CAT QUIZ FOR HUMANS

Your cat waits and meows at the front door when you arrive. Is it saying?
��� a) Welcome home, I missed you
��� b) The phone rang twice while you were out
��� c) Feed me, *NOW*
��� d) So, I see you didn't bring me the mate I asked for.
����� Your pillow is history

Your cat meows at the door when you go out. Is it saying?
��� a) Please don't leave me here all alone
��� b) Have a nice day
��� c) But what if I get hungry while you out?
��� d) Kiss that new vase goodbye

Your cat digs its claws in your leg. This is?
��� a) An unsuppressed primal instinct
��� b) A sign of affection
��� c) A demand to be fed now
��� d) Have YOU had YOUR shots?
e) An attempt to 'fix' you like you 'fixed' him

Your cat scratches at the door after being fed. Is it saying?
��� a) Lemme out - I need to fertilize the garden
��� b) Wanna go out and play?
��� c) Wonder what they've got to eat next door?
��� d) Do I mark my territory outside, or inside?

When your cat stares at you, it means:
��� a) It is bored silly
��� b) It's trying to understand how it's food grows in cans
��� c) You are being sized-up for an attack
��� d) Human mating habits are disgusting

Your cat brings a dead mouse/bird into the house. This means:
��� a) A primal instinct is being displayed
��� b) You're not feeding me enough
��� c) It is showing a sign of affection by sharing
��� d) It is demonstrating the fact that it knows how to kill; be warned
��� e) All of the above

Your cat displays signs it wants to mate with other cats in the neighborhood. You should:
��� a) Let it out immediately
��� b) Try to switch it's interests to other things
��� c) Put on heavy protective clothing if you are not planning to let it out
��� d) If the other cat's owner is attractive, maybe you could double

Your cat sleeps with you; covering your face. This means:
��� a) It is showing you great affection
��� b) It knows you are allergic to cats
��� c) It has discovered the fine art of suffocation
��� d) You should have let it out tonight

CAT QUIZ FOR CATS

Your human walks into the kitchen. Does this mean?
��� a) It's hungry
��� b) It's lost
��� c) You're hungry
��� d) Let the begging begin

Your human puts down a bowl of food for you. Is this?
��� a) Supper
��� b) Something s/he obviously wouldn't eat
��� c) Something to keep you going till supper's ready
��� d) Inedible junk to be scorned in favor of what the humans eat

Your human removes you from the top of the television. Does this mean?
��� a) You're in trouble - better not do it again
��� b) Nothing - humans do this from time to time
��� c) The human wants to play, so climb up again to amuse it
��� d) It is time to chew on the cable wire again

Staircases are for:
��� a) Getting up to the human's bed at 4am
��� b) Lying in wait in the dark at the top of
��� c) Walking down just slower than the human you are in front of
��� d) All of the above

Your human talks/yells at you. You should:
��� a) Listen intently, even if you don't understand
��� b) Meow in acknowledgment and continue what you were doing
��� c) Ignore him/her completely; you're a cat, they mean nothing
��� d) Move on to the next annoying activity to encourage their talking behavior

Phone and electrical cords and strings from fabrics are:
��� a) Important to humans and should be left alone
��� b) Playthings and deserve your total attention; no matter what damage may result
��� c) Annoying and should be removed immediately

Birds, small rodents and large bugs should be:
��� a) Ignored (especially if your human wants them removed)
��� b) Played with until they stop playing
��� c) Presented to your human as a proud trophy
��� d) Hidden under your human's pillow for safe keeping
��� e) Consumed for their nutritional value

A human giving you a bath should be considered:
��� a) Under no circumstances
��� b) Under no circumstances
��� c) Under no circumstances
��� d) An act of war
��� e) All of the above

Your human's value is limited to:
��� a) Providing food
��� b) Providing water
��� c) Letting you out
��� d) Providing opposite-gender feline companionship
��� e) Leaving you alone
��� f) All of the above; if properly trained