[Scene: Atop a battlement, overlooking the gate.]

[INIGO and FEZZIK lean WESTLEY against the wall as they look down at the troops below.]

Fezzik: Inigo, there's more than thirty!

Inigo: [propping up WESTLEY] What's the difference? We've got him! Help me here. We'll have to force-feed him.

Fezzik: Has it been fifteen minutes?

Inigo: We can't wait. The wedding's in half an hour. We must strike in the hustle and the bustle beforehand. Tilt his head back. Open his mouth.

[INIGO puts the pill in WESTLEY's mouth.]

Fezzik: How long do we have to wait, before if we know if the miracle works?

Inigo: Your guess is as good as mine.

Westley: [disoriented] I'll beat you at your part! I'll take you both together!

Fezzik: I guess not very long.

Westley: Why won't my arms move?

Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day.

Inigo: We had Miracle Max make a pill to bring you back.

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Buttercup?!

Inigo: Let me 'splain… No, there is too much. Let me sum up: Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the Princess, make our escape — after I kill Count Rugen.

Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.

[WESTLEY wiggles the index finger of his right hand.]

Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger! That's wonderful!

Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?

Inigo: There is but one working castle gate.

[They lift WESTLEY to briefly look over the wall at the courtyard below before leaning him again against the wall.]

And it is guarded by sixty men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Westley: That's it? Impossible. If I had a month to plan, maybe I could come up with something, but this...

[WESTLEY shakes his head.]

Fezzik: You just shook your head! That doesn't make you happy?

Westley: My brains, your strength, and his steel against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmmmm? I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

Inigo: Where did we put that wheelbarrow the Albino had?

Fezzik: Over the Albino, I think.

Westley: [testily] Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place? [sighs] What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.

Inigo: There we cannot help you.

[FEZZIK pulls a black cloak from under his shirt.]

Fezzik: Would this do?

Inigo: [incredulous] Where did you get that?

Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.

Westley: Alright, alright. Come on, help me up.

[FEZZIK and INIGO help WESTLEY get off the ground. It is still them who keep him upright, by propping him on INIGO.]

Now, I'll need a sword eventually.

[WESTLEY's head falls forward. FEZZIK lifts it back into place.]

Inigo: Why? You can't even lift one.

Westley: True, but that's hardly common knowledge, is it?

[WESTLEY's head falls backward. FEZZIK again lifts it back into place.]

Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside.

[WESTLEY's head again falls forward. FEZZIK lifts it back into place.]

Inigo: I'll say. Namely, how do I find the Count? Once I do, how do I find you again? Once I find you again, how do I escape?

Fezzik: Don't pester him. He's had a hard day.

Inigo: Right. Right… Sorry.

[They begin to walk away, with WESTLEY propped up on the back of INIGO.]

Fezzik: Inigo?

Inigo: What?

Fezzik: I hope we win.

[Scene: Castle.]

Humperdinck: You don't seem excited, my little muffet.

Buttercup: Should I be?

Humperdinck: Brides often are, I'm told.

Buttercup: I do not marry tonight. My Westley will save me.

[Scene: Courtyard.]
[WESTLEY, INIGO, and FEZZIK examine the situation. They huddle, with WESTLEY forcing his arm to flip and land in on theirs. It takes WESTLEY several tries before his arm will toss.]

[Scene: Chapel]
[Organ music plays ornate music, setting the stage for a regal, beautiful wedding. HUMPERDINCK and BUTTERCUP stand before the IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN. There is a dramatic pause after the music stops before the IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN begins the ceremony.]

Impressive Clergyman: Mawwage. Mawwage is whot bwings us togevah today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam…

Yellin: [outside in the courtyard] Stand your ground, men! Stand your ground!

[The wedding party looks around a bit concerned.]

[Scene: Outside the castle gate]
[FEZZIK stands draped in the Holocaust cloak. Smoke rises ominously behind him. Only his face shows, with his eyes looking like the hollow eyes of death. He rolls forward ominously.]

Yellin: Stand your ground!

Fezzik: I am the Dread Pirate Roberts! There will be no survivors!

[INIGO and WESTLEY are pushing FEZZIK in the wheelbarrow.]

Inigo: Now?

Westley: Not yet.

Fezzik: Many are here, I am here. But soon, you will nooot be herrrre.

Inigo: [strained, barely holding FEZZIK] Now?

Westley: Light him.

[INIGO and WESTLEY light FEZZIK's robe with a torch.]

Fezzik: The Dread Pirate Roberts takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares are about to come truuuue!

[Most of the guards scatter in all directions.

[Scene: Chapel]

Impressive Clergyman: And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah--

[Scene: Outside the Gate]

Fezzik: The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your soulllls!

[The men scatter everywhere, leaving only YELLIN.]

Yellin: Stay where you are! Fight! Stay where you are!

[YELLIN backs towards the gate.]

[Scene: Chapel]

Impressive Clergyman: So tweasuwe youw wove—

Humperdinck: —Skip to the end.

Clergyman: Hahve you the wing?

Buttercup: [to HUMPERDINCK, triumphantly] Here comes my Westley now.

[Scene: Outside the Gate]
[FEZZIK has removed the robe. Only YELLIN remains. The portcullis begins to fall.]

Westley: Fezzik, the portcullis!

[FEZZIK holds the portcullis from closing, and then shoves it back upward, with some difficulty. Only the gate remains to keep them from the castle.]

[Scene: Chapel]

Humperdinck: Your Westley is dead. I killed him myself.

Buttercup: Then why is there fear behind your eyes?

[Scene: Outside the Castle]
[YELLIN is now surrounded by FEZZIK, INIGO, and WESTLEY. FEZZIK drags WESTLEY.]

Westley: Give us the gate key.

Yellin: [innocently] I have no gate key.

Inigo: Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin: [grabbing the bag hanging from his neck] Oh, you mean this gate key.

[YELLIN hands over the key.]

[Scene: Chapel]

Impressive Clergyman: And do you, Pu-wincess Buttercwahp—

Humperdinck: [annoyed] —Man and wife! Say man and wife!!

Impressive Clergyman: Man and wahfe.

Humperdinck: Escort the bride to the honeymoon suite. I'll be there shortly.

Buttercup: [shocked] He didn't come.

[Scene: Castle corridor.]