SNL Skits

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SNL and Simpsons Transcripts


Believe it or not, Conan O'Brien wasn't always famous and beloved by insomiacs the world over. Before hitting it big with his own late-night network talk show, Conan produced and wrote for The Simpsons and Saturday Night Live. Collected here are some of the transcripts of skits Conan wrote or participated in on SNL, and transcripts of the episodes he wrote on The Simpsons. If I've made a typo or some other foolish mistake, you can find the SNL skits yourself in the book SNL - The First Twenty Years, and on the terrific site, The Simpsons Archive. Okay, I've babbled on enough. On with the show!

The SNL Transcripts

Conan wrote for Saturday Night Live from '89-'91. If you catch the premier of the '89 season, he has a small cameo. He also can be seen in the [far] background in a Wayne Gretzky skit, playing a drum. They re-air that skit every time SNL does a 'Sports' themed nostalga show. And here's something for you trivia fans: Conan was one of only three ex-SNL alumni to host a talk show: Chevy Chase and Dennis Miller were the others.


Nude Beach
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I've heard that this is Conan's most famous sketch he created in the years he wrote for SNL. Apparently, it was this sketch (in combination with others) that won SNL an Emmy in '89. Anyway, this skit was made famous because it featured 43 different mentions of the word 'penis'. (17 spoken/26 sung) 'Nude Beach' was mentioned in Howard Stern's autobiography Private Parts ("...I don't know why people have such a problem with me...I was watching [SNL] the other day and every other word was 'penis'. ") This skit has been discussed on other TV shows and on Saturday Night Live itself.


Five Timer's Club
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Pretty straight-forward stuff. Tom Hanks was hosting SNL for the fifth time, and Conan played a doorman. He did have lines, and the skit is pretty funny, so I'm adding it.

Gulf War Briefing
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Conan played reporter #6 in this skit, and had two lines. But it's worth mentioning, right?:) Anyway, Kevin Nealon and Phil Hartman nabbed the big parts in this sketch.

As usual, all SNL-related stuff is copyright: NBC

The Simpsons Transcripts

Conan (who wrote for The Simpsons from 1991 to 1993) said of his experiance there: ""I was mostly appalled by the state of the furniture in the writing room. The couches looked like a college dorm, all beat up, and the springs were gone. Some writer had mashed a big blob of caramel chews onto the ceiling, and others had stuck stuff in it. No one ever bothered to take it down. It may still be there, it's probably now a historic landmark, there's probably a plaque on it."


New Kid on the Block
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Conan's first Simpson's episode. A feud with 'The Frying Dutchman' restraunt makes live interesting for Homer and a 15 year-old new neighbour (voice by Rosanne's Sara Gilbert) threatens to break young Bart's heart. I can't really give you critical analysis of this episode; I can only say that it's common knowlege Conan wrote the best episodes of The Simpsons.


Marge Vs. the Monorail
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The town of Springfield comes into some money, and they spend it on a dangerous and unecessary monorail. Their purchase was influenced by the song-and-dance of a fast-talking charmer (voiced by the late Phil Hartman). Conan's fascination with Star Trek leads to some very funny scenes with Leonard Nimoy.


Homer Goes to College
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Easily my favorite Simpsons episode, this was also controversial among fans. Some people felt knocks against college 'geeks' hit a little too close to home. Homer, barring a college degree, will be fired from his job at the nuclear plant. He enlists the help of a couple of 'deebs to help him pass his science course'. Homer's view of college life has been formed by films in the fashion of 'Animal House' and anything shown on 'TBS Super Sunday', and the results show. A very funny episode all round.


Bart Gets Famous
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After a fluke apperance on The Krusty the Clown Show Bart become famous and then pannels on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. It's Conan in animated form! (But Andy is suspiciously absent!)

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