collaborate with audiophile supreme N.Smith to begin making the live album a reality.
And, lastly, the Curtman has found new living quarters and will soon become skinny and sick and paranoid, without a cent to his name.
This post is going to be really quick since I just got streched, squeezed, and squashed by the Chapman, plus I'm not used to working, so I'm tired. So what's the latest? "Curt's New Band" will be performing October 2nd for ABATE, a motorcycle club, (read biker gang), in Lafayette at a currently undisclosed location. Also, Curt will be making yet another appearance at Indiana Beach, as he is scheduled to join none other than myself at the Skyroom for a hardcore night of heckle-the-lounge-crooners.
And now, a brief outline of the Killian tragedy:
Shayne hits the road; Sam the Butcher dies.
Curt, Joe, and Donnie hold strong and recruit Chris Stern, guitarist extraordinaire.
Curt finds some vocalist that soon disappears.
Curt finds Crazy Zig wandering the ghettos of Bluff Street in subzero temperatures wearing nothing but pants and flimsy flannel. Yes, that's right: no shoes. So Curt does what any normal person would do for someone with issues: extends the opportunity to sing in a band bound for superstardom. The end result: Crazy Zig dissappears.
Chris falls off the face of the Earth for about two weeks due to domestic discussion. Chris' wife will soon be pitted against our heroes in a cage match on the next pro-wrestling pay-per-view special.
In the wake of Chris' absence, Daryl Hunt jumps on board, and thus Sam the Butcher fully absorbs the defunct Vampyre.
A few performances took place during and between all highlights.
Curt is going to have to fill in the blanks because I forget the rest.
Ever wonder what kind of support the boys get from their musical peers? Just check out Ska-the-Butcher. These people are apparently a ska-core punk band from Phoenix, Arizona with the name Sam the Butcher. (Update 9/24/99: Their listing used to read "Sam the Butcher from Phoenix, Arizona, not the crappy band from Indiana." They must have been forced to change it. Ha!) Crappy, indeed. At least this crappy band has a website that works. I guess they got bothered so much by rabid fans seeking the real deal that it upset them to the point of mud-slinging. Jealosy has always been an ugly color.
On August 16, I received an inescapable voice inside my mind. It spoke of the following information, and then said, "Post it ASAP, crackhead!" So here goes:
Donnie payed back Joe for the new drum set and the Dethmobile.
Donnie payed back Curt for the new drum set.
Joe payed back Curt for the deposit on his old apartment, wherein Joe now resides.
Curt payed back T.J. some more money for the P.A. system, which was bought three years ago.
"Curt's New Band" could be in action as soon as October 2nd. Stay tuned for details.
The band is trying out a new lead singer this Sunday, August 22. Mr. Troy is fresh from a John Cougar cover band. I say if he doesn't know where Seymour is, or why that should be important, he's out on his ear!
Curtis is making a personal appearance at Indiana Beach tomorrow, August 17, posing as a tourist.
Curtis promises to divulge the entire Killian legacy soon.
"I saw the web page. Funny stuff!! Although I might have to knock your block off of making fun of me so much." -- Curtis to yours truly. Not only is he a crackhead, but now he has delusions of grandeur.
Only a few days ago I had an utterly life-changing experience: a close encounter with half of the now-defunct Sam the Butcher. Shocking! Here are some essential items I learned from this misadventure:
Curt and Joe have developed subconscience tendencies to gravitate towards each other, which may also extend to other band members. How else could they be living in the same appartment complex? I theorize that it is a species-preservation mechanism to prevent the extinction of geniune musicianship, which seems to be on the endangered species list. It's akin to the whole "strength in numbers" philosophy. Of course, the band members could still be together only to serve the rat's diabolical and sinister plans.
Donnie has become proficient at playing drums.
The next incarnation of Sam the Butcher needs a lead singer. I suggest Tom Claypool.
And now, other highlights of this most unusual occurance:
"Dude, we're eating prime rib and steak every night. I'm eating like a king." -- Curtis, in defense of his chubby cheeks and rolly-polly demeanor as a result of living with his sister. Get in shape, you crackhead!
"The Butcher Shop is awesome." --Curtis.
"The website is way better than what we deserved." -- Joe. Consider it an investment, guys. I expect returns.
"Ha ha ha." -- Curtis, upon discovering that I've been working at the Beach this summer. It's inescapable.
Curtis made it back to West Lafayette, hot on the heels of a crazed, demented grappler known only as the Chapman.
Joe is somewhere in Lafayette, doing something. But you know it can't be pure of heart and could even involve sacrifices of band members.
Nobody knows what happened to Shayne. Perhaps Mr. Wade could enlighten us here.
Lastly, sources confirm that Mr. D. Allen Murphy, esq., has performed an about-face in all aspects of life, thus earning the title Mr. Responsibility. Who would have thought that our little clown would grow up to be such a big man?
As news trickles in, I promise to post it, so tell all your friends that only check this site once every other month.
The Old Stuff You May Have Missed if You've Been Mentally Ill the Past Year.
Currently, the band is a shambles. Donnie has left the band due to
irreconcilable differences. Curt has since graduated from Purdue and
is now in Evansville working for an insurance firm, although
it is rumored that a transfer to Lafayette is in the works. Last word
from Shayne is that he was going to manage some place in Indianapolis,
although things were looking doubtful and something may have went awry.
Joe is still here at Purdue.
So what will become of Sam the Butcher? Only the rat knows.
[email protected] / created September 23, 1999 / revised September 23, 1999