Man's Guide To What She Really Means

What She Really Means

At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).

�

� You want = You want

� We need = I want

� It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

� Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

� We need to talk = I need to complain

� Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

� I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

� You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

� You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

� I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

� Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

� This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

� I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

� I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

� Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

� I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

� Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

� How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going
� � � to like.

� I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

� Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

� You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

� Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

� Yes = No

� No = No

� Maybe = No

� I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

� Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

� Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
� � � goes to sleep.

� I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

� All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're
� � � stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look
� � � at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look
� � � great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

� The same old thing = Nothing

� Nothing = Everything

� Everything = My PMS is acting up

� Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole

� I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam

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