We have seen a variety of therapists over the years to deal with our abuse issues and such, and have learned a few things along the way. These are my suggestions when you wish to seek therapy/counseling for yourself. The decision to seek therapy is a hard one in and of itself. Often a person seeing a therapist for the first time feels intimidated and anxious. One of the most important things to remember is THE THERAPIST WORKS FOR YOU! It is best to enter that first appointment with the attitude that you are in charge of your therapy process, and you have the most to lose or gain within that process. This doesn't mean be bullheaded or angry. Know what you want. Before going to see a new therapist, sit down, write the things that are concerning you, and what you would like to see change. Outline your goals for therapy; what would you like to see be the end result? If you are a multiple, I suggest writing these things down, then leaving the list out so that your alters may add to it. Don't forget to add any concerns or questions you may have. One therapist I saw, in trying to integrate us, decided to put alters in boxes. One of the questions that came up for our new therapist in the notebook was asking if he/she put alters in boxes. They all have their own fears, needs, and concerns as well, don't discount that. Much of the process of obtaining a new therapist will be finding one who you can trust, as well as one who is willing to help you achieve what YOU want, not get you to accept what the therapist wants for you. Regardless of the power and education of the therapist, you are still employing him/her to help you. Never be afraid to ask questions, and never be bullied into something you aren't comfortable with. Above all, remember that a therpist is bound to maintain a professional relationship with you, no matter what. Even when you have concluded therapy with him/her, he/she is still bound by professional ethics. This means that NO therapist should ever see you in a social setting, such as dinner and a movie, and should, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, ever engage in sexual relationship with you. Here are some questions that are good to ask, but please add to this list about your own personal needs and concerns. A good therapist is essential to healing journey, a bad therapist is very damaging to it, so chose carefully. Read more about our experience in dealing with therapists on Our Mental Health Nightmare page.

Questions to ask a potential therapist

What are your qualifications? Have you treated survivors/multiples in the past? For how long?
How do you approach working with survivors and or multiples? What is your treatment philosophy?
Are you open-minded to trying new things and learning new techniques?
What is your availablility after hours? Do you have a pager service or answering service for emergencies?
Do you encourage me to seek outside support from books, groups, friends, and the community?
For multiples: Do you believe integration is the only healing for a multiple?
Are you willing to deal with whichever alter appears in your office, on their terms, without trying to make them go away ?
Have you ever been reported for unethical behavior?
Do you understand and recognize the difference between self-injury and a suicide attempt?
How long do you expect this process to take with the goals I have outlined?
You will have other questions, about fees and insurance, and those that are specific to your needs. I hope this helps you get started.