Chapter 86, Abba and Rod Stewart

 

"How low can ya go! How low can ya go!" The guys chanted together while Nick tried to go under the broom handle that was acting as a limbo pole. Breanna sat on the couch nursing an iced tea while Brian, AJ, Nick, Howie and Kevin celebrated. They weren't celebrating anything important. They had all become serious adults in the past few years and decided to throw themselves a party for old times sake. They used the fact that Breanna and Howie were expecting a baby girl as the excuse for the mayhem. Natasha, Eve, and Izabel had gone out shopping for "food and other things" but the guys, with the exception of Howie, knew that they were out buying gifts for Breanna. *Thump* Breanna looked up from her drink to see Nick sprawled out on his back. "That was WACK!" Kevin and Brian shouted at Nick, disappointed. "My turn!" AJ stated. "M'lady? Would you like to join me?" AJ asked Breanna. She shook her head with a laugh. "AJ? Dontcha think *this* would get in the way?" She asked pointing towards her stomach. AJ scratched his head. "Yeah, I guess. But you could always make a good cushion if I fall." He pointed out. Breanna smiled wickedly before flipping him off. "I'm hurt, Bree! Then again, is that an offer?" He asked with an evil twinkle in his eyes. "You'd nail a pregnant woman?" She questioned. "I've never done it before, but there's always a first." Brian and Nick were laughing at the conversation going on between their two friends while Howie watched with discomfort. "Well, I'd *love* to be that first, but I kinda promised someone else that I would be good." She replied, looking over at Howie. She winked at him while AJ shrugged. "Maybe next time?" He asked before turning his attention back to the 'limbo pole'. "Yeah, AJ. Next time." Breanna laughed.

After the limbo game was over, they came to the conclusion that AJ and Howie were tied. AJ had the advantage of being skin and bones while Howie had the advantage of being more flexible and sober than the rest of the guys. Before long, Kevin had the vodka bottle out. "Who wants some?" Kevin asked. Howie looked at Breanna. "When did you get all of this alcohol?" He asked her after realizing that she had barely moved into the condo the month before and was too pregnant to drink. "Why are you asking me? They're the ones who brought it over! I'm just supplying the fridge to keep that crap cold." She replied with a grin. Howie wanted to go over to her to give her a kiss but refrained, afraid she would still freak out. Instead, he winked. He walked over to join the other guys while they debated about what they wanted to do. "Hey guys, if you drink too much you can crash here." Breanna stated to the guys who stood around one of the kitchen counters where the alcohol rested. "Okay!" The replied at different times. "Izabel's gonna leave early cause she's taking Thomas to a friends house tomorrow morning." Brian replied. "Yeah, and Eve's gonna wanna go home early to take care of Sarah. She won't leave her for a night with someone else." Kevin replied as well. "Yeah, and Natasha has a dance audition tomorrow morning so she's gonna be leaving early." Nick added. "And you're telling me this, why?" Breanna asked sarcastically. "Basically they mean, 'yes, we're gonna crash here.'" AJ translated. "D?" AJ asked as he started to fill the 5 small glasses with vodka. "What?" Howie casually asked back as he took his cup. "You staying, too?" AJ asked. Howie looked at Breanna as she waited to hear his answer. "I guess." He replied, watching Breanna's face to see if her expression changed. To his surprise, she smiled.

Two hours passed before the other women returned. Kevin was in one of the spare rooms looking through the CD collection trying to find Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing". Howie and AJ were arm wrestling while holding their glasses now filled with almost pure Vodka. Nick and Brian were trying to out sing each other to Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy". Breanna laid on the couch with Howie's camcorder while she laughed hysterically at the guys. Eve was the first one to walk into the condo, but no one seemed to notice her as she ran towards Breanna's bedroom to put the gifts away in the walk-in closet. Natasha and Izabel soon followed. After four trips each, they finally had all the gifts put away. They stayed in the bedroom and tried to set up the small baby shower while the guys kept Breanna entertained in the living room. "Wait! Wait! Wait!" Howie laughed. He took a large swig of his drink, grimaced slightly, then went back to arm wrestling. AJ held down Howie's thumb while giving him an evil expression. "What are you doin, Bone?" He asked. "1, 2, 3, 4..." AJ started to sing before Howie caught on. "I declare a thumb war!" They sang together before their 'tournament' began.

"I found it!" Kevin shouted as he stumbled back into the living room where Nick and Brian continued to sing...off key. "Kewl!" Nick shouted. "I believe in miracles..." Brian began to sing. "What other CD's did you find?" Breanna asked when she noticed that Kevin had about 10 CDs in his hands. "I found the Rocky Horror CD..." Kevin began to explain. "Oh, no! You guys aren't going to sing 'Time Warp' are you?" Breanna interrupted as she pictured all five of them singing. "Hell yeah, baby! And we're gonna do the 'Time Warp', too!" Brian added. "It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right. With your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane-yane-yane-yane!" Nick sang out as he did the Time Warp dance. "Oh man! I do *not* want to know how you guys know that song so well. This is disturbing enough as it is without knowing the history behind it." Breanna commented. Brian started to remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show when one of the songs popped into his head. "No, no! Listen!! 'How do you do. I see you've met my faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman. Don't get strung out by the way I look. Don't judge a book by its cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a lover. I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transexual, Transylvania!'" Brian sang out, as he imitated Dr. Frank-n-furter while singing the song "Sweet Transvestite". "Ah, man...what else, Kev?" Breanna asked. "Rod Stewart's 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy'..." But again, Kevin was interrupted, but this time by Howie. "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on honey tell me so...If you really need me just reach out and touch me...come on sugar let me know-woah!" Howie sang out as he and AJ fought uncontrollably with their thumbs.

"Anything else?" Breanna asked again almost afraid of the answer. "Shania Twain." Kevin replied, looking down at the CD. "Which one?" Breanna questioned as she got up to put her glass away. "The Woman In Me." Kevin replied. Breanna looked up quickly at Kevin and smiled. "Any man of mine better walk the line. Better show me a teasin' squeezin pleasin' kinda time. I need a man who knows, how the story goes. He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin' Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind. Any man of mine!" Breanna sang on the top of her lungs. The guys looked out her in shock. They had never heard her sing a capella before and they were impressed. "Hmmm...I think I still got it!" She commented as she continued to walk out of the living room. The living room was still quiet. Breanna laughed to herself. "What else, Kev?" Breanna asked, walking back into the living room. "Poison's greatest hits." Kevin replied. Brian looked at Nick and laughed. "You know I never, I've never seen you look so good. You never act like the way you should. But I like it. And I know you like it, too...the way that I want you. I gotta have you! Oh yes I do. I never, ever stay out late. You know that I can hardly wait. Just to see you. And I know you cannot wait...wait to see me, too. I gotta touch you. Cause baby we'll be...at the drive-in, in the old mans Ford, behind them bushes, till I'm screaming for more. Get out of the basement, lock the cellar door, and baby...talk dirty to me!" Nick sang as he danced around. "This is getting freaky..." Breanna commented.

"What else, Kev?" Breanna asked again, this time she was truly afraid of the answer. "Selena!" He sang out, holding the CD above his head. "Oi!" Breanna mumbled under her breath. "Selena!" AJ sang out as he walked over to Kevin. Kevin looked over at Brian who was in the next room. "What's he doin' in there?" Breanna asked, but her answer soon appeared. Brian, slightly drunk, sauntered out of the den without his shirt on. Instead he had on one of Breanna's black lace bra's. "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom! Bidi Bidi Bom Bom! Bidi! Bidi! Bom bom! Bidi! Bidi! Bom Bom!" Brian sang as he tried to impersonate Selena. "Oh jeez! Bri, the poor girl is dead. Don't cause her to roll over in her grave." Breanna pleaded as she tried to hold back a laugh. "Anything else, Kev? Please try to spare me. I don't think I can take any more of this." Breanna asked. Kevin smiled at her sweetly. "I'm almost afraid, now." She replied. Kevin held up the CD so Breanna could see it. AJ leaned over to get a better look. "Monifah!" He shouted. Brian and AJ looked at each other before turning to face Breanna. "Could you, just put that thing on me. So I could just freak on you and you could just freak on me. And I will give it to you all night long, I will show your body what your lips are doing wrong." AJ sang while Brian did a provocative yet incredibly funny dance in the background, still wearing the black bra. "Slow love, just feels so good to me. Could you just move it on up, cause I'm in ecstasy. And I will give it to you all night long, I will show your body what your tongue is doing wrong." Brian sang as AJ danced. Before long both men were singing and dancing. "Do you really want to touch it? Do you really want to fuck with me tonight? And if you know how I like would you call my name and give it to me right?" They both started to sing the rest of the song while dancing. "He humps the ground even when he's not on stage." Breanna thought to herself.

"Okay! Okay! I give up! You guys win. You've tortured me to no end! Please, PLEASE stop before I go into labor?" Breanna pleaded. Howie was laughing hysterically as he watched Breanna. She really did look uncomfortable. "You okay?" He finally asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. You guys are just gonna kill me! I can't take too much more of this." Breanna replied as she laughed. Howie gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking over to the CD player. Breanna watched him pop in a CD and pick the right track. Nick had gone to get more drinks for the rest of the room and Kevin had disappeared somewhere in the condo. Brian and AJ stood next to Howie and saw what CD he was going to put in. "Hey D! Track 14!" AJ said. Howie looked down at the CD then back up at AJ with the largest smirk on his face. "Here we go again!" Howie thought. When the music started Breanna's eyes became wide.  "Abba!" She started to laugh hard as tears streamed down her cheeks. AJ started to dance slowly with the music, doing ballet moves all over the mostly empty living room. As the music picked up he started to do disco moves. Brian joined the dancing. "There's not a soul out there...no one to hear my prayers! Gimme, gimme, gimme, a man after midnight. I want some to help me chase these shadows away. Gimme, gimme, gimme, a man after midnight! Take me through the darkness to the break of the day!" Brian sang. AJ walked over to Howie and pulled him towards the center of the room. AJ started to dance with Howie as Howie laughed at his drunk friends. "Yo, Rok! Track 9!" AJ demanded. Brian did as he was told while AJ pulled Howie into a Tango. "I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay! Baby, it's sad!" AJ sang. Howie started to loosen up and sang the next verse as they continued to dance the tango. "And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me! That's too bad!" Brian soon chimed in, "In my dreams, I had a plan. If I got me a wealthy man, I wouldn't have to work at all. I'd fool around and have a ball!" Before long all the guys were singing, including Nick who barely knew the words. "Money, Money, Money, must be funny, in a rich mans world. Money, money, money, must be sunny, in a rich mans world!"

After an hour of humorous singing, the rest of the girls appeared out of nowhere. "C'mon, Bree! We got something for you!" The all said as they pulled Breanna to her feet. She still had tears in her eyes from laughter. "You too, daddy!" AJ added as he pushed Howie to follow Breanna and the other women. Breanna looked behind to see Howie's face. He shrugged, having no clue what was going on.

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