was different than the other tri-peds. The Zolla decided that the war-torn planet could benefit from this young man. Nearoled had been at war with the (a warrior race that was bent on conquering Nearoled) for gigaspans. The Zolla launched

and raised him as his own. By this time, "John Z. Delorean," as he was now called, had taken human form, and decided to conquer the planet. Winchester Agilthorpe, a school chum of Delorean's, knew he was special right away. "John kept saying that he was special. I guess that's what tipped me off. Oh yeah, he was always saying 'What better way to conquer Earth than to create the ultimate sports car' and stuff like that."

After climbing the corporate ladder, and many successful projects under his belt, Delorean decided it was time to take his place as ruler of Earth. Contrary to popular belief, John designed the DMC-12 sports car one night while watching "The Dukes of Hazzard." It was the one where Rosco and Boss Hogg try to frame the Duke boys. It was a good one.

There were over 70 trillion Delorean automobiles made in 1981 alone. However, in transit to Nearoled, the transport ship was attacked by the . All of the vehicles were lost, except for the automobiles that were sold on Earth.

Suffice it to say, losing the 70 trillion cars was difficult for Delorean to take. However, in the next 2 years, Delorean produced 33.333 billion cars, and successfully transported the bulk of them to Nearoled, where a treaty with the had just been signed. After hearing of the treaty, Delorean decided to return home. That's when he faked that whole drug thing. He then cloned himself, and returned to Nearoled. His clone still resides on Earth, waiting to save the planet at the first sign of danger.

Earth may miss John Z. Delorean, but do not mourn his absence. On Nearoled, the DMC-12 is still in production, and the Delorean Motor Company (Nearoled Division) is thriving.

I think that I speak for us all when I say, "Thank you

JZD Fun Facts

Did you know...

• that jzd was over 12 ½ feet tall, had 3 toes on his left foot, and his favorite food was sour cream pork rinds?
  

• that jzd was fluent in over 600 forms of communication, and participated in the yearly Bula-Bula Tribe ritual of self indulgence, which included being lowered into a vat of peanut butter and cheese puffs?
  

• that jzd could bench press over 6000 pounds, and had to legally register his feet as lethal weapons in over 50 states?
  

• that jzd's super powers were so finely tuned that he could kill with a single word? 
  

• that jzd was so upset that he couldn't fit his golf clubs into the first dmc-12 prototype, that he melted the car with his lazer vision?
  

• that jzd once carved a dmc-12 out of a 3 ton block of cheddar cheese?
  

• that after the battle of labizicus, jzd freed the amoxigraxigon people from oppression and triumphantly rode out of labizicus plateau on a 4 legged slothipus that he himself had tamed?