Weaver's News Spin
April 1998
A review of events and their interpretation.
Wednesday, 15 April
The mayor of Tehran is free on bail following his arrest. Mayor Karbaschi was arrested on the 5th and faced corruption charges. His supporters claimed the charges were totally trumped up, and part of a wider plan to weaken the moderate government. British officials have been watching the situation with interest, just in case Ken Livingstone is elected mayor of London.
The no campaign in the Ulster referendum launches. Dr Ian Paisley of the Democratic Unionists shouted that the accord PUTS MURDERERS ON THE STREETS and starts A STRUGGLE FOR THE VERY LIFE'S BLOOD OF THE UNION. Dr Paisley is 75 decibels.
Semi-final night in the European Cup. Juventus go down 3-2 to Monaco, but win 6-4 on aggregate to make their 4th straight final. They'll play Real Madrid, who fought out a dull 0-0 draw against Borussia Dortmund to win 2-0 over the two legs.
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Tuesday, 14 April
The floods are going down across middle England, but drought is still a possibility. UK Water, a representative body, said that 95% of the recent precipitation had run to waste, and called it the wrong kind of rain. Evidently they were expecting the hot, dry sort.
Semi-finals of the UEFA Cup. Inter Milan booked their place in the finale, Ronaldo scoring both goals in their 2-1 win at Spartak Moscow, 4-2 on aggregate. Lazio make it an all Italian final, after drawing 0-0 with Athletico Madrid, a 1-0 aggregate win. Domestically, Leicester and Southampton's 3-3 draw eliminates both of them from the European stage.
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Monday, 13 April - Easter Monday
The worst floods of the century receed across the Midlands. Insurers estimate that the cost will run into 10 figures, causing premiums to rise by as much as 30% over the next year. The insurers have taken a gamble and lost; yet without them being prepared to take this chance, individuals would have to foot the massive bills themselves.
The marching season in Northern Ireland opens peacefully, as the Protestant Apprentice Boys march in Belfast accepts the ruling keeping them out of a Catholic area. This shows the good faith of at least some parts of the Unionist community.
Crystal Palace look to be heading out of the Premier League following their defeat at Liverpool. Newcastle eased their relegation fears with a 2-1 defeat of Barnsley, while Spurs were held 1-1 by Coventry. Wimbledon and Everton also drew 0-0, while Derby trounced Bolton 4-0. Arsenal took a first minute lead over Blackburn through the returning Dennis Bergkamp, en route to a 4-1 thrashing of the side. The win cuts the gap at the top to a single point, though Arsenal have two games in hand over Manchester United.
In Division 1, Sunderland drew 3-3 at West Brom, Notts Forest beat Wolves 3-0, Norwich trounced Huddersfield 5-0, and Middlesborough beat Reading 1-0. Watford are promoted from Division 2 after two seasons.
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| The death of Sir Ian MacGregor, 85, chair of the British Steel Corporation between 1980-83 and British Coal from 1983-86. MacGregor faced down the steel unions in his first days in post, but entered history as the man who finally broke the coal unions in the year-long miner's strike during 1984-5. Baroness Thatcher, Prime Minister of the time, said He brought a breath of fresh air to British industry and he had such a genial personality.
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Sunday, 12 April - Easter Day
Gay rights protesters interrupted the Archbishop of Canterbury's Easter sermon. The group, led by shameless Australian self-publicist Peter Tatchall, claimed that the C of E's policies amounted to human rights violations against homosexuals. More considered thinkers point out that religion is bunkum anyway, so what does it matter if some piffling little grouping doesn't agree with you?
Rangers returns to the top of the Scottish Premier League, following their 2-0 defeat of Celtic. The blue side of the Old Firm is now top by just one goal, level on points with their traditional rivals.
Mark O'Mera wins the US Masters golf by one shot from Fred Couples.
The lead talents in Friends may be making millions per season, but that doesn't extend to guest actors. Helen Baxendale, the Lisa Forrest impressionist playing Ross' British girlfriend, says that she received just $3000 for her role. After tax, expenses and union dues, that represents a loss.
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Saturday, 11 April - Passover
The Ulster Unionist party backs the peace accord, in spite of some claiming that it gives too much ground to the Nationalist community.
Arsenal beat Newcastle 3-1 in a match that's both a rehersal for next month's Cup Final, and crucial for that side's title chances. Crystal Palace look doomed after losing 3-0 to Leicester, but Barnsley and Bolton took wins to drag Tottenham and Newcastle back into the relegation scrap.
Notts Forest move further ahead in the 1st division, winning 3-0 at Bradford. Man City dropped further into relegation mire as they twice squandered the lead in a 2-2 draw at Wolves. Bristol City go up from Division 2, while Doncaster are relegated from Division 3 and out of the league.
Draws abound in Scotland, but Hibs beat Hearts 2-1 to ease the pressure at the bottom and effectively end their neighbour's title chances. Dundee will be back in the Premier League next season after clinching the Division 1 title.
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Friday, 10 April - Good Friday
Peace deal in Ulster reached after 36 hours of non-stop negotiation. The main points:
- Ulster assembly of 108 members, will establish a North-South ministerial council and structural bodies.
- Republic to end territorial claim to North, and UK to amend law making clear that consent is required to change the status of the province.
- All prisoners belonging to organisations ceasing fire freed within two years, along with decomissioning of terrorist arms.
- Independent commission on policing with international element.
- Referendum to put this to the people of Ireland on May 22, with the elections for the bodies pencilled in for June 25.
Prime Minister Tony Blair said that courage had triumphed. I hope the burden of history can now be lifted. It's up to the wills and minds of people to make this accord a success.
Irish PM Bertie Ahern hailed a victory for peace. Equality, co-operation and partnership threaten nobody.
David Trimble, leader of the Ulster Unionists said the union is now stronger than before the three years of peace talks. A struggle that has lasted 12 years for justice and equality has succeeded.
Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams says his party will continue to pursue its republican aims.
John Major praised the tenacity of all involved. This is the best beacon of hope we've had in a long time
Mo Mowlam pledged herself to the hard work ahead. I'm sure the positive news today will continue to be built on.
Two die in the flooding in the English Midlands. The flooding, believed to be the worst in 50 years, claimed lives in Northampton and Pershore when caravans were swept away.
A crucial match in the English Premier League ended 1-1 between Liverpool and Manchester United. It gives Arsenal pole position in the Premier League race. |
Thursday, 9 April
Talks continue well into the night on the future of Northern Ireland. Ulster Unionist leader David Trimble was endorsed by the UUP's executive, but heckled by protestors accusing him of selling out.
More than 100 pilgrims die during a stampede near Mecca. The pilgrims were throwing stones at pillars symbolising the devil when huge crowds pressed to the pillars.
Bad weather causes massive problems to travellers. The main rail lines between London and Birmingham are both blocked by flooding, and the river Avon bursts its banks at Stratford and Tewksbury.
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Wednesday, 8 April
Pop hitster George Michael is arrested in Beverley Hills, Los Angeles, for lewd conduct. Arresting officer Antonia Carrero found the former lead singer of Wham! smoking in the public conveniences. Under new Californian laws, this is a major criminal offence.
Spanish fishers will profit after the Government decided that it had to compensate them for barring them from British territorial waters in the late 80s. The Spanish, already responsible for tipping the Canadian stocks into depletion, are now in line for further compensation based on putative, rather than real, lost earnings.
Batters in command in the last 1-day international. The West Indies make 302/5 in their 50 overs, with Lara and Lambert sharing a stand of 185. In reply, England are bowled out for 236, losing by 66 runs and the series 4-1.
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Tuesday, 7 April
The Ulster Unionists reject the draft peace accord. Leader David Trimble accused the Irish government of failing to act in good faith. Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams told Trimble to grow up. Alliance party chief Lord Alderdice pointed out what had been agreed so far: Today is Tuesday. Thursday is in two days time. If Tony Blair wants an agreement, he had better get himself here. Lord Alderdice will soon be starting a career as a Clint O'Eastwood impressionist. |
| The death of country singer Tammy Wynette at the age of 55. The first lady of country went through five husbands, three Country Music Association and two Grammy awards. She had 21 singles top Billboard's Country Music charts, and two UK Number One singles: the instantly recognisable Stand By Your Man and D. I. V. O. R. C. E. Continuing to record right up to her death, Tammy - born Virginia Wynette Pugh - joined with noise terrorists the KLF on 1991's classic Justified and Ancient. |
| In English football, Charlton beat Wolves 1-0, and Sheffield United overcome Middlesborough by the same score. Both sides look good for the play-offs.
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Monday, 6 April
Senator George Mitchell unveils his draft peace settlement for Northern Ireland. Mo Mowlam says that a peaceful resolution is near, while Unionist leader David Trimble was so non-plussed that he made a sausage dog out of a lime green balloon he inflated with hot air from the talks.
The Church of England says it won't tolerate bullying of female priests. A representative said that the church was taking the harrassment seriously, and anyone found guilty would have to buy his victim flowers and pat her nicely on the head.
An important football match sees Manchester United come from behind to beat Blackburn 3-1, with a major contribution from David Beckham. United now go 6 points clear at the top, although second place Arsenal have three games in hand.
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Sunday, 5 April
A new survey shows Japan watches the most TV of any nation in the world. The USA and France round out the top 3, while Britain ranks a lowly 13th. Erm, who has the best shows in the world?
A busy day of sport. Arsenal and Newcastle will contest the English cup final, after 1-0 wins over Wolves and Sheffield United respectively. Rangers and Hearts will meet in the Scottish affair; Rangers beat their great rivals Celtic 2-0, while Hearts downed Falkirk 3-1.
Rugby's European Championship saw France win the title after a comprehensive 51-0 thrashing of Wales.
Cricket, and England collapse to 158 all out in the latest one day match. Adam Hollioake top scored with just 23. Lara and Lambert both scored half centuries as the West Indies won with more than 10 overs to spare.
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Saturday, 4 April
There's a find of Anthrax spores deep in the concrete at King's Cross station in London. The bugs have been there for over 100 years, and present no danger to health; unlike the recently leaked Iraqi plan to spike alcopops with this disease.
A busy day of sport. Earth Summit, the 6-1 favourite, wins the Grand National, Britain's biggest horse race. And Britain win their Davis Cup match against the Ukraine, with the unusual pairing of Henman and Rusedski coming through in three sets. And in the European Rugby Championship, England beat Ireland 35-17 to finish 2nd; the Irish end up last.
In St Vincent, the third one day international. England stumble to 209/8 off their 50 overs, with Graeme Hick top scoring with just 45. Carl Hooper is the pick of the bowlers, returning 2 for 31 off his 10 overs. In reply, the West Indies stormed to 31 off the first five overs before Lambert fell. The Windies continued to make good progress, and reached the target with 11 balls to spare.
In English league football, Aston Villa dent West Ham's European dreams, Leeds defeat battling Barnsley, Spurs and Everton, Wimbledon and Bolton both fight out draws that none of them would have opted for. |
Friday, 3 April
Prime Ministers Ahem and Blur say that an Ulster peace deal is tantalisingly close. The men, offering no evidence to back up their claim, succeed in ousting news that the new Parades Comission has banned a Loyalist march over the Easter weekend. It's clearly an optimistic spin put out by a pro-Catholic pair of governments, in order to keep the Unionists in line and not protest this latest slight too much.
Britain take a 2-0 lead in their Davis Cup tennis match against the Ukraine. Greggles Rusedski beat the makeweight player Alex Rybalko in three sets, while Tim Henman beat Andrei Medvedev in five.
A Swiss family give up living in a shop window after just three days. The Biundo family of Berne were working as a part of a tv experiment, but found their experience in a goldfish bowl was just intolerable.
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Thursday, 2 April
Irish police foil a bomb plot against the British mainland. A 980 pound bomb was found at Dun Laghoire harbour, near Dublin, and made safe. There's no word on which organisation is responsible
Paula Jones' case against Bill Clinton is thrown out of court. As there was no temporary or permanent harm inflicted on Jones, there can be no case for harrassment.
Semi-finals of the Cup Winners' Cup see Vicenza beat Chelsea 1-0, and Stuttgart take a 2-1 win over Lokomotiv Moscow. This means all three Muscovite clubs are behind going into the second legs.
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Wednesday, 1 April - All Fool's Day
Police in London have arrested a man they suspect is the Mardi Gra bomber. The campaigner is linked to explosions and devices at branches of banks and supermarkets in the London area over the past seven years. The detention occured after a controlled explosion in South Ruislip. It comes on the same day as the establishment of a national anti-crime squad, compared in scope to the American FBI.
A quiet April Fool's Day in the media. A well known chocolate company announced that they would be selling Eau de Mars, while a tabloid paper said that Britain would move to a European Standard time based on a 50 minute hour. Prime fool, though, was Prime Minister Blur who appealed for the release of a character in a television soap, thus bringing himself and the judicial system into extreme disrepute.
Semi-finals of the European Cup. Juventus stormed past Monaco 4-1, with a Zidane hat trick. The Madrid - Dortmund match was delayed over an hour after fans pulled down one of the goalposts. Madrid won 2-1, but Dortmund are protesting the result, claiming the replacement goals were too small.
And the second one day international, this time in Barbados. England rattled to 266 all out, with Nick Knight top scoring with 90. The West Indies looked set to win at 163/4, but a late collapse meant that it went down to the final over, with the Windies winning by one wicket with one ball to spare. |
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This page updated Apr 15, 1998