It's difficult for me to put all the irony of this Valentine's Day situation into words. Sometimes even I have trouble wording my sentences, and right now, I'm having a great deal of trouble. Instead of concentrating on it, I'm going to talk about other things for a little while, then tie things back to it.

First of all, the band "Freezepop" is an extraordinarily cool band. I've been listening to some of their music for hours on end. Basically, don't pay for their CDs, because they only release around 4 songs on the CD - instead, go online and download their songs like, "Plastic Stars", "Science Genius Girl", "Freezepop Forever", "Tennis Boy", "Robotron 2000", and "Shark Attack". They're a really good "Synth Pop" band - maybe that's why I like them. Not only that, but their name is also really neat, "Freeze" or "extraordinarily cool" Pop - or Pop music.

Now for an ironic situation. I got off the bus and talking to Courtney - a typical Bob move, and start walking to class. I see my friend Alle and her friend, whose name I am unable to remember (at all, it's just one of those names that a person forgets), and I go up and start talking. They ask if I'm going swing dancing tonight, I tell them probably not. I see Jenna get off the bus literally right in front of me. I greet her and such, and she tells me that she can't go get Chinese food tonight. Bummer. Instead, she's going to a concert at the Phoenix - a local concert hall. So anyway, I was pretty darned disappointed. I think she's very pretty, but I have trouble expressing that sometimes - maybe it's my personality, whatever . . . . She hands me a Valentine. It reads as follows:

The cover has four hearts, and in the center it says, "HOLA!" The inside is pretty odd. It says, "Bob - hope you have many great encounters with giraffes filled with air on this sad, sad, day - (good day!). HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.

It's unsigned, but very thoughtful. I'm glad she was thinking of me as a friend on Valentines Day.

So, to get to the irony. The day progresses and such, only to bring to me some seriously weird situations. First of all, today was "rally" schedule - for Winter sports - everyone goes to the gymnasium for an extra 30 or so minutes and watches cheerleaders and jocks and things of that sort. People clap, cheerleaders dance, it's a simple equation. I sit up toward the top of the bleachers, next to my friend Allyssa (whose name I didn't know was Allyssa till later this day). We're all up in the stadiums, and the cheerleading squad (whom I know just about everyone on - I danced the last slow song at turn about with a girl named Deva, who is probably going to be Captain of the team next year). The dancing ends, and Deva skitters over to a corner. I walk down the bleachers - to go and say hey to her, and tell her she did a good job (she's a bit nervous, almost like skitzophrenia). Well guess who I see as I'm walking over there? Jenna, Omega, and all those people of that crowd. On the OPPOSITE side of the line, my friends and friends of Allyssa look over at me. I decide to walk over and say hello to Jenna and Deva. We all walk outside together. They don't pay much attention to me, which tells me a lot.

So anyway, we all walk out and go past the snack area and everything, and I decide that I'm just mentally exhausted from all this drama, and I walk into the band room, hoping to find Encore singing a song with their flawless voices. No such luck, so I walk out of the room. I walk down the stairs just outside of the band room, and I notice three girls looking at me very closely. IT was kind of eerie, it was almost like they were sizing me up or something - I'm not used to three pretty girls giving me a lot of attention at school - that sort of thing only happens at parties. So, I walk over and introduce myself. They do the giggle thing that girls in groups tend to do. Eventually they end up walking away. I see them later that day, when I walked over to what's known as the "Outcast tree" - it's where people who are very into Video production (making movies) and other things along that line hang out - I have no idea why it's called the Outcast tree per se, but I don't go there often. I go there and say hello to my friends that are faithful to me - say hi to Casey Carlin and Carrey Anderson, to Andy Garrison (who will probably be a famous director), and to Elissa. All the other people from that tree who I will remember for so many years . . . Back to the story though - I see Allyssa and those three girls talking over by the tree. I decide not to greet them, but I smile when they look over. I've never heard more giggling uproar. We all get into a conversation about notes - the 8th grade nightmare I had with a girl named Natalie Pifer. I've solemnly sworn to myself that I will never talk to a girl in notes ever again. I walk away confused.

I walk toward the old library - Jenna tends to hang out here, and I like to see her. She's one of those people with these extraordinarily amazingly happy personalities. Not only that, but she's very, very, very, pretty. She's got these two pink sides of her head - sort of like bangs that got overdone in pink. The fact that they're pink also tells a lot of her personality - pink is a very outgoing and noticeable color. She is very much that way, at least for me. Of course, she's over there, and she waves at me. For some reason, an image from yesterday pops into my mind. I was in the band room, and I go over and start to play the piano. Some people listen, others seem indifferent - a lot of people start to circle the piano though. A drummer volunteers, I say go for it. Mr. Wilson (the band teacher) ends up stopping us because the bell rings. As I walk out the door Jenna comes in. We stop and give each other a big hug. I tell her I've missed her because she's been sick. At this point, I still consider her a very pretty friend, I'm pretty sure things are going to stay this way, unless things are meant to be, they won't happen. I will say this again by the end of the entry. So, we talked for two or three minutes, really smiley and laugh and stuff, then I went to class. This image leaves my head, and I walk over and sit down across from their group, talking to them and such. A few of them move closer - the ones that like me a lot as a friend. I try to be a nice guy to every person that I meet, and it helps my reputation I presume. We're talking, and Omega (who is a really fun and eccentric person) decides she is going to put a sticker on my shoe. I really don't care. Then they decide to put rose petals in my hair. I really don't care, but instinctively a minute later I dust them off. It was pretty immature that they did these things, but I wanted to see if they would go through with it, so I could judge them for it afterwards.

After the bell rings, I walk with Jenna towards her next class - we usually do this because we end up splitting down toward the end of a hallway - we walk the same direction, then we split up. We do this often. So, we're talking, and I ask her if she has my phone number so she can call me sometime over the break when I'm getting operated on. Then I remember just that - I'm getting operated on - and stop talking. She tells me she doesn't have my number, but she has my Instant Messenger screen name. I thought this was kind of odd that a girl would take a screen name over a phone number. She told me she'd be on sometime Sunday. Enchanted in her beauty, I just nod, smile, and say see you sometime soon. I remember immediately afterwards that I'm going to see my Grandma on Sunday for Valentines Day. Grandma takes priority, for sure.

The day goes on with nothing of real interest to tell you of, until the bell rings. I wander around for awhile - just waiting for Track practice. Jenna sees me and we hug and say good bye and stuff like that. We talk for a minute then she leaves - she catches the first bus and has to go. I feel so many emotions - like I want to run after her and say, "change your mind, go out with me tonight, you're so beautiful" and then the realistic, non-dreamer part of me whispers in my ear, "You fool, look at that girl. She's not right for you in the least. She ignores you, makes you have stupid conversations in your head, and she already told you she didn't want to be with you by turning down your date." I end up listening to the second voice in the end - just to foreshadow. Adam sees me, and walks over. We talk for awhile - Adam is probably one of my cooler friends. As I'm walking toward track with Adam, Allyssa and her three friends walk by me and stop to say hey. Allyssa hands me a note. I open it, and read it. Adam sits back as I read. I tell him, "She just asked me out in a note. Look at this" I show him the note. I've never seen him smile so cunningly before. He said that Allyssa just finished doing this over some other guy - another image strikes into my head of her crying toward the lockers about a week ago - he goes on to say that Allyssa is a nice person though. I already knew she was a nice person . . . that's the only really "nice" thing about her. "Nice" girls usually aren't "Pretty girls". Jenna is a pretty girl, and I thought we had a lot in common, but I'm really confused as to the situation. She gives me a Valentine, she hugs me, and yet she doesn't want my phone number, and she goes to the Phoenix without inviting me. Just from seeing the events, I'd stick to the idea that she sees me as a "nice guy", a "friend", and a person to hang out with at lunch time. Such is my fate.

I'll call Allyssa sometime this weekend. She left me a phone number in her note. I'll let the cards play themselves, I don't want anything to do with them.

I exerted myself at Track. My chest is very sore, and my legs are in even more pain. I don't know if I have practice over the weekend, but I just might - I'll call someone or something like that. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday, so it's not like I'm worried about missing practice - I'll be doing quite a bit of that.

The emotions that I'm feeling right now are lust, desire, and passion. I have no idea how else to describe them. I'm being superficial and seeing merely the good sides of a person, and not putting them in summation with the bad sides. I am going to open my eyes and the situation for as it is. Hopefully I won't be too disappointed - but no matter what, I want to stay this girls friend. She is an amazing person, as I said before - with a happy personality - and I want that happiness to influence me. Hopefully she feels the same way and we have a chance at something more - but if it doesn't, I won't be disappointed, because I've predicted it long before.

Take care my friends, Happy Valentines Day.

P.S. My parents brought Chinese food home for me at 9:00 P.M.

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