Howie awoke and looked around the room, unable to remember where he was. He heard a knock at the door and knew he wasn't in a hotel room. "Come in." He mumbled as the door opened. "Hey! How'd it go last night?" Brian asked as sat down on the bed, looking around the oversized room. "She won't see anyone, but at least I got a chance to talk to her parents." Brian stood up, "She's must be taking this really hard," he commented as he gave himself a tour of the room. "Yeah, she is." Howie said. "So, what'd you do all night?" Brian asked again while staring at all the pictures on the wall. That was one thing Brian had noticed about Breanna. Forget owning Picasso's. She was a freak for framed pictures of her friends and family. "I talked with her parents until 3am then I came back here and went to bed. What time is it anyway?" Howie asked while he made the bed. "I think it's around 3 or so. It stopped snowing by the way!" "Finally." Howie commented under his breath. He was a Florida man, not used to the cold weather. "So, did you find out when the funeral is?" "Tomorrow." "You're going, right?" Brian asked as he walked back towards the bed. "You know I'm going! She needs us there." Brian nodded his head. "Well, I'll let you get up. I'll be in the studio with Nick. He found where it's at and he's excited. Ya know him, little kid in a candy store!" Brian stated as he walked over to the door and turned the knob. "Nick is like a little kid in a candy store? See that room over there?" Howie asked pointing to the bathroom. Brian looked at him quizzically. "Yeah?" "Well, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see." Brian stuck his tongue out at Howie and continued to walk out the door.

The day went by quickly for everyone. The girls took the kids out to buy outfits to wear to the funeral while the guys went their own way to find something to wear. When everyone returned home that night, they enjoyed a quiet dinner together. They put the kids to bed early knowing that they had to wake up early the next day. Izabel and Eve finished clearing away the kitchen while the guys hung out in the living room. "I'll be seeing you guys!" AJ shouted as he walked over to the front door. "Where are you going?" Kevin asked as the rest of the guys watching with questioning faces. "To the airport. I'm picking up Mya." He replied. "She's coming? God, I haven't seen her in what seems like ages!" Eve exclaimed. "Yeah, me too." AJ replied. Everyone laughed as Howie got up to walk over to AJ. "Take my car." He replied, tossing AJ the keys. "Thanks, man! Don't wait up, guys. It's already 11 o'clock." AJ told the room as he left the house. "He's right, guys. I'm gonna head on up. We have to be up at 8 tomorrow." "At the butt crack of dawn." Nick complained. Brian shot Nick a glare causing Nick to quickly look down. The fact that it was a friends funeral they were going to had slipped Nick's mind. Everyone else in the room decided it would be best to go to bed. Brian and Izabel walked upstairs together, holding hands. Kevin and Eve soon followed. Nick wasn't tired yet and went to the game room to play a few video games. "Hey D, have you seen my blue memory card for Play Station?" Nick asked before he left the room. "Hmm? On, no. Sorry!" Howie replied as Nick shrugged, walking out of the room. Howie stayed in the living room thinking about the next day. How would Breanna react at the funeral? How would he react once he saw her? Would she let him take care of her? Howie pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he walked slowly upstairs to get some sleep.

The next day everyone ran around the house quickly looking for shoes, or ties, or pantyhose. "Hey girl!" Eve greeted Mya quickly in the hallway as both girls went in separate directions, trying to get ready quickly. "So, how are you doing?" Izabel asked. Eve and Mya stopped in the hallway as they heard Izabel talking to Breanna on the cordless phone. Izabel stopped walking down the hall and stood next to Eve and Mya. Mya wore a long black dress with a sheer back. She had her hair in a French twist and little makeup on other than concealer for her undereye circles that she received from little sleep the night before. Breanna put Izabel on hold for a moment to answer the other line. Izabel looked Mya over and winked. "You and AJ caught up on missed time I see." Izabel replied. Eve's chin dropped as Mya blushed while nodding her head. "Hello? Today is supposed to be a day of sorrow! No sex talk! Jeez..." Eve jokingly replied as she continued walking down the hall towards the bathroom to finish getting ready. "I'm gonna go do what she's doin'. Let me know what Breanna says. K?" Mya questioned as she went to her bathroom. With both women gone, Izabel continued walking down the hallway to her room where Brian was getting ready. "Is this tie straight?" He asked her. She nodded her head and kissed him softly on the cheek. "What was that for?" He questioned with a sideways grin. "Because I'm glad I'm not going to your funeral. This has made me a lot more grateful for everything I have now." She explained. He smiled slightly and kissed her back. "I'm gonna help Thomas get ready. We only have 20 minutes left." He replied leaving the room. Breanna came back on the phone. "So?" Izabel asked. "I'm doing a lot better. My family has helped a lot. I'm just gonna miss him so much! I know I have all the people in the world to love and support me for the rest of my life, but it's just going to be incredibly more difficult knowing that the person who has supported and helped me since I was born isn't going to be there." "Oh honey! I know, I know. But...you have Howie." Izabel swallowed unsure if she have said his name to her. "You don't know how grateful I am to still have him. I just hope he can handle today when I tell him." Breanna replied. "You have done a complete 360 on me in less than two days! What's up with you? Sorry this sounds so morbid, but I thought you would be suicidal." Izabel said as she finished putting on her makeup. "No, Lex told me in a dream that he wanted me to live life and be happy so I know that's what I have to do." Breanna said as she thought about her brother. "I'm glad. Well, honey! I'll see you in an hour at the funeral." Izabel replied. "Alright. Thanks, Iz, for everything you've done for me." "We're sisters and I love you. That's all, Hun. No need to thank me." Izabel said. "I know, but still, thank you."

Izabel and Breanna hung up as they smiled to themselves. Breanna had a strange feeling in her heart. "Why do I not feel sick to my stomach? Why doesn't this funeral make me want to die?" Breanna's mother was walking past her room when she heard her daughter talking to herself. "Well honey, that's probably because you're too worried about Howie and the news you're going to break to him." Breanna looked up at her mother. "Do you think being this worried could take over the feelings of mourning over one of the most important people in my lives?" "Yes. Only because Howie *is* the most important person in your life. And don't argue with me about this. I'm your mother and I know what it's like to be in love. Now, go get ready. Today is probably going to be one of the hardest days of your life. Well, today and the day when you become a mother. Birth is a bitch!" Her mother stated as she hugged Breanna. Breanna watched as her mother left the room and knew that her mother used humor to take over the feelings of pain. But, was her mother right?

Breanna put on her long flowing black dress and realized that it was too thin for the ice cold weather. She looked through her closet and found a wool coat that she had left at her parents house the week before when she was visiting. She walked slowly towards her bathroom to put her makeup on when she started crying. Where was her brother when she needed support? She realized that it was starting to hit her that he really was gone. She was dying to wake up from the nightmare that she was living but knew it would never happen. She was dying to run into Howie's arms. She wanted him to make it all better. "Honey, it's time to go." Breanna heard her father call from the bedroom door. "I'm coming, daddy." She whispered. Her father nodded his head somberly and continued to walk downstairs. "Please help me, Lex. Please?" She begged realizing that today was the end of her secret.

Breanna and her parents arrived at the cemetery earlier than everyone else; wanting to have time alone to say good-bye to Alexei. "Alexei Alexandrovich Wintersonov. Why did you have to leave me?" Breanna whispered in broken Russian. She only used his full official Russian name when she was mad or proud of him. Today, she felt a mixture of the two feelings. She knew her family was Russian, but she along with her brother were the only ones who had ever learned to speak the language. She took every Russian class that the University had to offer while she lived in California. She had followed in her brothers footsteps throughout college and throughout her life. "I know you promised me to live and I will, but when do I stop mourning and start living? I feel like I should be dying but I'm not. I feel like I should be lonely, but I'm not. And only because you have given me the strength to get through this. But who am I going to depend on after today?" She whispered in English. "Howie." She heard a woman's voice reply. Breanna spun around to see Izabel there. "I got here before everyone else did. I had Brian drop me off." Izabel explained as she gave Breanna a hug. "You're going to tell him?" She asked. "Do I have a choice?" Breanna asked back. "Not really." Izabel replied with a sympathetic smile.

Twenty minutes later Breanna watched as everyone slowly started arriving at the cemetery. The family had agreed to skip the church services because Alexei was never religious and stated if he ever died he wanted it to be small and private without the church's involvement. Breanna looked up at the sky and noticed that it was starting to clear for the first time in days. The ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Everyone stood around the coffin talking amongst themselves until the funeral started. Breanna let her jacket hang loose over her cold body as she stared at the coffin thinking a million different thoughts. She glanced up a few times to see Brian, AJ and Kevin staring at her from across the coffin. She smiled at them and continued to stare at the coffin. "Well, she smiled." AJ replied. "She's in shock." Kevin replied. "Where's Izabel?" Brian asked. "With Eve, Sarah and Thomas. I think they're helping Nick put on his tie." Kevin replied. Before long Eve, Sarah, Izabel and Thomas were standing next to the guys. Howie stood off in the background watching everyone, trying to give Breanna her space. "Nick's in the car fixing his tie. He wouldn't let us help him cause he's a man and all." Eve complained. "So, how's she holding up?" Eve asked as she stared at Breanna. "She's doing really well considering what's going on." The guys looked Breanna over and didn't see any difference. "Thank god she didn't loose weight. She'd be a stick." Eve mumbled to everyone. Izabel almost laughed but kicked herself mentally. "Where's D?" Kevin asked. "He's back there just watching." Before long a priest, a friend of the family, walked up to the coffin. Everyone stood up and surrounded the coffin as he started the service. "I thought they weren't going to have a religious ceremony." Eve stated under her breath to no one in particular. "This isn't religious. It's just a blessing of the body and soul. Her mom wanted a priest to do the service, anyway." Izabel explained. Breanna's mind was elsewhere as the priest talked about Alexei and his life. She thought about how her nightmares were very similar to what was happening at that very moment. After ten minutes, Breanna heard the snow crunching. She turned around to see tall blond man walking briskly through the cemetery as the wind blew through his hair. She almost screamed and threw herself into his arms but reality hit. "Nick." She stated in her head as she watched him join the others.