Chapter 85, Talking Things Through

 

Breanna and Nick played around for the next five minutes while everyone watched in amusement. Howie laughed as Breanna tried to use him as a human shield. Howie stepped aside just as Nick jumped at him causing Nick to grab a hold of Breanna by the forearms. "I gotcha!" He said coolly. "And your point being? You got a poor defenseless pregnant woman. You're not much of a man, Nick." Breanna replied. Nick laughed in Breanna's face. For the first time in over a year it seemed that the *real* Breanna was starting to resurface. Breanna looked at Nick quizzically as he smiled from ear to ear. He pulled Breanna towards his body for a friendly embrace but was punched in the stomach lightly. "What the...!" He stated as he pulled back. "Either she likes you or you're pissing her off. I'm guessing the latter." Breanna replied, looking down at her stomach. "Her?" Brian asked. "Yes, her." Howie answered. "So, *this* is why you wanted us all over here and to leave the kids at home? To celebrate?" Kevin asked. Howie nodded his head while Breanna watched him. "What?" Howie asked after feeling Breanna's eyes bearing into the side of his head. "You're crazy. Anyway, I'm going to go take a nap. Nick wore me out." Breanna said to everyone as she walked towards her room.

"Things are FAR from back-to-normal. Go talk to her. Right now she's tired and happy. That's the best time to talk to anyone." AJ said, pushing Howie towards the room. "Tired and happy is the best time to talk to someone?" Howie questioned. "Shuddup and take advice from the best. Now, go!" He said, ushering Howie towards the room.

Howie walked slowly towards Breanna's room. Once he was at her door, he turned to face the living room where his friends watched in anticipation. "Hurry up before she falls asleep! You don't know them pregnant women! They fall asleep at the drop of a hat!" Kevin complained causing Eve to punch him in the gut. Howie laughed slightly before turning around to knock quietly on the door. "Come in." He heard Breanna's quiet reply. Howie walked into the room to find Breanna letting her hair down. For almost the past year Breanna always had her hair up. What he saw amazed him; Her hair had grown to the middle of her back. "What?" She questioned with a slight laugh. "Your hair. It's just really long, that's all." He replied. "Hormones. Being pregnant makes your hair grow faster." She explained as she brushed her hair out. "So, what's up? You're here for a reason." She stated. "Yeah...can we talk?" He asked. Breanna stopped brushing her hair for a moment. She watched his face and realized that something was really bothering him. "Are we going to put all our cards on the table?" She questioned. "Honestly? Yes, that's what I want to do. I need to know everything, Bree. I need to know what happened to us. I need to know what happened in your past to cause you to freak out on me. I need to know what happened on tour. I want to know what happened with you and Mitchell. I just want and need to know everything, Breanna. No lies, no dancing around something. I just want to hear everything from you. We're no longer two people in a complicated relationship. We're bringing an innocent baby into this world and she deserves to have a mother *and* a father. And I want her to have parents who are still together. She doesn't deserve to have some "Hollywood" relationship where her dad played a sperm donor. I want to be a father and I want to be there for you, but we need to get past all of this shit first. Okay?" Breanna watched Howie as he paced around the room telling her his demands. "Okay." She finally replied.

Without Breanna and Howie realizing it, AJ was at the door eavesdropping, occasionally informing the rest of the room about the on-goings. "Just let me talk. If I ask you something, fine. But let me talk." Howie nodded his head and sat down on the bed. "What happened with me a Mitchell? That's easy. Nothing. One thing I never told you or anyone else is that Mitchell isn't the same as you or me. He and I were never dating. We were just friends. He's my friend and I feel like I'm violating him for telling you this but you said no lies. Mitchell is gay." Breanna stopped talking and giggled to herself when she saw how large Howie's eyes became. "DAMN! Nick, you owe me 500 big ones, buddy! Mitchell *is* playing for the other team, if ya know what I mean!" AJ whispered loudly to Nick while Brian laughed uncontrollably. "Is there a time when you guys don't bet on everything in life?" Eve questioned. Brian, Nick, and AJ looked at one another before shaking their heads. AJ turned his attention away from his friends and pressed his ear up against the door. "That's it! He was my 'advisor' throughout the entire European tour. He was the one who kept telling me to go back to you, but he was also the one who understood what I went through in life. As for the European tour, nothing happened either. I was so set on being free of you and any other guy that I never listened to my heart. I was afraid of getting hurt again. Then, when I realized that I made a huge mistake, my pride took over. Then that night in London happened. When I woke up and you weren't there, I realized that I wasn't ready to start our relationship again. I needed time to sort out my feelings, my insecurities, my career, and to figure out who I really was, before we got back together. But I didn't want you to wait. Then I started to get sick all the time. I was too worn out to think about us. The doctor told me that I had the flu, they found cancerous cells in my blood work, and then I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to put off telling you about the baby until I decided what I wanted to do with my life. Well, babies grow much faster than the ability to make decisions. Then the nightmares started. I had the same nightmare over and over again." "What was it?" Howie interrupted. Breanna gave him an annoyed looking for interrupting her but continued to tell him about the dream. "My, no, *our* daughter and I are attending someone's funeral. It turns out to be yours. I just couldn't handle those nightmares. And then when I realized that I needed you back in my life, I had to deal with my pride. Howie, you have to understand that I've never, in my entire life, ever had someone take care of me. Not even Lex. I've been so damned independent my entire life that it's hard to open up and let someone take care of me. The more I started to let you take care of me the more I realized that I was making myself vulnerable. I needed to break away from that so I guess I just broke away from us. I regret doing that now, but I'm so afraid of losing myself to someone. I'm afraid of losing who I am by allowing someone else to take care of me. Now we're having a baby. Do you know how scary that is? I don't even know who I am yet and now I'm about to make a carbon copy of myself. I'm scared shitless and I don't know what to do. And to make everything worse, I don't even know who we are." Breanna stopped talking as the tears came to her eyes. "Man, this is deep! Someone toss me a beer or two!" AJ whispered. "Move over, Bone. Let me hear! Share the wealth, man." Nick joked as he pushed AJ out of the way. "You know what? Just give us that 12 pack." AJ stated, pointing to the beer pack that Brian had taken out of the fridge. "Nah, here's the 24 pack. Move over! I wanna get in on this." Brian replied, taking a seat on the floor next to Nick and AJ.

Howie stood up and walked over to Breanna and took her in his arms. "Okay, let me be honest." He stated. "Okay." Breanna said as she continued to cry. "I'm afraid to even hold you like I'm doing right now because I'm expecting you to break away. In the beginning we were perfect. Besides AJ, you were my best friend. I told you everything and anything. I shared everything with you. My life, my family, my friends, my career, and my love. I thought that I had finally found the love of my life. But, as your career started to take off, we stopped talking. If we talked, it was about our careers. If we weren't talking about that, we were having sex. Not that I'm arguing, but that's no way to have a relationship." Breanna started to giggle slightly. "We had no communication and you were drifting away. But, I never noticed. Your past was also affecting us, but I never noticed either. Bree, I'm not like that ex you had who abused you, Logan, or whatever-his-name-is. I never wanted to take complete care of you. I only wanted to be there for you. But now? I don't know. I still want you in my arms, my life, and my heart. But, I need you to want the same thing. Things are going to be rough, but we'll get through them. You just can't keep running away from me. You need to talk to me and tell me what's going on. If something's bothering you just tell me. If you don't like what I'm doing or saying, tell me. We need to communicate. We're about to be parents, you know." Howie pulled Breanna back to look into her eyes. "I know." She said. "So?" He asked. "So?" She asked back. "C'mon, Bree." Howie replied. "I know, I know. I want what we had. I want it all back, but it's going to take me a while until I'm used to us again. It took me a year to get used to us not being together. It's probably going to take me just as long to get used to us being together again." She explained. "Take as long as you need." He replied, kissing her forehead. "So? What does this mean for us?" She asked. "I don't know. I guess we take it one day at a time?" He asked. "Yeah, I think we should." Howie and Breanna both laughed and looked down at her stomach. "Um, I think she agrees, too!" Howie stated happily as he felt the baby kick. "So? Are we going to end this conversation the right way?" Breanna asked. "The right way?" Howie questioned in return. "C'mon, D! You don't remember?" Breanna teased. "Oh, I remember! But, our friends are out there." Howie said, pointing towards the door. "No, you perv!" Breanna shouted with a laugh. "Oh!!" Howie replied, leaning in towards Breanna.

For the next few minutes it was quiet. Nick was on his sixth beer while Brian and AJ worked on their seventh, respectably. "So, should I nap or go talk to the others?" Breanna asked Howie. "Um..." Howie replied in thought. "COME TALK TO US!" They heard Brian and Nick shout. Breanna and Howie laughed as they walked over to the bedroom door. When the opened the door they found three of their best friends drunk off their ass. "Why is it that when you're involved, everyone gets drunk?" Howie asked Breanna as he put an arm around her expanding waistline. "I guess I cause people to drink." She said with a shrug. "Oh, MickeyD's is pregnant!" Nick shouted, pointing to Breanna. "Yo D! Keep it in your pants, man! The fans are gonna freak!" Brian stated. "Keep it in his pants? Shit! Judging by the size of her tits, oops, no, her waist, it's too late." AJ explained to Brian. "Like old times, Bree!" Eve shouted from the other room. "Heh, party on?" Breanna questioned with uncertainty and a laugh.

 

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