PART TWO
The castle of horror: The MST (part 1)
This story was used without permission and should not be reproduced… but I did anyway. Bad! Bad Laura.
Sauron cackled gleefully as he switched on his laptop. He did a happy dance as he pulled up files upon files of BadFic waiting to be sent to the unsuspecting hobbits. "Gooooood Morning!" He shouted through the microphone and into the hobbit’s quarters, resulting in four loud bumps and some cursing as the hobbits were jolted out of bed. "I’m sure you’re all ready to read some fic for me this morning!"
"Like Udûn we are." mumbled one of the bed headed hobbits as they came into the commons room.
"What time is it?" yawned Frodo
"I’d say about daybreak, not that we ever know here in Mordor, if you take my meaning Sir," said Sam with as much energy as can be managed at that hour.
"What about breakfast?" asked Pippin.
"Not till after." said Sauron coldly.
"But, I… By then it will be time for elevensies!" sputtered Pippin.
"Too bad, so sad! Now into the FicRoom. Or else."
And so they went, and sat down, Sam sat on the far left, then Frodo sat next to him. Pippin and Merry took the right side of the couch in that order.
I know this is a bad fic, but I´m very young
Merry: Best get it over with.
The castle of horror chapter one.
Pippin: Oh. No. Another one about me…
Merry: Maybe you’ll be having your fifth birthday this time!
Frodo: Missing comma. No knowledge of contractions, I need a sheet of paper to keep track of all this.
Sam: Mushrooms.
Merry: Me.
Pippin: You took mine!
Frodo rummages around for some paper and a pen.
Merry: Why is he always right?
Sam: Which hobbit? The mysterious one or Pippin?
Merry: News to me!
Pippin: You’d think we’d be the first to know, being the ones living there.
Frodo: Why are you two living together in Crickhollow anyway?
They had decided that they would stay at the inn of 'The
Merry: Green Dragon
Pippin: Floating Log
Sam: Prancing Pony
Frodo: I’ll bet Sam’s right.
prancing pony' in Bree for a night or something.
Frodo: Capitalization again. By the way, good job Sam.
Sam blushes a little.
Pippin: Or something.
"This is mine" said Merry (which he was called)
Merry: Not always, some times I’m Master Holdwine or "Oy, you!"
and held up a big mushroom.
"I saw it first" said Pippin (Peregrin Took´s nickname)
Pippin: Amoung other things…
Frodo: Like Pippi—
Pippin clamps a hand over Frodo’s mouth
Pippin: Don’t EVER repeat what my sisters call me.
and took it from Merry.
Merry: That wasn’t nice of you.
Sam: That appeared out of nowhere. Do you always carry small bags with you?
When they had picked all of the mushrooms, Merry stood up, brushed the dirt of his clothes and tied the bag.
"My mushrooms!" Said Pippin, took the Bag from Merry and ran off with it.
Frodo: Now she’s got too many capitals!
Merry: Since when are they yours? We were both picking them!
Pippin: MINE!
"Stop being so childish!" he screamed after Pippin,
Merry: Yeah, what he said!
who only laughed at him. Merry ran after him.
"Wait Pippin!" cried Merry when he saw Pippin dissapear
Pippin: Why? That would hurt the pear’s feelings.
behind a hill.
When Merry almost reached the top of the hill he saw something moving in a bush on his left side. He kept running forward,
Pippin: Ignoring the bush, a fatal mistake.
Frodo: for behind the bush was a ferocious…
Sam: Puppy! Which attacked Mr. Merry and licked him to death.
Merry: Um, no. Orc maybe, puppy, no.
Pippin: You would have let the orc lick you to death?
Merry: Shhh, I’m trying to read the fan fiction.
looking at the bush, when he ran in to Pippin who stood still and they fell to the ground.
Sam: When has this happened before?
Merry: You were the one who pushed us!
***
Pippin looks star-struck.
The castle of horror chapter two
Frodo: There’s MORE?
"What is is?" asked Merry.
Frodo: Merry, Is is a state of being. It means to exist.
Merry: Explain that to him, not me
"Why did you stop?"
"L-look over there." Pippin whispered.
"Where? I can´t see anythin.."
Frodo: g. It’s missing the last sound.
Pippin: Rider! HIDE!
Frodo ducks behind the couch.
Merry scrambles under an armchair.
Sam seems torn between protecting Frodo and running for the door.
hole in the air.
Pippin is laughing hysterically on the couch as the other hobbits come out of their hiding places.
Sam glares at Pippin
"What is t-that?" stammerd Merry, eyes wide-opened.
Pippin is still laughing
Pippin: Should’ve seen! HAH! Your faces! Hehehe! Hooo!
Sam You shouldn’t have scared us like that Mister Pippin, gave me a fright, you did.
Merry: If you ever do that again Peregrin Took…
"I don´t know. I have never seen anything like this before..
Merry began to step away from the hole, while Pippin laid there, still whatching it.
Sam: Mister Frodo, it’s okay, Mister Pippin was just having a bit of fun, there aren’t any black riders around, come on, out from under the couch… That’s right, come on now, sit back here on the couch.
Pippin: Heh. Smart advice!
Pippin gets up to leave.
Sam: No you don’t, if we have to hear this, so do you.
Merry pulls him back onto the couch.
"I´ll just check what happens if you touch it." Pippin crawled to the hole and reached for the hole with a shivering hand.
Merry: Brilliant Pippin, utterly brilliant.
Frodo whimpers because of the bad grammar and the possibility of Nazgul.
"Yeah, your´e right." Said Pippin and stood up and begun to walk towards Merry.
Frodo passes out.
Sam becomes worried and tries to wake him.
Sam: Mr. Frodo?
Merry begins to grind his teeth.
Merry: The grammar and spelling is getting worse and worse.
Sam accepts the fact that Frodo is out like an underwater torch for the moment, but refuses to go out of arm’s reach of him.
Pippin: Can too!
Sam: Sounds painful.
Pippin was drawn to the hole, even tough he didn´t want it.
Merry: Even tough you don’t want it? Though luck.
"Merry! Help!" he screamed and struggled to get away from the black
Merry: Don’t say it!
hole, but Merry did not understand what happened, because he did not feel like the hole was going to suck him into it.
Merry: That’s a good thing then, right?
Sam: My mushroooooommmss!
Pippin: Nooooo!
Merry: Merrrryyyyyy!
"MEERRYY.."
Merry: YES! I did it! Hooray for me!
But his voice became quieter and quieter and then Merry could not hear him anymore.
The hole grew smaller, and Merry decided to follow his cousin, so he closed his eyes and jumped into the hole.
Merry: Therefore proving that was not me.
Pippin: You wouldn’t have helped me?
Merry: Um… It would depend, on just how black this black hole was.
End chapter 2
Pippin: Please, feel free to any moment now.
Sam: She doesn’t need to prove it to us.
I´m young and live in Sweden.
Frodo wakes up.
Frodo: Where?
Frodo: What?
Sauron’s voice crackled a bit over the loudspeaker. "You are free to go… for now. You will have to read the rest of this story next time." All the hobbits groaned. "But you may have a chance for a break if I decide to bring someone else!" The hobbits looked at each other, not sure whether to be glad of another’s company or pity the person who would be joining them.
"The verdict so far for this story…?" He trailed off waiting for the hobbits’ reply.
"I wouldn’t know, I was unconscious for a lot of it," said Frodo.
"That thing was not me," said Merry
"Glad to hear you liked it!" Sauron exclaimed.
"But!" Sam started
"What now?"
"We’re bored. There’s nothing to do after the fic and you can’t give us more fics because we’ll be useless in a short time. Could you perhaps let me have some seeds and a patch of ground to take care of? Or even a potted plant?"
"I’ll think about it, if it’ll keep you sane longer, it may be a good idea."
The door to the commons room opened, freeing the hobbits temporarily.