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~ A Night at the Opera ~

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Wednesday 14th May 1997.

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Well, half a dozen of us took up Ross�s challenge to go and see The Phantom of the Opera. After putting down a few drinks at the Fezbah we proceeded to the private box with an excellent view but with stuffed chairs. That seems to be the norm at the Festival Theatre, 24 years without a refit. Lionel and myself played a variation of Battleship called spot the blonde in the short mini and the row behind and the box in front joined in.

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After settling Lionel back down the curtain rose and within ten minutes the chandelier got stuck above the orchestra and the curtains came back down again. Ducati Electric�s? After the restart a load of ballet dancers dressed as Bo Peep and sheep came on, New Zealand production? This prompted Lionel and Ross to make Baa noises but as Sonya pointed out later it was nice to see Ross barred up for once (ME drunk!?, NO - Ed). Lionel�s main complaint was he needed a set of binoculars to see but after the lead soprano came on big as a Goldwing with sidecar and trailer and a fifty inch bust a quick retort of "You don�t need binoculars for those" and he was happy.

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After half an hour of irritating performance and getting amazing cramp I went for a walk and returned to the box and sat on the aisle stairs. The stairs were comfortable and so they should be for $52. After trying a poor copy of AIDA and the Barber of Seville the cast attempted a Gilbert and Sullivan copy which involved seven people singing the same song completely out of sync. Pull the plug leads off your bike one night, swap �em around and see how much your engine likes it and you�ll know what my ears felt like.

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The production continued to cough and splutter, jumping from one part to another. Then they called an interval, the bewildered audience went for a break, then we came back twenty minutes later and it was over. Was that it?!! After a small clap the cast shot off to the pub while we walked away bemused. The best comment of the evening belonged to the lady 2 rows behind which was "I hope the VCR is going, the X-files are on". We could see that too and we don�t need binoculars either.

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