Santa is Pissed
T'was the night before Christmas - Old
Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down
his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little
jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole
works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do
I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late
at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer
all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the
maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things
would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't
damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause
money?
And the kids these days - they all are
the pits
They want the impossible... Those mean
little shits.
I spent a whole year making wagons and
sleds
Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs
and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request
for them
They want computers and robots... they
think I'm IBM!
If you think that's bad...just picture
this
Try holding those brats... with their
pants full of piss
They pull on my nose - they grab at
my beard
And if I don't smile.. their moms think
I'm weird
Flying through the air...dodging the
trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my
knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just
no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year...now
you know the reason
I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH
for the season!!
I'll laze in the sun-into bed I'll get
tucked
And those snotty nosed brats-can go
and get @#$%##.
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