M.H. and Black Seventeen's Anime Reviews!
You've gotta do what you love!
Welcome to our anime review website! If you're familiar with us, you may have noticed a new look, thanks to our good friend Craig. All I can say is, graphics programs are his bitch! If you're new to the site, though, go ahead and have a look around! We've got a lot of reviews, and more get posted periodically, just to keep things fresh. Sit back, relax, and read over some of our "high-quality" *cough* reviews!
Mission Statement!- Here's why and how we're doing it! Take a look so that you're not lost.
Our contact info has finally been added, in case you want to, you know, contact us. Enjoy!
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Owners
M.H.: [email protected] or IM at MHTorringjan
Craig: [email protected] or IM at LardAlmighty
Contributors
Stan: [email protected]
Richard: [email protected]
Colin: [email protected]
Now, let's get on with it! Current review count: 219!
New Stuff!
5-7-09: Hey-hey! Only a month between updates this time, I'm getting better! I've got two new reviews for you and two new previews, one each from me and Craig! I'm bringing you straight from the presses the review of World Destruction, ANOTHER fantasy video game spin-off that just didn't do what it could, and the preview of Kurokami, an action/sci-fi series about doppelgangers. And if you don't like it, you can tell it to Queen Doppelpopalous! Craig, meanwhile, has the review of Kannad, a goddess romance series that falls short of the Gold Standard, and Slayers Revolution! You know Craig, if it's got Slayers in front of it, Craig's there!
We also have some sky-might-be-falling-but-probably-isn't news. Apparently, as you may have heard, Yahoo is a bunch of money-grubbing bastards. And on a related note, they're shutting down Geocities sites sometime in the near future. This means one of two routes of action: either we shut the site down or we sign up for Yahoo's hosting service, which gives us our own domain name and cooler toys to play with for a higher cost per month. For now, the plan is to get mhandblack17.com and rock it stylish-like. Hells, yeah, biyatches...
Anyway, like I said in the last update, we've got accounts on Animingle.com, a social networking site for anime fans! Friend us and join us for the fun! Friend him, and then friend me!
Also, Craig has put himself on Facebook, and we're considering forming a group devoted to the website! All five of you who read us regularly should join!
Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to go and toast our reviews and get sloppy drunk in celebration!
Series previews!- Contained on this page are short previews of series that we can't write reviews for yet. They aren't thorough, they aren't definitive, but they are something.
Kannagi- Craig done spoiled himself on the best before trying the rest, this was a fatal mistake when it comes to goddess romance series. Craig got quickly bored and never recovered. Final score: 4/10.
World Destruction- I'll have a sandwhale sandwich with some sand sauce and some sand-juice. Thanks, that'll be 11 sand-dollars and 15 sand-cents. Keep the change! Final score: 3/10.
Animazement report 2008! Just to show that we do, in fact, leave our apartments to do stuff besides work, here's Craig's report on our yearly jaunt in nerd-land! Likely will add more images later, once I find my own.
M.H. and Black Seventeen Do Animazement 2007- Craig flew down to NC to visit for Animazement, and here's the results of the weekend of debauchery!
Top 10 Anime Breasts- Just when you thought we couldn't sink any lower, we couldn't produce any more excess of testosterone, we have this for you to feast on! Come, join us!
We've got everything here, even a Top ten anime chicks list! The new and improved chicks list, with a couple of new faces, as well as the grades shuffled around! See where *your* favorite falls and adjust if she's not there.
M.H. and Black 17's Ten Commandments of Anime!- Now looking for volunteers to chisel these into stone, apply by e-mail to M.H. or Craig.
Top Ten Badass list- Another of our not-so-famous Top Ten lists, where we ponder the nature of a true badass and declare ten of them to be better than the rest. Because we say so.
Here's the collection of banners for the site that we've (mostly Craig) made over the years! They aren't getting used right now on the site, but if you want to use 'em, feel free!
Author's biographies- We've had a lot of questions (exactly 3) about who we are exactly. So, we decided to explain where this twisted idea of anime reviews came from, from our humble beginnings as railroad magnates to the austere ends as penniless anime geeks. Final grade: Priceless (or worthless, whatever).
# - A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z
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2 X 2 = Shinobuden- If you thought that Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist was craziness, you must watch this series and compare. Craig has learned the way of the chicken. Final score:7.5/10.
3x3 Eyes- Apparently demons who like killing things are inexplicably drawn to cute chicks. Well, that's the lesson you get from this series, anyway. And Buffy (the movie, that is). Regardless, that would explain a number of things about some of the girls I've dated. See what Craig thought of this series. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
A
Abenobashi Mahou Shotengai- Nabeshin's sinister influence is lurking behind every corner, and frankly, I love it! Take a look at my review of this series, which tries to emulate the classic parody series! Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Agent Aika-Are you still in denial about your being a girl-crazy, anime-chick-lusting pervert? Well, we've got just the anime to ease you into the hobby! Just listen to what Craig had to say about it! Final Grade: 6.5/10.
Ah! My Goddess- Been a while since we reviewed a romance series, and we were almost beginning to forget how pitiful it reminded us we were when it came to women. Then, we *had* to go and watch this series, with one of the top chicks anywhere. Anyway, check out Craig as he laments the non-existence of the goddess. Final Grade: 8/10.
Ah! My Goddess - the Movie- Really, it was inevitable that this review would get done. It was also pretty obvious who would write it. All I can say is this, if you didn't enjoy the first series or for some reason don't like perfect girls, then you likely won't like this one. If neither of those applies to you, though, then read this review to see what Craig thinks about Belldandy! Final score: 9.5/10.
Ah! My Mini Goddess- If you'd seen SD Gundam, you're familiar with the formula of shrinking stuff and making it funny. It didn't work with Gundam, but goddesses seem to make it work. Read Craig's take on it and forgive my obvious pun. Final score: 9/10.
Ah! My Goddess TV- After years of searching the internet for screencaps, original art, manga scans, poster scans, t-shirt scans, pictures of mugs, wall-scrolls, pencil boards, trading cards, and various tattoos on people's bodies in order to find any image of Belldandy that we didn't have before, the powers that be finally did us a favor and decided to make an entire new series of the most wonderful woman in anime! To hell with anyone else, we're wprshipping them! See Craig try very hard to contain his excitement. Final score: 9/10.
Ah! My Goddess Sorezore no Tsubasa- This, the most recent edition of "Unreasonably High Standards to which to hold real women," offers you one of its highest standards yet. This is *the* reason that Craig and I watch anime. Final score: 8/10.
Air Gear- I was never able to so much as stand up on roller blades as a kid, so that's one mark against this series right off the bat. Not that I blame them for it, mind you, but it certainly doesn't help their case. Final score: 5/10.
Ai Yori Aoshi- You'd think Craig'd learn not to torture himself after three or four other similar series, but *no!* Anyway, Titillate your tastebuds with this giant chunk of fanservice. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
Ai Yori Aoshi Enishi- Aoi recently fell out of the top spot of the chick list, but one can't help but wonder how long she'll stay out of there. If she wants to get that back, she might just have to sleep with some of the judges. Please? Anyway, Craig watches more of the same. Final score: 6/10.
Akahori Gedou Hour Rabuge - When all you can turn to is the darkness in your heart, you must know that there is nothing but light to make the darkness shine brighter. Or something like that. Craig channels his inner shadow. Final score: 7/10.
Akira- You know, bad enough things happen when you try to stuff a one-thousand page series of books into three 3-hour movies. But stuffing a one-thousand page manga series into one 90-minute film? The result is the equivalent of paper-cuts on your brain. See what Craig thought of this "classic" of anime. Final grade: 7.5/10.
Alien Nine- Like crossing Men in Black with Onegai Teacher, which is itself very similar to being forced to listen to Yoko Ono. Craig has two hours of his life stolen and gives you his opinions on it! Final Grade: 3/10.
All-Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku-Nuku- The story of a catgirl that wasn't really very cat-like, the robots that she fought, and the boy who loved her. Or something like that. Craig indulges his addictions (and why not?) by watching this fluffy series. Final Grade: 7/10.
Amaenaideyo- Shhhh, don't let Rumiko Takahashi know about this, or there may be a lawsuit brewing! Oh, wait, it wasn't good enough for her to care, as Craig points out. Final score: 3.5/10.
Android Ana Maico 2010- A robot radio host with less inane banter than the DJ 3000 ("Well, hot dog! We have a weiner!") and a much more appealing figure! My, what a brave new world where robot chicks will host radio programs for less pay and more motor oil... Craig gets all choked up by the series. Final grade: 7/10.
Angel's Egg- Dude, this film was so bad, we had to take it two on one. The monicker "Art Film" has rarely been sullied quite as badly as the story of a girl and her egg. Fun trivia: you cannot break an egg with your hand if you do not use your thumb. Go ahead, try it! It'll be a lot more fun than watching this film! Final Grade: 0/10.
Angel's Tail- Remember that old hamster you had to bury twenty or so years ago after its head "accidentally" got stuck inside the vaccum cleaner hose? Well, it's back, and it apparently has a crush on you. Nature and the afterlife are apparently weird like that, as Craig finds out. Final score: 5/10.
Angelic Layer- This whole fighting seizure pet trend has caught on entirely too much in Japan. At least CLAMP makes this series depart from the mold formed by Rockman EXE and similar series. Watch Craig watch the pretty colors! Final grade: 9/10.
Angel Links- Craig and I once said that the best anime series ever would require a hot naked chick in a tube. This is a step in the right direction, even without the naked chick in a tube, as Craig skillfully points out. Final score: 8.5/10.
Aquatic Language- Thank goodness Craig can make screenshots himself, because I KNOW this doesn't have screencaps anywhere online. It's nine minutes long, so you wouldn't be blamed for watching it instead of reading the review. Although, Craig slaved over a steaming keyboard, so please read it! Final score: 4.5/10.
Ayashi no Ceres- Now, before I saw this series, I thought that Magical Girl animes were all about Sailor Moon and CCS. Well, thank goodness I found this one! Be aware, though, that the badass in this one could very well burn out your eyes. Major bishie for the gals and just damn cool for the guys! Final Grade: 9/10.
Ayane no High Kick- This short OVA gives testosterone-laden guys exactly what they want in watching material: two hot chicks wailing on each other! Just fantasize they're doing it over you, and you're set for about four or five hours straight! Stan certainly was! Final score: 7/10.
Azumanga Daioh!- Series based on four-panel comics don't have the best history in the world (see: Garfield: the animated series and Garfield: the movie). Of course, if you make a show that doesn't care that it's random and jerky, then it's all good! Richard proves the point. Final score: 8/10.
Azusa Will Help- When will mankind learn that all races are equally inferior to robots? Especially in the case of baseball, where they can just be programmed to hit home runs every time. Anyway, that'll be after the institution of mandatory steroids. Craig welcomes the innovations. Final score: 7.5/10
B
Barefoot Gen- If your Tivo is always set to the History Channel, or as we like to call it, the World War II Channel, then you might want to check out this autobiographic movie set in Hiroshima. It isn't always the most cheerful portrayal (duh), but it's a damn shot more cheerful than a certain other WWII anime film we know of. Final score: 8/10.
Berserk- This one's for all the ladies who like seeing a man swing around his giant sword! No, I mean literally. In that case, it's more for the guys who like seeing a bad-ass cut things in half. Watch my pen (which is not mightier than his sword) give my opinion! Final grade: 9/10.
The Big O- I'll remind you that no, it's not a sexual innuendo. It is, however, RahXephon's crazy uncle in the attic who likes Batman *way* too much.Get the lowdown from Black, who wears that name a lot better than the series wears the color. Final grade: 5.5/10.
Black Cat- I thought that this series would have a really hot catgirl in it when I first picked it up. Then, I was disappointed to discover not only no catgirl, but the main character was a bishie! In the long-run, it turned out all right, but I think there should be a law against "cat" in the title without a catgirl. Final score: 7/10.
Blackjack- Those damned American corporations seem to muck everything up, since all Americans are inherently greedy, immoral bastards (according to anime, anyway). See what I thought about the movie and the death of Elvis.
Black Lagoon - Mister Cotton's parrot, be ready to act as badass as you possibly can! I hope you can tote a semi-automatic on your back, or you're out of this series. Craig plunders, rapes, and pillages. Final score: 9/10.
Blood: The Last Vampire- The art department must have been the only thing getting funded for this film, since characters, plot, and... oh, I don't know... substance was somewhat short in this weaker link of the Vampire hunter chain. Check out Craig's review of this movie! As a side-note, D could kick Saya's ass any day. Final Grade: 4/10.
Boogiepop Phantom- The mind-fuck-esque mood piece feels like anepisode of the X-Files, only without that whole government conspiracy crap. And with fewer crappy replacement agents halfway through. And with much less of a Fox feel to the plot. See what I thought of this eerie series! Final score: 8/10.
Bottle Fairy- Although you won't see these bottle fairies getting oxyale for any wandering warriors, you very well may instead... be touched by them. (Awwwww!) Craig has his icy reviewer's heart melted, if only for a half-hour. Final grade: 8/10.
Bubblegum Crash- When eight episodes wasn't long enough, they decided to continue not making an entire series by adding three more episodes. Apparently, it would take them eight years to figure it out. See what our resident dubbie thought of the addition! Final Grade: 7/10.
Bubblegum Crisis- Japan must be downsizing. I mean, they went from giant frickin' robot suits in Gundam to these dinky little hard suits. I mean, you could flick your fingers and break the damn things! Anyway, Stan watched the series, so see what he thought of it! Final grade: 9/10.
Bubblegum Crisis 2040- Seems like a day can't go by where Stan won't watch three hot chicks in metal suits wail on some poor, unsuspecting killer robot, the sadistic bastard. Watch as he ogles Priss over and over again! Final grade: 10/10.
Burn Up W- They're making a play here for the surprisingly large population of anime fans who enjoy burning anything - wood, paper, cats, anything - despite the fact there's no fire in the series. Craig is thoroughly unimpressed with the burning. Final score: 3.5/10.
Burst Angel- Anime has been trying for years to come up with the perfect hot-chick-with-guns formula, and it may have finally come across it! Just add in some random cooking, and a secret society, and there you have it! Craig is pleasantly surprised. Final score: 9/10.
Buttobi CPU- A lemony robo-romance with cuteness in great abundance. Really, why couldn't Chobits have had this many sex scenes? Craig takes a look at it and gives his opinion. Final Grade: 6.5/10.
C
Chi's Sweet Home- Craig's been known to be a sucker for cuteness (see: Bottle Fairy), but combine it with cute adorable fluffies, and he's on cloud nine! Final score: 9/10.
Chobits- Another anime to remind you exactly how much you hate your life, assuming you're single. Craig reviews with a bucket to collect the drool. Final Grade: 9/10.
Chrno Crusade- Well, this nun can't fly, but she can shoot stuff with large fire-arms! That's got to count for something, right? Take a look at my review of the new demon-hunting series. Final Grade: 7/10.
Cowboy Bebop- If you've seen this series, then you won't have to read this review. If you haven't seen this series, don't waste time reading this review and go watch the series now. Under penalty of death. But Craig did go to the trouble of writing it, so you probably should read it after all. Final Grade: 10/10.
Cowboy Bebop: Knocking on Heaven's Door- Hey, the fans ask for more, give 'em more! If they demand that you pimp that series like a cheap hooker, then you pimp it like a cheap hooker! While this strategy usually results in disaster, it seemed to work fairly well in this case. See what Craig thought! Final Grade: 9.5/10.
Crying Freeman- The mafia just isn't as full of manly men like it used to be. I mean, now, they've got a mafia head who *cries* every time he kills somebody? What's next, needlepoint after a shake-down? Anyway, the anime turns out a lot better than that idea, if only because of the sex and violence. Final Grade: 8/10.
D
Dai Mahou Touge- If Quentin Tarantino and Nabeshin had a baby, and it was an anime series (and if that was naturally possible), then it very likely would be this series. Only with a lot less "cool." Craig needed psychotherapy after watching this series. Final Score: 7/10.
Darkstalkers- If you like making pixelated figures pound the living crap out of each other to a synthesized soundtrack, then you might actually remember doing some of that while you watch this series! Otherwise, there's not much to this series. And, as Craig is quick to point out, there is a hot succubus and a cute catgirl, which makes it not a total loss. Final grade: 5.5/10.
DearS- As evidenced by Onegai Teacher (and less so by Onegai Twins), hot alien chicks are not in my future. This series rubs it in even further. See what I thought, regardless of my personal feelings! Final score: 7/10.
Death Note- I think that every human being has wanted to kill someone at some point. For me, it's always been John Travolta (as if Battlefield Earth wasn't bad enough, then Grease!). For Light, it's... oh... almost anything that moves. While most of us have to rely on the messy efficiency (and forensic trail) of a gun, Light gets a damn book. I feel cheated. Final score: 9/10.
Demon Fighter Kocho- If you've been waiting for another title that you can watch that's as close as you can get to hentai without being seen as a total pervert and an outcast of society (we're used to it, really), then Craig's got the OVA for you! Final score: 5.5/10.
Detatoko Princess- Bring your milk, whipped cream, and powder mix along, because you're going to be force-fed a lot of pudding for this one! Craig gained ten pounds just watching it. Or maybe that was the lack of exercise while watching it. Final score: 6/10.
Devil Hunter Yohko- Cute girls hunting and killing demons in tight, revealing outfits? Wow, sounds kind of familiar! Well, it's more than that, but read Craig's review to see what he has to say about it! Final Grade: 7.5/10.
DiGi Charat- If you give a ferret one of those really big pixie sticks and watch him for the next five hours, this is about what you'd see. Frenetic hi-jinks are sure to ensue (as well as numerous shiny things disappearing). Craig strains to keep up with the bouncing here. Final grade: 6/10.
Dirty Pair- With that sort of name, you'd expect a pretty interesting hentai series. Fortunately (or unfortunately, however you prefer to look at it), it's a bit more family-oriented than that. Craig elaborates. Final grade: 8/10.
Dirty Pair Movies- I know, it sounds like a nice lesbian porno series, right? That's how they make their money; as long as they don't change the title of the series, they just keep making money off of unsuspeting perverts! Craig encourages all of you to call the BBB in protest.
DNAngel- Genetics: everyone knows it can make you bald, fat, and maybe even stupid. So, why not a magical thief-angel? Show that, and you can just write your name on the damn Nobel plaque, 'cause it's yours. Final score: 6.5/10.
Doki Doki School Hours- Those of you in high school don't want to be there, and those of you who've finished it don't want to go back. Why, then, would they make a series that nobody wants to watch? Craig sleeps through History class. Final score: 5/10.
Dominion Tank Police- Do you miss the 80's, with its rock and roll, mile-high hair, and large-breasted catgirls? Well, this is the series for you! See how much Craig drooled over the Puma twins! Final grade: 7.5/10.
Dragon Half- History has shown that most examples of inter-species breeding don't work. Dog and cat. Human and tomato. Tom Cruise and Nichole Kidman. However, for once, it's nice to see that the abomination of a child of a human and a lizard can not only work out, but with hilarious results. See what Craig thought of the experiment! Final score: 7/10.
E
Eiken- .......... Ummm, was I supposed to be writing an intro or something? Sorry, my mind was on jello for some reason. Anyway, check out this series that Craig couldn't give the Golden Ass to because he gave it something else! Final grade:1.5/10.
Elfen Lied- Yeah, the elves in Lord of the Rings were hardly this blood-thirsty. Morbidly cute is the only way that you can accurately describe this series, based kind of on a German poem. Read my thoughts on all the red ink! Final grade: 7.5/10.
Elf Princess Rane- If you're up for short OVA's with little point and lots of laughs, then we're more than ready to accomodate you! We always complain about not getting elf-chicks for ourselves, but now the series is just plain mocking us! Final score: 6.5/10.
End of Evangelion- I'm sorry, but some kids' drawings and disjointed lines are not going to be enough to give a series like this an ending. No way, no how. This movie, however, fixes the problem admirably. Take a look at what I thought of it! Final Grade: 9/10.
Erementar Gerad- Do you watch fantasy anime series? Great, then you probably don't have to watch this! Your precious time might be better spent watching sCRYed again, or perhaps Mai Otome! Although it's not bad, there are certainly better series. Anyway, read my review for more in-depth coverage. Final score: 6.5/10.
Excel Saga- Craig peeks at this piece of comedy fluff series and tries to maintain his sanity underneath the pile of Puchuus. You'll laugh! You'll cry (a lot, mostly from laughing so hard)! You may even kiss twenty plus bucks goodbye! Final Grade: 8.5/10.
F
Final Fantasy: Advent Children- I know there's not many of you who haven't already seen this movie, but please, humor us. Colin worked very, very hard to put together a good review, so do read it and enjoy it! Final score: 7.5/10.
Final Fantasy: Unlimited- if you're really, *really* jonesing for some chocobos while waiting for the next game in the series, take a look at this series. You won't be disappointed in that respect, at the very least. I finally did a review! Final Grade: 7/10.
FLCL- Does Gainax always go out of their way to fuck everyone's minds who watch their stuff? Do they enjoy hurting their fans?! WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US?!?! Apparently, they want us to keep watching their stuff. Craig will gladly oblige them, and then tell you what he thinks. Final grade: 8/10.
Full Metal Alchemist- And you thought that Alchemy went out with the advent of real chemistry! Ha! Square defies you with this new series (which is completely unrelated to Final Fantasy, surprise, surprise)! Take a look at my review of the next big thing in America! Final grade: 9.5/10.
Full Metal Alchemist: The Conqueror of Shambala- Okay, so we've got homunculi, check, chimera, check, evil alchemists, check. Now, we're missing some type of villain... Can't quite think of it... Hey, I've got it! Nazis! It apparently is Springtime for Hitler in this movie followup to Full Metal Alchemist. I sense that Craig is only somewhat amused. Final score: 7.5/10.
Full Metal Panic! - Undercover army guys, giant robot battle suits, a hot chick, and unmitigated violence? It's gotta be anime! Richard, the new guy casts his eye on all the goodies! Final score: 9/10.
Fushigi Yuugi- With the most pretty boys this side of Weiss Kreuz, it'd seem like just fodder for rabid fangirls. Speaking as a fanboy, though, Craig's found more to it than first glance suggests. Final grade: 9/10.
G
Galaxy Angel- Have you ever wondered what large breasts would look like in zero G? Well, you won't get it here, unfortunately. There's too much gravity here, but one could hypothesize that it would be somewhat like a lava lamp or a water bed. Anyway, see what Richard had to say about this space-romp. Final score: 8/10.
Gankutsuou- Classics with modernized remakes have traditionally been doomed to failure (see: almost any remake of Romeo and Juliet ever), but if the people making it actully *understand* their subject, it can work out. Apparently, you can even get away with throwing in space-ships, aliens, and ghosts, and the Count of Monte Cristo works! Watch me get my vengeance on this series. Final score: 9/10.
Gantz- Just when you thought that alien-hunting was all about Will Smith dressed in a tux and shades, these spandex-clad sadists come along to show you the new way of things, with all the decapitatons that it entails. Watch as I am fairly impressed. Final score: 8.5/10.
Geneshaft- Here, I thought this was going to be an anime series about an intrepid molecular biologist, fighting to solve the riddle of the Mystical Gel Electrophoresis of Azaan. I guess space action series works well enough. Craig headbangs to the soundtrack. Final score:6.5/10.
Genshiken- Ah, the glammorous world of an otaku! Spending every penny you own on Pocky, anime music, and DVD's! Pulling all-nighters to finish the last half of series that you don't even like all that much! Learning another language so that you can understand exactly what the girls in the hentais are moaning! Or is that just me...? Anyway, this series chronicles something similar to that. Watch me watch myself. Final score: 8.5/10.
Genshiken 2- The views expressed by the otaku in this series do not necessarily reflect those of the staff of M.H. and Black Seventeen's Anime Reviews. Any complaints should be directed to Kanji Sasahara, and not to us. So there. Final score: 7/10.
Geobreeders- You know, I first thought this was a veiled reference to pokemon (Geodude bred to Geodude gives... what...?), ubt then I found out there was a catgirl and I didn't care anymore. Unfortunately, looks can be decieving, as Craig has repeatedly found out on the topic of catgirls. Final score:6/10.
Get Backers-Are you tired of watching two muscle-bound behemoths staring at each other for five episodes on end while they're waiting for an attack to power up? Not naming names or anything (DBZ). Well, this series does so much more than that. See what Craig thinks of it! Final Grade: 8/10.
Ghost in the Shell- Do robots dream? Well, Japan seems to think that they do an awful lot, and they've got a franchise to argue it with pseudopsychology and pop philosophy! And lots and lots of ass-kicking! See what Craig thought of the existentialism! Final Grade: 6.5/10.
Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence- Mamoru Oshii's unflinching dedication to maintaining two separate continuities for this franchise rivals even Tenchi Muyo's sense of confusion. Add to that the heavy philosophy, and you've got even more Ghost in the Shell fodder. See what I thought of the film! Final Grade: 8/10.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex- For those of you who saw the movie, expect more of the same. Except that it has nothing to do with the movie. Yeah, it's one of those weird, "Dallas-Who-shot-JR" sort of things. Go figure. Read Craig's review of this new bit of impressive eye-candy! Final Grade: 9/10.
Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society - I've always wondered what goes into making the title of animes before. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I've got to say that calling something a "Solid State Society" makes absolutely no sense (except for when you've watched the movie). Come and read to see what I thought (as if you needed to ask). Final score: 9.5/10.
Golden Boy- I never knew that dropping out of college could get you as many women as Kintaro Oe does in this tale of a wandering pervert (a man after our own hearts!). To hell with educational standards, then! Watch Craig take down notes on Kintaro's techniques in this review. Final grade: 8.5/10.
Golgo 13 - The Professional- A hard-core assassin through and through, he likes his women like he likes his coffee: naked. This is the sort of movie that gave anime the reputation for ultraviolence, and we love every minute of it! Except the CG. Just listen to Craig. Craig's Final score: 8/10.
Golgo 13: Queen Bee- The debate as to which spy or assassin would win in a fight, Bourne or Bond is moot as soon as anyone adds Golgo 13 into the equation. Craig knows a winner when he sees it, and he's got fifty on Golgo. Final score: 9/10.
Grave of the Fireflies- The unmistakable message of this film isn't something quite as contrite as "War is stupid," although that is true. This depressing classic (at lesat I think so) war film shows the more innocent side of war, through normal people's lives. Not much to joke about here. See what I thought! Final grade: 9/10.
Grenadier- if you combine two of our favorite things in anime series into one, you'd actually probably get a hot vampire catgirl with large guns. This is about as close as we're going to get, I think; large breasts and big guns. See what Craig thought of the hot-chicks-with-big-guns formula! Final score: 6.5/10
Gungrave- In the long line of anime based on video games, there has finally been a specimen that succeeded in surpassing its source material in quality! Sheer badassness meets complex characters and interesting storyline, and this is the result of their sweet, sweet lovin'. See what Craig thought. Final grade: 9.5/10.
Gunslinger Girls- In this era of gratuitous violence and unnecessary bloodshed, it's always comforting to see a series contribute to the message of love, tolerance, and... Wait a sec. Craig says I've got the wrong review. Well, you see what he has to say. Final Grade: 7/10.
Gunsmith Cats- It's kind of like Noir! Only without the cool music. And the style. And the hot chicks. Okay, so it's not like Noir at all. Look, it's better than I make it sound, just take Craig's word for it. Final Grade: 8.5/10.
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.hack//sign - Yes, I actually got around to writing a review! And yes, you're supposed to pronounce the "dot." According to the manga, anyway. If you live off of video games, this series is perfect for you. If you're at all foggy about jumping into the series, though, you might want to read this before spending $100+ to get the entire series. Final Grade: 8/10.
.hack//Dusk- You've watched the other series. You've played the games, all four of 'em. You've read the manga (in which case you basically already know what this series is about). Now, watch this series and evaluate what the change in mood does to the often-dismissed epilogue series of the .hack/ saga. You might want to read my review first, though. Final Grade: 5.5/10.
.hack//Roots- Apparently, Bandai thought there was still some blood in this turnip, and have proceeded to squeeze it for all it's worth, and then some. After an unsuccessful second series, manga, and pair of novel releases, they're going back to the proven money-makers, anime and video games. Watch as I am not impressed. And no matter how much I dislike the anime series, yes, I will play the video games. Final score: 5.5/10.
Haibane Renmei- I never really enjoyed watching Della Reese's adventures as an angel. Not necessarily because it was Della Reese so much as the fact that it was on Pax and I'm against Pax by principle. This version of the angel story is much more tolerable and a lot more interesting, if my review may say so. Final score: 8/10.
Hanaukyo Maid Tai- You know, there just gets to a certain point where you have to ask "how much is too much fanservice?" Craig does that very thing while trying not to get too many nosebleeds. Final Grade: 5/10.
Hanaukyo Maids Tai: La Verite- If watching five-hundred thousand maids fight over one guy for an hour and a half wasn't enough for you, then feast your eyes on this! Even more uber-harem action awaits you! Final grade: 8/10.
Hand Maid May- Now, this is one series that doesn't have enough fanservice. A healthy helping, but not enough. Craig sneaks a peek at another maid's undies. Final Grade: 8/10.
Happy Seven - when ghost busters are not available and an evil spirit is threatening all that you know and love, apparently the next best choice is a bunch of high schoolers who think that a Ouija Board is fer-real. Craig channels his inner critic (apparently, it's Ebert). Final score: 2/10.
Hayate the Combat Butler- If you thought that Excel Saga had obscure anime references that only otaku would get, you haven't seen a damn thing yet. Random humor with obscure backgound is the specialty of this ES-wannabe, as Craig finds out the hard way. Final score: 7.5/10.
Heat Guy J- Well, they're half-way there, having an android cop. Now, if they could just make it an android chick cop, I'd be a lot more willing to go along quietly. Final score: 7.5/10.
He is My Master- As a dork, I've always felt it's not fair that the assholes always get the cutest girls. This particular anime series has reminded me of how true that is and how much I hate those sorts of assholes. That idea is only one of the many reasons we gave this series the Ass! See how much Craig hated this anime! Final score: 2/10.
Hellsing- Craig says that he doesn't like Vampires. Why is it that I find it hard to believe? He takes a look at this badass-fest and tries not to ogle Ceras for too very long. Final Grade: 9.5/10.
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni- Psychotherapy has made such great strides in the past fifteen and twenty years. Maybe they should inform the cast of this series. In the meanwhile, I'll bring my poncho, because it's messy like a Gallagher concert in there! Final score: 7/10.
Howl's Moving Castle- After all the movies he's made, one would expect Miyazaki to have a home similar to this castle. Which is why nobody sees him outside of movie award ceremonies and arranged interviews. It really all does make sense, as Craig proves mathematically. Final Score: 8.5/10.
Hyper Dolls- Apparently, somebody lost track of the Hyper Guys in the production of this series. Regardless, I can tell you that these aren't the fun type of dolls (get your mind out of the gutter!). Craig is super-bored. Final score: 5/10.
Hyper Police- This catgirl anime tries to deny that it's about the catgirl. We know better, though. Craig drools more than a little bit as he reviews this series. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
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Idol Fighter Suchi Pai- The only reason to play a "strip" anything game is to see the hot eye candy chicks get naked. I guess if you're that hard-up for naked chicks, that even mahjong is bearable. But no matter how hard-up you are, an anime series based on it is just wrong, as Craig points out. Final score: 1/10.
Ikki Tousen- Host chicks wailing on each other is always a guaranteed seller, but the fundamental question that should be asked is this: how big are you going to make their breasts? Plot? Apparently, nobody cares. Craig, however, does. Final score: 5.5/10.
Irresponsible Captain Tylor- You think you're hot stuff because you can BS your way through a Biology paper? Try BS'ing your way through space command! Tylor's got you beat every time! Check out Craig's review of this space comedy in the tradition of SpaceBalls. Final Grade: 9/10.
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Jewel BEM Hunter Lime- The Japanese always have trouble coming up with simple names for their series or the special moves in their series, as is evidenced by this short OAV. Check out what Craig thought of this cute monster anime series (which has absolutely nothing to do with Pokemon. Final score: 7/10.
Jungle de Ikou- Now, we love us a pair of good breasts, but when they get to be this big, it gets to be a bit ridiculous. Turns out, they meant it to be that way, imagine that! Take a look at what Craig thought of this magical girl parody! Final grade:7/10.
Jungle Wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu- Think Afghanistanimation. Only from Japan. And not in the movie "Super Troopers." This is what you get. Craig takes a look at this thoroughly confusing series. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
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Kakurenbo- This anime serves a great purpose for society, teaching kids that the world outdoors is a dangerous, threatening place and that the only way they can stay alive long enough to attend cram school is to spend their time playing video games instead of exercising outside. I commend their efforts for furthering childrens' development. Craig himself was reminded of the reason he never leaves his house. See what he thought! Final score: 8/10.
Kamisama Kazoku- Descartes said "I think, therefore I am" as evidence for God's existence. I think that bloomers, a nice garden patch, and the girl next door are evidence enough without all that existentialist crap. Craig apparently agrees, although half-heartedly. Final score: 6.5/10.
Kare Kano- whatever you call it, you'll most likely enjoy this wacky romance anime with more introspection than the average visit to the psychiatrist. Hideaki Anno's got his name written all over this series, as I point out in the review. Final Grade: 9/10.
Karin- Just when you thought that the good badass name of vampires couldn't be besmirched any further after Tsukuyomi, you get something like *this* with the moe version of the famed creatures of the night. I watch and try to avert my eyes from the loli fanservice. Final score: 6.5/10.
Kemeko Deluxe! - I know, it sounds like "neko," which is more what you would expect from Craig, but that's beside the point. He finally found an ecchi series besides Love Hina that he enjoyed! Final score: 7.5/10.
Kiddy Grade- Did anybody think that making *another* space action series was a bad idea, when half of them really aren't that good? Nobody thought to tell these guys that. So, in the end, Craig had to suffer. Find out how he feels about suffering. Final score: 4.5/10.
Kogepan- Come one, come all! Gaze in wonderment on the face of one of the worst anime to be reviewed on this page! Marvel as bread talks about bread! Gaze in wonderment as absolutely nothing else happens! Be in awe of the utter BREAD of it all! The first winner of our award, "The Golden Ass" award! Final Grade: 1/10.
Koi Koi Seven- While the series has very little to do with pretty orange fish, it has a lot to do about sucking. Royally. Craig suffered through it so you don't have to. Final score: 1.5/10.
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Laputa: Castle in the Sky- Stabbing social satire was about the furthest thing from Miyazaki's mind when he made this movie, although the final product is still memorable and a classic film! Read as Craig goes into the wild blue yonder! Final score: 8/10.
Le Chevalier D'Eon- The story of an action transvestite who changed the course of history. They really missed the mark with the dub by not casting Eddie Izzard as the voice of D'Eon. I comment on what shades of lipstick go best with a suit of armor and sword. Final score: 8.5/10.
Leave it to Piyoko- Ah, the madcap humor styings of DiGi Charat boiled down into short vignettes about Piyoko... But what's this? Characterization and plot? How dare they! Craig is not quite as amused as before! Final score: 4/10.
Legend of Basara- Just when you think you're sitting down to another generic fantasy snooze-fest, you're shocked to discover that things are not as they appear. You are about to enter a dimension not of hot elf chicks and goblins, but of mind. Craig has just entered the Twilight Zone. Doodoodoodoo-doodoodoodoo... Final score:7/10.
Legend of Black Heaven- I like Rock'n Roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baby. Yes, I did say that I love rock and roll, so please come and take your time and dance with me. And maybe blow up a couple of spaceships while you're at it. Final score: 8.5/10.
Legend of Lemnear- Note to anime makers around the world: breasts do not an anime make. Ratings, they may make, but not an anime. Lessons on plot development and characterization on sale at the door. Just see what Craig had to say on the topic. Final score: 6/10.
Love Hina- A sweet tale of baths, breasts, and beat-downs in a small-town hot-springs inn. I take a look at this romance anime that's severely overladen ith cute chicks. I'd be willing to take some off of their hands if they need me to... Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Love Hina Specials- How many romance series do Craig and I have to watch before we realize that they just leave us as lifeless husks of our former selves? At least this one leaves us with a healthy sense of bitterness towards Keitaro. Watch me beat the crap out of him. Final grade: 8, 6.5/10.
Love Hina Again- I don't know why we keep doing this to ourselves. We watch the romance series and we always cry afterwards. It just isn't fair, dammit! Anyway, I watched the OVA, and here's my review of it! Final grade: 7/10
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Macademi Wasshoi!- Harry Potter, eat your heart out! And I assure you, if there had been more cat girls in it, they would have had even larger sales numbers for the eighth book in the series, "Harry Potter and the Hairball of Crathor." Anyway, Craig giggles a lot at the series. Final score: 7.5/10.
Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto- Craig's gotten into trouble again thanks to his insatiable lust for catgirls. Thankfully, neither this series nor UFO Princess Valkyrie (or its sequel series, which neither of us are going to watch) are enough to scare him off of catgirls. See his lambasting here! Final grade: 2/10, Golden Ass.
Magic Knight Rayearth- What is it about high school girls that makes them so darned likely to get magical powers? Why can't a dorky college graduate get them for once? And then work with hot college graduate chicks who have them? I never get my way... Neither does Craig, apparently. Final score: 8/10.
Magic School Lunar- For once, you might actually be better off watching the series than reading the review, time-wise. You might not be as entertained, but it will take less time. See Craig's thoughts on the subject. Final score: 6/10.
Mahoraba- So, you like romance series with tough girls? You like romance series with reticent, mysterious girls? You like romance series with cute, bubbly girls? Well, they couldn't afford to make one with each of those in it, so they rolled them all up into one character. What do you want, they only get 26 episodes! I watch and try to keep track of the personalities. Final score: 8/10.
Mahoromatic- Really, how many robotic maid superweapon animes do we need in this world? One more than there already is, according to Gainax. Really, isn't this shtick getting a little bit old? Read Craig's look on this series. Final Grade: 5/10.
Mahou Sensei Negima- They just keep making the harem animes younger and younger these days! And now, apparently, you don't have to own a big house or a fancy car to get 31 chicks lusting after you. You just have to be four feet tall and look darned cute in a bow-tie! I wish I'd known that back when I was ten. Anyway, watch Craig wave his reviwing wand in less than obscene gestures. Final score: 9/10.
Mai HiME- How many magical girls does it take to save the world? A hell of a lot, according to this series, as well as its sequel, probably. Anyway, take a look at my review of this genre-shaker! Final grade: 9/10.
Mai Otome- I saw a peanut stand, heard a rubber band,I saw a needle that winked its eye. But I think I will have seen everything when I see a maid fly. I've seen it, and I'm not as impressed as I should be. Final score: 7.5/10.
Martian Successor Nadesico- The only series we've done that I haven't seen a single minute of. In all probability, the screencaps reflect that. Just overlook that, and you'll have a good enough time. I'm assuming that, having seen the whole series, Craig can tell you well enough. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya- You know, if the world went exactly the way that I wanted it to, there would be an army of hot anime chicks at my beck and call. And mandatory viewings of UHF once a month. Unfortunately, it isn't, so all I can do is watch anime like this. Final score: 9/10.
Melody of Oblivion- If monsters took over my town, call me crazy, but I think I'd notice. How these people forgot that sort of thing is far beyond me. Anyway, it's a good enough excuse to make a Gainax anime series with mind-fucking and large-breasted chicks for my liking! See what I thought of this magical journey! Final score: 8.5/10.
Melty Lancer- When I teach a class, I like to cover all different phase transitions, and as such am eagerly awaiting the sequels Condensationy Lancer and Sublimey Lancer. Craig stops the world and meltys with them. Final score: 6/10.
Mermaid's Forest- Splash, this isn't. The Little Mermaid, this isn't. Rumiko Takahashi's short series, it is. Craig watched this series while eating some cod filet, just fo the right effect. Final score: 8/10.
Metal Fighter Miku- One would expect Stan to be all over a series about hot chicks in hard suits wailing on each other, but Craig beat him to the punch (thank you, thank you! I'll be here all night!). And while hot chicks wailing on each other is an appealing thought, it didn't translate all that well this time. Final score: 5.5/10.
Metropolis- As if we hadn't already shown how great of an artist Doc Tezuka is, here's another example: he did I, Robot about 50 years before they made the movie! In manga form, granted, but that's beside the point. Anyway, see what Craig thought of the film! Final score: 8.5/10
Midori no Hibi- When you think romance anime, you think a lot of girls, one guy. Okay, now attach one of the girls to the guy's hand, and you've got Midori. Otherwise, it's about the same thing. Craig takes a look and has many disturbing thoughts in the process. Final grade: 6.5/10.
Miyuki-chan in Wonderland- If you remember the cutesy little Disney version of Lewis Carol's story, or even if you read the actual book, you may remember that there were some characters that weren't hot chicks. CLAMP respectfully disagrees. Craig appreciates their disagreement, as do most ecchi anime fans. Read as Craig elaborates! Final grade: 7/10.
Monster- The Fugitive was a series before being made into a movie, so I think this series should be made into a movie, as well! Starring Harrison Ford! With lots of hair dye! And some makeup to make him look really young. The poor guy's getting too old.... Final score: 9/10.
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Najica Blitz Tactics- For all of you who hadn't had enough of Agent Aika, here's another little bit of secret agent panty fluff. Gratuitous? You bet! Then again, that's exactly why we're here! See what Craig thinks of it! Final Grade: 8/10.
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind- Apparently, it took Miyazaki a while to get the hang of making his own films after Castle of Cagliostro. The inexperience showed, as it took five tranquilizer darts to calm Craig down after he watched this movie. Just see what I mean, but be ready with some aloe vera! It may burn in there! Final score: 3/10.
Neon Genesis Evangelion- It was bound to happen sometime. I just had to review this anime to explain exactly how I feel about the series. I mean, I certainly do make enough fun of it. But not because I hate it; because I... umm... I watched it. Final Grade: 8/10.
NieA Under 7- The guy who brought you the mindfuck extraordinaire, Serial Experiments Lain, and the heartwarming slice-of-life drama, Haibane Renmei, has delved into the realm of lukewarm sci-fi comedy! Meanwhile, I struggle to stay awake... Final score: 4/10.
Ninja Resurrection- What did we learn from this film? Jesus was a ninja. Also, don't trust every film that has "Ninja" in its title. Oddly enough, even though Craig keeps talking about the pools of blood in the film, he was able to find screencaps that *weren't* soaked in red ink. Check the newest winner of the Golden Ass! Final Grade: 2/10.
Ninja Scroll- Do you like large explosions, baseball, and naked women? Then, this anime has two out of the three thing that you love to do! Close to the perfect guy anime! See what Craig thought of it in this testosterone-oozing review. Final Grade: 8/10.
Noir- Have you seen the "Bourne Identity?" Then you've seen this. Kinda. It's worth looking at many times, even if you already have seen that movie, though, because it's a great series on its own. See what Craig thought on watching it! Final Grade: 8.5/10.
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Onegai Teacher- You know, if my teachers looked like this, I'd be spending a *lot* more time failing grades and less time peeking in the girls' locker room (which I don't do anyway, but that's not the point). Read Craig's review and see why she made 3 on the Chick List. Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Onegai Twins- Hold it, you mean TV and movie producers like to make pointless spin-off series to play off of the popularity of established series? Certainly is news to me... Regardless, check out my review of Onegai Twins, the newest in a long line. Final Grade: 5/10.
One Piece- A little tale of kinship for all us media pirates, a pirate story with a hint of fighting added for effect! Note: The views expressed within this review do not necessarily reflect those of us who have not seen the series (i.e.- Craig and myself). Henry Qian looks at this series and offers his opinion! Final Grade: 10/10.
Otaku no Video- When I look back at my life in about twenty years, it's going to be just like this film, a story of otakus struggling to be even more otaku than they already are. It's sad, really. Check out my review of this little bit of mockumentary fluff! Final grade: 8/10.
Ouran High School Host Club- apparently, some of our more feminine readers tire of the constant stream of testosterone that floweth from the site. So, here's our first female review writer to review the first true shoujo series of the site! Read and enjoy! Final score: 10/10.
Outlaw Star- It's about a treasure hunt in space with a couple of outlaws, a samurai, a catgirl, and a naked chick in a tube filled with goo. And the catgirl isn't even the focal point of the series! Craig ignores the catgirl for the most part, with good reason. Final grade: 9/10.
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Paranoia Agent- So, kids are getting more and more violent these days. Who wants to blame video games? Yeah, who wants to touch that powder keg? Bring it on! Or, how about the normal lynchpin, Marilyn Manson? He's obviously why kids are so damn violent these days! Or maybe communists! See my further thoughts on this anime with violent kids inside. Final Grade: 8/10.
Ping Pong Club - these people have sullied the name of the sport even more than Dan Fogler and Christopher Walken ever could. Craig throws up just a little bit in his mouth. Final score: 0.5/10; Golden Ass; Gay-tarded; Surly Captain.
Plastic Little- It's eye candy from a master of ecchi artwork, set to military adventure, or something like that. Obviously, the plot wasn't the focus of the series, so much as the breasts. See what Craig has to say about this series! Final Grade: 4/10.
Popotan- Apparently, these girls are having some sort of trouble getting ahold of a Wii, so they decided to freeze themselves to travel through time. Oh, wait, that's something else? Well, you'll still get a lot of interesting character development and interpersonal relationships. Craig enjoyed it, so you should, too! Final score: 8/10.
Potemayo- I am reminded of the words by the timeless scribe, Albert Yankovic, whom some have dubbed "Weird." Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated, fumigated, or cremated and buried at sea? Try to save a little bit of your home cooking, then a couple of weeks later, you've got a scary-looking specimen. It always happens, my friends. Craig has seen the truth of these words in this series. Final score: 8/10.
Princess Mononoke- After being greatly angered while watching Nausicaa, Craig was much more cautious with this one, watching only five-minute chunks at a time. It took him two days to finish the movie, but he did it and found it much more to his taste. Watch his sigh of relief! Final score: 7.5/10.
Project A-ko- A robot-fighting, space-ship exploding, shoujo-ai-ing parody movie, first in the series, and maybe the only one I'll review. Considered by many an anime classic, see what I thought of it and decide for yourself what it is. Final Grade: 7/10.
Pugyuru- I like the color of the sky. It's due to the refraction of light coming through the atmosphere. Air's composition determines the refractive index. Air's too polluted these days. We should walk more and drive less. Craig likes to take walks. Final score: 4.444.../10.
Puni Puni Poemi- if you thought the last episode of Excel Saga was egregious, you haven't seen anything yet! A spinoff of supremely unepic proportions, you will find yourself repelled, or you should seek professional help. We promise you this. Final score: 6/10.
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RahXephon- If it looks like Evangelion, and it smells like Evangelion... Well, it isn't quite Evangelion. This is the version you want to watch if you're not suicidally depressed. It's just plain hard to find screencaps for it, but the review's just as good. Final Grade: 8/10.
Read or Die- For those of you who think that Cliff's Notes are the best way to learn literature, comes a series that makes literary figures into villains of the day! Granted, it's good anyway, but that's hardly the point. Craig looks at this pretty little OVA. Final Grade: 9/10.
Read or Die TV- Spiderman, move over! Web-slingers are out and paper-slingers are in! Besides, can *you* make a bow and arrow out of that sticky crap you use to swing from building to building? I don't think so. Come look at Craig gush over this new series. Final Grade: 9.5/10.
REC- Now, I like a lot of actors. Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, the list goes on. But if I started referencing quotes from Ace Ventura for emotional inspiration, people would run away from me, as they very well should. For some odd reason, this girl and Audrey Hepburn doesn't do that. Final score: 8.5/10.
Record of Lodoss War- You've seen fantasy series. You've seen fantasy series out the wazoo. You watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy about five times over, and you still want more. I feel sad for you, my friends, but there is this series to indulge you! See what Craig thought of it! Final grade: 8.5/10.
Rosario + Vampire- If you thought that Ceras was the only schizophrenic vampire in anime, then think again! Rosario's got her matched for MPD and for cuteness! Craig's got the entire lowdown. Final score: 8/10.
Ruin Explorers- Usually a series with a cat/fox/squirrel girl would take about a month to get a review out of Craig (that's about how long it takes for him to stop staring at the screen in amazement). Luckily, this Slayers lookalike was shorter, so the review arrived quicker. Take a look at what he thought! Final Grade: 7/10.
Ruroni Kenshin- It's really kind of eerie how similar this is to Trigun, in some respects. Since Stan didn't mention it, I felt I should. Anyway, see what he thought of the series! Final grade: 8/10.
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Saber Marionette J- The old skool variation on android superweapon chick theme. Chobits needs to take a hint from these guys and spice up the concept a bit, if you ask me. See what Craig thinks of this one. Final Grade: 7/10.
Saber Marionette J Again- If Microsoft and Sony are going to war over hardware, then why don't they use robot chicks as the battlefield! To hell with the PS5 and the XBox Whateverthehelltheycallit! And no, Nintendo won't release anything remotely as good as them. Final grade: 6/10.
Sailor Moon Uncut: Season 1- I finally gave in to my obsession and wrote a review of what pulled me in to anime. Hopefully, I gave an unbiased opinion, but the short skirts and cute chicks may have distracted me. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
Samurai Champloo- I final proof that Watanabe Shinichiro has the most eclectic directing style in anime, he makes a hip-hop samurai series full of anachronisms and, well, hip-hop. I reminisce on Spike. Final score: 9.5/10.
Scrapped Princess- Slayers-lookalikes have yet another standard to live up to with this one! It's another "end of the world as we know it" animes, and for once, I feel fine (as opposed to mind-fucked). See what Craig thought of this one! Final Grade: 9/10.
s-CRY-ed- So many series these days are based around pretty flying colors and big fight scenes. Well, this series... pretty much fits that description. Luckily, it's got more than that, as Craig will easily attest. It doesn't earn 9/10 for nothing! See what he says!
Serial Experiments Lain- People wonder why I have such a high psychiatry bill until they find out the sort of anime series I watch. This would be the third series that I've reviewed that ends up confusing, concealing, and overall mind-fucking its viewers. Take a look and get the scoop in more detail! Final Grade: 9/10.
Shichinin no Nana- For ages, kids have wished that they could have multiple copies of themselves so that they wouldn't have to go to school, do homework, chores, etc. How practical is that, though? This documentary explores the reality of the situation. Final score: 7.5/10.
You are now entering the Hall O' Slayers!
Slayers- Megumi Hayashibara owns the rights to all anime produced and that will be produced. See the proof in this anime as Craig gives it a watch. Final Grade: 9/10.
Slayers Next- Lina Inverse and Megumi Hayashibara are back to RULE THE WORLD all over again! I don't know, but I think Craig's addicted to these things... See what he thought of this sequel series! Final Grade: 9/10.
Slayers Try- Rather like the Lord of the Rings series, it seems to go on far beyond the attention span of many fans. However, not us! Craig takes a look at this third, somewhat disappointing addition to the series! Final Grade: 6.5/10.
Slayers Movies- The obsession cannot end with just the series and specials. Craig watched all five of the movies and wrote a mass review. Take a look at what he thought at length and marvel for one last time at the wonder that is Naga's breasts. Final Grade: 7,8.5,8,6.5,4.5/10.
Slayers Special- Lina and Naga screw around some more while Naga's breasts bounce in the wind. Sound familiar? Well, whatever works for them, says Craig. Take a look at his review! Final Grade: 7.5/10.
Slayers Excellent- Lina and Naga's boobs just can't stop cutting up! Craig's got an iron grip on the Slayers reviews, so see what he thinks of this one! Final Grade: 8/10.
You are now leaving the Hall O' Slayers! I hope you've enjoyed your visit!
Sorcerer Hunters- How many times have we described the generic fantasy series? I don't even feel like doing it again. Craig can do it just as well as I can. Final score: 6/10.
Speed Grapher- After watching so many superhero anime series, I often get to wondering what my ideal superpower would be. Usually, the only thing I can decide on is that it shouldn't be something gay like talking to fish, but this time, I think I've got it. I want to be able to make rabid badgers do my bidding. First of all, it would be fun. Second of all, very possibly educational. Anyway, see what I thought of this relatively new superhero series. Final score: 6.5/10.
Spice and Wolf- So, remember that you only have to have a cooking skill of 10 to learn Spiced Wolf Meat. It's actually a pretty good recipe for low level characters. Oh, wait, this is about the fiscal theory of feudal Japan? Craig, you tricked me! Final score: 7/10.
Spiral- By Jove, Holmes, I think he's got it! Look, can we just agree to set all mystery anime in London and have a pudgy guy with a monacle as the main character's side-kick? And lots of hot chicks, of course. Anyway, read what I thought of this mystery series! Final score:8/10.
Spirited Away- So, I can imagine the pitch session where Miyazaki came up with the idea for this one: "A bath house...?" "Yes." "Of the gods...?" "Yes." "....Get Miyazaki-san his medications." And yet, even with his medications, he did it and made it work! Final score: A contested 8.5/10.
Star Ocean EX- Anime-to-video game adaptations that actually go right: one of the less-respected talk-show subjects in talk-show history. Fans of the game should be pleasantly surprised with the results. Well, the first half of them, anyway. Read as I grieve for Ashton, the poor, poor bastard... Final Grade: 8/10.
Steel Angel Kurumi- Craig just seems to be strangely affixed to robot maid animes recently. This one is absolutely no exception, either. Shoujo ai fans, rejoice, for this is indeed your desired title! About as close to the real thing as you can get without having to be 18 years (21 in Utah) to watch it. Final Grade: 7.5/10.
Steel Angel Kurumi: the Second- Apparently, .hack isn't the only series that can go from substance to fluff in a couple of episodes. On the uphand, there's lots of girls kissing, so at the very least, that might appease the loyal fans. Final Grade: 5/10.
Steel Angel Kurumi Zero- Okay, whose stupid idea was it to hire the writers of Onegai Teacher for the next Steel Angel series? Because it was a really, really stupid idea. Just see what I'm talking about in Craig's review! Final Grade: 4/10.
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Tenchi Muyo- A space opera romance that yet again reminds us how much we wish we were anime characters. It was Craig's gateway, so he was the only one who could do it justice. Final grade: 8.5/10.
Texhnolyze- In the future, apparently, they can't keep from grafting something onto somebody's arms. I'd personally rather have a laser than a crappy arm. See what I thought of this technopunk ray of sunshine! Final score: 9/10.
The Third- Of all the series set in post-apocalyptic deserts with mutants ruling over humans, this is another one. Craig's seen his fair share of them, and now, he's seen this one, too. Final score:7.5/10.
Trigun- Grab a nice big bottle of booze and take a seat for a tale of a new-old-fashioned cowboy in the personage of Vash the Stampede. Comedy, drama, mystery, action, what else could you want in an anime (besides more episodes)? Here's my formal review. Final Grade: 9.5/10.
Trinity Blood- Combining genres apparently is pretty hot right now, since aliens and vampires are usually completely separate things. Combining the two would make for an interesting conflict, since humans usually don't like either, what with the anal-probing and the blood-sucking. Thankfully, this series leaves out the former and sticks more with the latter. I comment on the correct spot to suck blood from. Final score: 7/10.
Tsukuyomi - Moon Phase- Alucard broke the mold for vampire badasses, so some wise guy decided to make a new one, one with shorter fangs and long, flowing hair in a non-threatening way. The result is a series with a memorable vampire and a less memorable everything else. See my review of the gory details! Final score: 6.5/10.
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UFO Princess Valkyrie- Craig's found another juicy one here! And by "juicy," I mean, of course, ass-juice. In Craig's own words, a fleet of catgirls wasn't even able to save this series in his eyes. Read the tale of horror of our second winner of the Golden Ass Award! Final Grade: 2/10.
Ultimate Girls- I thought Japan had declared a moratorium on ecchi superheroine series after that whole Puni-Puni Peomi debacle a while back, but apparently I was wrong. Craig watches as Ultraman gets a less-than-impressive lambasting. Final score: 4/10.
Usagichan de Cue!- No, no, it's not the long-awaited fifteenth Sailor Moon series. Nor is it a billiards-based anime series (just wait a couple of months for that). It's just more of what we love here at MH & B17's: really, really hot catgirls and bunnygirls flashing their goods! Come, join us for the joyous bounty of pantyshots! Craig certainly enjoyed himself. Final score: 7.5/10.
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Vampire Hunter D- So, no sequels are better than their predecessors? None, you say? Oh, you haven't seen VHD? Well, strap yourself in, because you're about to have your philosophy rocked, my friend! Craig takes a look at the utterly craptastic first movie in the series. Final Grade: 3/10.
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust- Yet *another* vampire hunter anime. I mean, you can't fling a dead lycanthrope without hitting a vampire hunter anime these days! Craig gives his view of this one, and *every other one* eventually. Final Grade: 9/10.
Vandread- It's like Gundam, only between boys and girls. You'd think the guys would wise up to the fact that they aren't going to win pretty quickly, but it just doesn't seem to be happening. Anyway, see what Craig thought of this series! Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Video Girl Ai- Yet *another* in the line of "dorky guy gets cute technologically-oriented chick" anime. I take a look at this anime and say what I thought of it. Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Villgust- Remember how they took the muppets and made them look cute for Muppet Babies? Well, this is kind of like that. Craig's tolerance for chibis gets tested with this one. Final score: 6.5/10.
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Wild ARMS- Well, you can't give them points for creativity, originality, or willingness to try new ideas, but at least you can give them points for persistence! See what Craig thought of this newestvideo game bastard child. Final grade: 6.5/10.
Witch Hunter Robin- I know, I can hear the Holy Grail references from a mile away. And I was a good boy; other than one tiny reference, I didn't make any myself. Take a look at my review to see what this Hellsing-esque series is all about! Final Grade: 8.5/10.
Wolf's Rain- Craig says this series was hyped to be some piece of work. I personally have no recollection of any such hype, so I may have enjoyed it more without the preconceived notions. As such, I feel that Craig did a thorough job with his review, but may have undersold the series a bit. Anyway, take a look! Final Grade: 8/10.
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Xenosaga- And you thought that Evangelion and its ilk had the monopoly on mind-fucky religious imagery! Well, think again! This video game-to-anime adaptation is calling your bluff! See what Craig had to say. Final grade: 7.5/10.
xxxHolic- I felt slightly gypped that this series didn't contain so much as a bare-chested hottie with a chest like Hevn. Luckily, before the end of the series, I was able to recover from my disappointment long enough to actually watch a couple of episodes. Final score: 6.5/10.
xxxHolic: Kei - I usually don't go out for mythology that doesn't have the head god turning into some form of livestock and kidnapping women or an incredibly metal viking ship and some form of horn. But I think I can survive if it's got a good plot. Just watch out for the flying snake limbs. Final score: 8/10.
Y
Yu Yu Hakusho- Well, Cartoon Network has to have *something* besides random Dragonball series for its afternoon line-up, right? Turns out, the answer is basically "no." See how the new guy, Stan, rates this series compared to watching paint dry! Final Grade: 6/10.
Also, don't forget to visit our host page, MH's List of MSTings, to look at the wonderful world of MSTings, fanfiction, and whatnot! Or, you could drop us an e-mail! We like to hear what you have to say! The addy is a bit further up on the page. Go ahead, we don't bite! Although we have been known to mock openly...
We're always open to suggestions, discussions, and additions or omissions!
Overarching disclaimer: Neither Craig nor I can claim ownership of any of the series reviewed here. The series and movies are all the properties of their respective owners or companies, which will be specified in the course of the review. We are in no way profiting from these reviews, nor would we even try if it was possible. The names and images of the series are being used without permission of the companies and owners, and is not meant in any way to promote or insult those individuals or groups. Just their animes, if we feel it necessary.