I'm far from being a NASCAR fan, or car racing in general. Heck, I don't really even care too much about cars, just as long as they are reliable, that's pretty much good enough for me. But today, a dark day in NASCAR, we say goodbye to Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Since I've never been a fan of NASCAR, I'm obviously not a fan of Earnhardt either. But when reading this news (on the home page of espn.com), it made me feel really gloomy.

I'm not quite sure why I felt like this. I felt a bit guilty not really knowing him, other than namesake. Sure, I know that his fame, and that he won his first Daytona 500 in 1998, but in a way, it was that I didn't know enough. I read much about him today, and seen the news reels several times today, but I was still upset. Then it occured to me. It was probably just the fact that a famous athlete, still doing what he does best has died. My feelings were because they sympathsized with Earnhardt's fans, as well as his son (who came in #2 in the race). I also wondered how it felt to be Waltrip (the winner) felt, to have his first victory being overshadowed by this event.

Perhaps it's just the lost of such a character forever that hurts the most. I remember when my favorite players were traded from one team to another... how upset it made me. But the idea of any one of them actually dying never occured to me. We've seen lawsuits, strikes, and injuries that prevent them from playing, but death always means "last" and "final." What would it mean if I couldn't see them eveer play again? Many people felt that way when Michael Jordan retired (both times), but hey, he still does tons of endorsements, so you can still see him from time to time. Some players after retirement become coaches or commentators. So, they are still in their sport.

I also realized that the sports that I do follow are far less risky that that of car racing, but that doesn't mean that something cannot happen outside of the stadium/arena. This won't be something that will change my life forever, but has already helped me better understand the role of being a fan.