This application was developed by our mother as toung in cheek approach for job applications,
but our father doesn't think it's funny at all. Hummmm.
Job application for Bus Drivers & Body Guards
(Application for Permission to Date My Daughter)
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and current medical report from your doctor.
  1. Name:____________________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
  2. Height:_____________ Weight:____________ I.Q:____________ G.P.A.___________
  3. Social Security #:______________________ Drivers License:_____________________
  4. Home Address:_________________________________________________________
  5. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_____________________________ * If no, explain:_________________________________________________________
  6. Number of years parents married:___________________________________________
  7. Do you own a van?________________ A truck with over sized tires?_____________ A waterbed?______ Do you have an earing, nose ring or belly button ring?________ Do you own a van?________________ A truck with over sized tires?_____________

    (*If "YES" to any of the above, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

  8. What does "Don't touch my daughter"mean to you?_______________
    ____________________________________________________________________
  9. What does "Late"mean to you?________________________________________
    ____________________________________________________________________
  10. What does "Abstinence"mean to you?________________________________
    ____________________________________________________________________
  11. Church you attend:___________________________How often?__________________
  12. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, & Pastor?_____________
    ____________________________________________________________________
  13. Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confindential.

    (That means I won't tell anyone--ever--promise.)

    1. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded
      is in the_______________________________________________
    2. If I were beaten, the last bone Iwould want broken is my __________
      _____________________________________________________
    3. A woman's place is in the _________________________________
    4. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______
      _____________________________________________________
    5. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice first is her_______________
      *NOTE: If answer E, begins with a T or A, discontinue and leave premises. (Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
  14. What do you want to be IF you live to grow up?_______________________________
 
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DESMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.


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