Who knows who Alan Greenspan is? If not, then shame on you! Regardless, I was recently reminded of a story of his earlier years. Being the intellect that he is, when he proposed to his now-wife for marriage, he did it in such a complicated way, that she didn't realize it was a proposal until days after it happened. I guess he didn't do the traditional on-bended-knee-with-ring.

Something similiar happened to me, only that it was far from a happy ending. As it turns out, my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, only that I didn't know until yesterday ago. I am by no way implying that he is/was an intellect. This misunderstanding explains a lot of what was going on between us in the past few days.

After my much-needed closure, we pretty much watched a lot of TV. One thing we watched was Star Trek (please don't ask which one, I have no idea). The subject was of parallel universes, how a new universe is created for ever different decision/action that is taken. Through some shift in the in the it has caused a thus . A guy is now able to transport between these parallel universes. The one thing that got to me was one line, how one of the female characters said something like, "I just don't like the idea that there was a place that you didn't love me." Of course, I couldn't help but to think if there was different universe here that my ex-boyfriend did love me. Well, lucky her, I guess (if it does exist, I'm quite jealous).

Afterwards, we watched 5 episodes of anime, which were all from the same series, a totally couple-oriented anime. *sigh* Then I drove back home... it took me about 80 minutes to get back home, double my normal time. I guess it makes sense since I did drive at about 60-70% of my normal speed. I was by far the slowest vehicle on the road. I knew I wasn't disturbing traffic... too late at night (2AM-ish), but if I did get pulled over, I thought I had a good excuse.

I won't lie, I'm taking this quite hard. I won't pretend nothing has ever happened. I know I'll get over/used to this. I guess I'm just tired of being strong. I really just want to give up and be rescued. I think I'll give myself the weekend off, sulk for a while, wallow in self-pity, and hopefully slowly get back to normal starting Monday. I hope life seems more interesting soon, I've lost interest in many things in life. E^3 (a huge entertainment conference) the last few days, and I wasn't nearly as hardcore about it as I usually am. In fact, I haven't played a video game for 9 days. *sigh*

There are so many things that I want to ask my ex about, there are so many things that I want to know, but I won't ask them. I'm afraid it has become a dead topic, "leave the past in the past" I guess. I'm not quite keen enough to ask about the future yet either. I'll have to let him go first.

The last thing I told him before I left that night was that I never lied to him and that I really did love him and still do. I suppose my last request is for him to develop his film so that I can have pictures of our vacation together.