Visit To A Weirdly Accented Planet Revisited

by

Caroline Miniscule

��Rule Britannia��� hummed Michael���Britannia rules the waves, dee da deedle deedle dum de dee, dee, dee.��

As he stood slowly gazing round the immense clutter, it finally occurred to him where he was. This was part of the set for Rebecca Fogg�s home in Paris � the hidden room that held all her secret agent paraphenalia. Well�no�it wasn�t a set. Michael walked over and rapped with his fist on the wall � it echoed back solidly.

��Checking for woodworm?��

Michael spun around � Rebecca Fogg had entered the room again.

She looked at him with a puzzled expression. ��Are you all right, Phileas? You look positively frightened.��

Michael took offense at this. He certainly wasn�t frightened. Bewildered, certainly. Concerned about his mental health, definitely. But not frightened!

��It�s that damn revolving bookcase,�� he said feebly. ��You really should put a squeak in it, or something. We don�t want the opposition to be able to sneak up on us so easily, you know.��

��You may have a point. But really, why on earth were you rapping on the wall?��

��Oh�.�� Improvisation was failing him. Where were the script writers when he needed them? ��I�I was just wondering how secure this room really was. Indeed, how secure this house is.��

��Oh, I see.��

To Michael�s relief Rebecca nodded in complete understanding.

��You don�t have to worry about that at all, Phileas. When I took this house I went over it with a fine tooth comb. And made a few modifications of my own design, of course. This house is completely secure.��

��Of course.�� Michael ventured a warm smile. ��I should have known.��

Rebecca seated herself in one of the plush armchairs. ��How�s the face?��

Michael brought his hand up to his cheek and felt the bandage. The pain was no more than a dull ache. ��Oh, it�s fine. No more than I deserve for being so careless of course.��

��Yes�well���

Rebecca brushed her hair back from her forehead and shifted slightly in her chair. Carefully Michael brought the whisky glass to his lips and drank. ��Yes, Rebecca?��

��I just want to make sure that you meant what you said just now.��

��Um, what did I say just now?��

��About Jules.��

�Tread carefully,� Michael told himself. �There�s something wrong here.�

Rebecca leaned forward intently. ��Phileas, we need Jules. We need the ideas in his head. He�s important.��

Why was she telling him this in such a concerned manner? Why was she so worried about what he might do to Jules Verne? In the television series, they were all the best of friends! After the first two episodes, of course�.what was going on here?

��I know he�s important, Rebecca. Why are you so frightened for him?��

��Because I know you don�t like him, Phileas. Or trust him. And you have a tendency to kill people whom you don�t trust.��

Very slowly, Michael put down his glass, and laced his fingers together�.not to keep them from shaking, just because he felt like lacing his fingers together.

��I do?��

��Well, it�s the job, isn�t it? And you�re good at it.��

��Thank you. I do my best.��

��Yes�.sometimes I think you enjoy it rather too much, though, Phileas.��

�Good god,� thought Michael Praed. �What kind of a psychotic am I supposed to be?�

��Oh, hardly.�� He managed feebly.

��I�m good at my job, too.��

��Of course you are.��

�� My job is to make sure Jules produces his ideas for us, and he will. But he can�t do it with the pressure you�ve been putting on him. You�re supposed to protect him from possible assassins, not be one yourself. Got it?��

Michael swallowed hard, but his face remained its well-schooled expressionlessness. ��All right, Rebecca, I suppose I have been rather hard on the lad. I�ll �um�lighten up on him, all right?��

Rebecca smiled her customary insouciant smile. ��You�ll lighten up? That will be a sight to see.��

��Yes, well���

��Now that that�s all cleared up,�� Rebecca spoke quickly, ��what are we going to do about Fantomas?��

��Why don�t we have Jules think of something for us, since he�s so damn clever?��

��Don�t get testy, Phileas. Chatsworth is getting impatient. He wants Fantomas� head on a platter, and frankly I do, too. I don�t like being outwitted three times in a row. It does not look good.��

��Oh? You want Fantomas� head on a platter.��

Rebecca smiled again, and this time it was not a nice smile. ��Yes, Phileas, and I�ll have it, too.��

Michael picked up his glass and drank deeply. What a very pleasant situation he was in.