Your Mama's So Old....

• her memory is in black & white!
• I told her to act her age, and she died!
• I asked to see her birth certificate, and she handed me a rock!
• she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp!
• Jurassic Park brought back memories!
• the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment!
• she has all the apostles in her black book!
• she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party!
• she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers!
• she went to an antique auction and three people bid on her!
• she walked into an antique store and they kept her!
• I've seen stale rasins with less wrinkles!
• she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license!
• if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer!
• she drove a chariot to high school!
• she took her drivers test on a dinosaur!
• she used to baby-sit Yoda!
• vultures constantly circle her house!
• it looks like the Wrinkle Fairy tap-danced on her face!
• they ask to check her bags... and she's not carrying any luggage!