Susan arrived home feeling happier than she had in a while but she knew the feelings would wear off and be replaced with confusion and then fear. But, she didn't care at that moment. As soon as she found her car in the airport parking lot she called Howie and left a voice mail when he didn't pick up the phone. "Hmm...probably out with the guys." She told herself as she drove to Xanda's house to share with her the details of her weekend in New York.

****

Xanda wiped away her tears while she cradled the phone in her lap. She knew crying was useless since there was no one to wipe her tears away like there had been in the past. The man who would normally wipe away her tears, hold her until she calmed down, and tell her it would be all right was now the same man responsible for her tears. She hated him for what he had done to her but she hated herself for even falling in love with him. The knife stabbing pain in her chest when John broke her heart wasn't there, thankfully, but the emotional pain was just as bad. She thanked God for not allowing her to fall completely head over heels for AJ while at the same time she cursed God for allowing a man like that to walk into her life.

She was about to go to bed even though it was 1 o'clock in the afternoon when she heard the phone ring. She tossed the phone across the room and yelled at the person on the other line to 'go to hell'. The phone continued to ring, giving Xanda a headache. She knew the other person wouldn't hang up until she answered and swore when she saw her answering machine across the room. "I don't remember throwing that." She mumbled as she crawled over to her cordless phone. She followed the ringing until she found her phone behind her stereo system. Without glancing at the caller ID, Xanda greeted the caller with a loud "WHAT!?"

"Alexandra?" The caller whispered. Quickly Xanda slumped back down against the floor, sobbing hard until she could hardly breath. After a few minutes Xanda calmed herself down. "Denise?" She asked back. "Yeah, honey...I'm assuming AJ told you already." Denise replied. "No, he hasn't even called me. My friend from New York saw him leaving the club with that other girl." She explained. "Oh, no..." Denise replied quietly, "...AJ wanted to be the one to tell you. He....well, he's just a mess. He doesn't remember anything. All he knows is that he hurt you. ...and your relationship with him is probably over." Denise explained. "It is." Xanda confirmed with a sniffle as she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, honey. I thought he had changed. I thought you were the one..." "Denise! I can't talk to you about your son right now. In time I'll be able to, but not right now. I just found out..." Xanda tried to explain while she was still calm. "Of course, honey! Of course. If you ever need anything at all, please call me. I see you as the daughter I've never had and I don't want my son's stupid choices in life to ruin that." Denise stated firmly. "I'll call you. I promise." Xanda whispered back. "Okay, that's all I want to hear. Get some rest, take some time off work if you have to. I'm so pissed at him I could scream right now..." Denise rambled on. Xanda smiled to herself before she decided to interrupt Denise. "Denise, I need to go. If you talk to AJ, please don't tell him that you talked to me, please?" Xanda pleaded. "I won't. Bye, Honey." Denise said softly. "Bye."

Xanda quickly exhaled before thoughts came flooding to her. The discussion about AJ with his own mother went well and Xanda was surprisingly calm. She only feared actually telling AJ it was over and how it would affect her friendships with the other guys. And Brian! She didn't even want to think about how he was going to treat her. "He'll probably tell me that I drove AJ to sleep with another woman." Xanda said aloud. The echo of her voice made her quickly realize that she was now completely alone. Feeling sorry for herself, Xanda started to sob again. She ignored the person pounding at the door and the ringing of her phone until the darkness of sleep took over.

****

Susan walked in her front door and noticed the blinking light of her answering machine. She clicked the 'play' button before walking to the kitchen to grab something to eat; all the while stripping out of her traveling clothes. The first two messages, from the office, caused Susan to groan aloud. She hated the office when they called her on the weekend especially when they knew she was going to be out of town. The last message, however, caused Susan to trip over her clothes on the floor as she ran towards the machine to replay the message. "Oh damn! Howie...what the hell..." Susan mumbled as she tried to find the rewind button. "Oh shit...delete! Damn!" She shouted after she pressed the wrong button.

Susan grabbed her phone and plopped down on the coach with a cup filled with apple slices and a jar of peanut butter. She dialed Howie's cell number and put the phone to her ear. She looked over her shoulder at the clock to make sure it wasn't an inconvenient time for him. "Hey." He greeted slyly. "Hey yourself!" She responded with a giggle.  "How was your flight?" He asked. "Not bad. But this weekend wore me out. First thing I did was strip out of my clothes and plop on the coach with a jar of peanut butter and some apple slices." She giggled back. "That actually sounds pretty good right about now. Hey, Kev! Cut me up an apple and let me borrow your peanut butter." Howie told his friend who happily agreed. 'Alrighty! I got me some apples and a beautiful girl on the phone. I'm all set." Howie stated. "A beautiful NAKED girl." Susan corrected but she quickly started to laugh when she heard the sound of choking in the background. "NAKED!?" Howie squealed. "Yeah..well, bra and panties. Close enough." Susan confirmed as she continued to munch on her apples.

"So...whatcha been up to?" She asked. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach and quickly sat upright to put the peanut butter onto the coffee table. "Nothing, reeeealllyyy....Did you by any chance check your messages?" Howie asked with curiosity. He knew the message he left would cause her to be concerned instead of chatting like she didn't have a care in the world. "Nope. I hit delete by accident. So? What kinda message did you leave me?" She cooed. "Not a very good one. It's about Alexandra. Have you spoken to her since you got home?" Susan sighed and wondered what kind of fight AJ and Xanda had gotten themselves into. "Not really. It was kinda weird; I stopped by her house to tell her about my weekend and she wouldn't answer the door. I called her while I was at the door but she wouldn't pick up. The phone stopped ringing after a while. I could swear that she threw the phone up against the wall. I know that she was home, Howie. Her car was there and the neighbors said that they never saw her leave the house with anyone else." Susan continued to ramble on while Howie sat quietly on the other line with a sick feeling that someone had told her about AJ and the other woman.

"...so what kind of fight did they get into?" Susan's voice brought Howie back to reality. "What kind of fight? Well...they weren't fighting. I mean, they were, but things changed this weekend..." Howie trailed off. "What do you mean things changed? When I was there, things with them were fine. What happened?" Susan demanded. "This is hard to say. AJ was drunk last night, right?" Howie asked, doing his best to make her remember. "Yeah, I remember that." Susan replied. "Okay...do you remember that girl he and Nick were drinking with?" Howie continued to ask. "Yeah, I remember. I hated her, too. And you thought it was funny!" Susan stated with disbelief. "Yeah, I did, because I didn't think you had a reason to be angry at the girl or AJ for that matter." Howie replied. "She was a hot young girl throwing herself at AJ and Nick. AJ and Nick are guys who were drinking...and since they are guys then of course, they were thinking with the wrong head." Susan tried to explain. "Not all of us think with the wrong head." Howie interrupted. "Yes, all guys. Not all the time, but all guys think with the wrong head at LEAST ten times in their life." Susan stated. "All right, all right. I'll give you that." Howie laughed. "Anyway, what about this girl..." Susan demanded as she shoved one last piece of apple into her mouth.   "She was drinking. He was drinking. She was hot. He was drunk and angry at Xanda for telling him she didn't love him anymore..." "OHMIGOD! Howie, please tell me what happened next isn't what I think happened." Susan pleaded. "I can't." Howie quietly replied.

"Oh god! That's why she wouldn't answer the phone or the door." Susan told herself. "AJ hasn't told her yet. He wants to wait until he gets off the tour." Howie explained. "Wait, wait, wait! I have one more message on my machine. Maybe it's from her. I can't believe I forgot to check this message..." Susan told herself more than she was telling Howie. Susan quickly hit the play button and held her breath as she listened to the message. "Dammit!" Both Howie and Susan shouted. "Keely told her." Susan said, knowing that Howie had heard the message. "Damn!" Howie shouted again. He knew that finding out from another person was worse than finding out from AJ himself. Howie sat down on the coach in the tour bus and stared out the window as they drove to another city. Kevin, AJ, and Howie had agreed to take a bus together while Brian and Nick took the other bus. Howie was about to say something else when AJ walked in to the 'living room' of the bus. "AJ...Xanda's already knows." Howie sadly told his friend. AJ stared at Howie with a blank expression before anger built up into his eyes. "Who told her, Howie!? WHO!?" AJ shouted with an accusing eye. "Man, calm down! It wasn't me! It was Keely. She saw you making out with that chick and she saw you two leave together." Howie quickly explained before AJ attacked him.

"Let me talk to him now, Howie." Susan demanded with an angry voice. "No, Susan. I don't think that's a good idea." Howie replied as he watched AJ pace around the confined area. He watched AJ's every move, afraid that he would strike out at any moment. "Does she want to talk to me?" AJ asked with an emotionless voice. Howie nodded his head as he continued to argue with Susan. AJ held out his hand, waiting for the phone. "Hold on, Susan." Howie said, defeated, before handing the phone over to AJ. "Hey Susan." AJ greeted. "What the fuck did you do to her? Why the fuck did you do it!?" Susan shouted at him. AJ held the phone away from his ear while she yelled. "I don't know, Susan. If I had been aware of what I was doing, I wouldn't have done it." AJ stated. "So? How is she?" He asked when she didn't respond. "I don't know, AJ. I know she's hurt. She won't answer the door and when I tried calling her she threw the phone up against the wall. So, what do you think?" Susan sarcastically asked back. "Damn..." AJ muttered. "Do me a favor and go over to the house and check on her?" AJ pleaded. "No can do. First, I won't be doing YOU any favors for a long time. And second, she won't answer the door." Susan replied.