Susan drove quickly back to Xanda's house and peeled into the driveway. She hopped out of her car and ran up to the door. She pounded on the door as hard as she could but knew that it was useless. She pulled out a piece of paper, read what AJ had told her, and searched for the potted plant he had spoken of the hour before. Once she found it and had the door opened, a gasp slipped past her lips. "Oh my god..." Susan said quietly in disbelief as she tried her hardest not to step on anything. Xanda had torn the house apart. Framed photos were now on the ground surrounded by broken glass, the answering machine was smashed, her TV and VCR had been thrown down on the floor and the wall showed all the signs that many other things had been thrown. The furniture was in different parts of the house; cushions here, cushions there, and whatever clean laundry Xanda had done the day before was now hanging from the few framed photos that had remained on the wall. Susan was about to go upstairs but was stopped by a large frame on the bottom of the staircase. When Susan flipped it over she placed her hand over her mouth. Xanda had thrown down the framed Platinum Millennium record that AJ had received five years before. What caught Susan's attention was what had been engraved on the bottom of the frame: "Thank you for giving me the chance to remember what love really means. I love you, baby. Alexander" Xanda had tossed it from the top of the staircase.

****

"C'mon, man! We want to know what's up with you!" Brian complained after the show ended. AJ looked at Brian with an annoyed look. Brian saw something in his eyes that he had seen years before but it didn't register in his mind what he saw; was it some form of emptiness, maybe even regret? 'AJ doesn't regret anything.' Brian told himself as he continued to stare at AJ. "I didn't sleep well." AJ explained flatly before slamming the door to his dressing room. Like they had been doing all day, all eyes were on Howie for an explanation. "Guys, don't look at me! I know as much as you do." Howie stated as he walked into his dressing room. "I don't believe you." Brian replied after the door had closed. "I don't believe him. Could one of you please tell me what's going on?" Brian asked Nick and Kevin. "That's AJ's life, Bri. I stay as far away from his personal life as I can." Kevin explained before he too, went into his dressing room leaving Nick alone in the hallway with Brian. "Nick?" Brian asked. "Man, I dunno shit! We had a good time last night and then he woke up all fucked up. I guess I know about as much as you do." Nick said.

****

Howie walked around his dressing room absent-mindedly looking for his clothes after showering. His thoughts were on his best friends'. Things with Susan weren't clear to him at that point but she was the last thing on his mind. However, things with AJ were difficult to say the least. AJ made a mistake. A huge mistake. And he did it to the wrong person. "Man, she has ever reason to never want to see him again." Howie concluded aloud. "I'm glad you think so." He heard AJ mumble. "Yo, AJ! I didn't mean it like that." Howie tried to explain but AJ had already left back to his dressing room. "Oh, forget it!  I'm not going to bother myself with him tonight." Howie told himself as he grabbed his backpack.

He was inside the tour bus in his bunk when a thought occurred to him. He pulled out his cell phone and glanced at AJ's bunk. It was empty which wasn't common when he and AJ shared a bus. "He flew to the next city." Kevin's voice drifted into his thoughts. "I'm not surprised." Howie stated as he flipped through his cell phones programmed numbers. "D, I know you know something. Did he and Xanda break up?" Kevin asked, cutting straight to the point. "I think so." Howie confirmed as he hit speed dial.

****

"Xanda?" Susan questioned as she walked up the stairs, afraid to find something she didn't want to see. Susan was so angry with AJ that she was almost seething. How could he do that to her? How could anyone do that to her? Being drunk had nothing to do with it. No matter how drunk you are, if you are so in love with someone then you would automatically know right from wrong. What he did with that girl was wrong and AJ should have known what he was doing even if he was drunk...if he loved Xanda as much as he said he did. Susan was at Xanda's bedroom door and saw that it was cracked open and a light was on. Susan took a deep breath and pushed the door open the rest of the way. Xanda was nowhere to be seen. She took a few steps into the room and saw the bathroom door open and heard the splash of water. Susan's heart skipped a beat as she approached the door. She peered inside just in time to see Xanda put a razor up to her ankle, near a major vein.

"NO!" Susan shouted. Xanda quickly stopped and looked at Susan with a quizzical expression. "For gods sake, Susan..." Xanda replied with a sniffle and a grin, "AJ isn't worth killing myself over. I learned a long time ago that no man is worth it. I was just shaving my legs. My arms keep getting pricked every time I try to pull my legs up to my chest when I feel like crying." Xanda explained as she finished shaving her right leg. Susan let out a sigh of relief before she walked over to the toilet where she sat down. "I'm sorry, Xanda. Howie just told me what happened." Susan quietly said as she watched her friend slowly shave her legs. Xanda nodded her head in acceptance of Susan's sympathetic apology. "It's over." Xanda eventually stated. "Just like that?" Susan asked. "Just like that." Xanda confirmed as she concentrated on her legs. "I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable by talking about him since this just happened..." Susan tried to say. "Don't worry about it. I trust you. I need to talk about it, anyway."

****

Howie waited for the fourth ring and was surprised when she picked up. "Hey Mom." Howie greeted. "Hey my second son." Denise joked back. "How are things back home?" Howie asked. He sounded so cheerful causing Denise to cringe slightly. "Things could be better. Well, at least for other people." Denise replied. "AJ and Xanda, huh?" Howie asked as he settled into his bunk. "Yeah. She basically told me that it was over. You know that girl, there's no changing her mind and I can't say that I blame her. She has every right to be pissed at him. He just screwed up what could have been his future." Denise rambled. "I don't think so. I mean, yeah, he screwed up their relationship but it was falling apart. Literally. Once they were out of each others sight, they would wreck havoc with each others emotions. I'll be honest with you, it was a two-faced relationship. I wouldn't have lasted long, anyway. Someone had to end it but AJ did it the wrong way without meaning to do it at all." Howie explained. Denise smiled to herself. He was one smart boy with good intuition. He saw people at face value but he also saw bellow the surface. "How did you ever become so smart?" Denise laughed. "I learned from the best. It also helped that I had more than one mom." Howie laughed back. "Well, I wish he could have learned from you about relationships." Denise quipped. "Mom, AJ has no problem with commitment. He has a problem with giving his heart away. He has a hard time trusting women ever since that relationship years ago. It screwed him up emotionally. Now he knows what it's like to be on the giving end instead of the receiving end of heartbreak." Howie said aloud, but to no one in particular.