robbie bashing
may 2

Bridget
I don't know if it's the same elsewhere, but here in Australia, all the damn Pepsi cans have Robbie Williams on them
Hey, you'll have to send some over, it'll please Mark no end (:

He looks like a jackass on there,
Guess what. He looks like a jackass everywhere. All mouth and no brains.

And I have to drink out of this everyday!
But what is the alternative? The Red Stuff. Red Stuff is bad, mmmkay?

Allan
I dont hate Robbie, Angels was a great song. But there are lots of people who could have done it better.
Ooh, let me think. Karl Wallenger. He could do it better. Heck, he wrote the darned thing. And Shelby Lynne, she'd do a rockin' country number. Little Billie Piper? Maybe not.

cd tracking
may 2

Mark!
I'll go for the old stand-by of "what's in your cd player at the moment?"
At the right now moment? It's empty. It has recently been filled by CDs from...
* Steps. "Deeper Shade of Blue." It took a long time to grow on me, but it's a goodie. And no matter what anyone might say, H is Spike in the video.
* Lonestar. "Amazed." See posts two weeks ago.
* Fiona Apple. "When The Pawn..." A bit of a cracker, but not the Alanis-lite the press led me to expect. Thanks to chelle and keoni for their persuasive reviews.
* Macy Gray "On How Life Is." It's been in and out for some weeks, and there's still tricks up its sleeve.
* Plus a mix tape from February 1997, such long-lost classics as "Toxygene," "Novocaine for the Soul," "Clementine," "That Thing You Do!" and "My Mum Has Gone To Iceland."

the album in my cd player at the moment is "The Secret of Life" by Gretchen Peters. Now, as Iain will surely testify I could talk at length on the virtues of Gretchen
He could talk the hind legs off an Acturian Mega-Donkey in selling Gretchen's talents, when the best way is to shut up and put the CD in.

Actually, she nearly got another sale recently. I'd dropped hints that I'd get my sister the Buffy season I video box set for her birthday, but couldn't find it in town. I could find "The Secret Of Life," though, and for somewhat less than the videos. Sadly for Gretchen, I did find the vids through a net retailer, and have sent them for her birthday. The CD awaits should she be stuck for a present for Christmas...

I thank Steve Madden and all at BBC Radio 2 on a daily basis for making this their album of the week some two and a half years ago.
As you probably know, Steve Madden broadcasts on BBC Eastern Counties (Northants, Essex and all places between) of a weekday evening, before leading into Keith Skuse. Six hours of great listening.

baa wars
may 4

Judy
I have no idea if I should give any spoiler warnings here but I don't think it is that necessary. Anyway, anyone who hasn't seen Star Wars and still wants to see it and hates spoilers, don't read on!
For information, movies come out of spoilers six months after US release, or three weeks after the final release date listed on imdb. That means Star Wars Minus Two came out of spoilers in November.

But for those who haven't seen Baa Wars: The Sheep Strike Back, here's some of the greatest moments...

"Baa baa baaaa baa baaa."
"Baa baaa baa baaaaa baa."
"Woof!"
"Baa baa! Baa baa baaaaa."
"Baaa baa baa!"

Wonderful acting, don't you think?

I watched it on Monday w/ Volker! (my cutie! :))
Wait... Judy's got a cutie? Paulo's flatmate will be so jealous.

Are you all totally confused now or do you understand at least partly what I am talking about. It's not that simple if you need to explain all the confusing and complicated thoughts we discussed about this! :)
Well, I think this piece of dialogue clears it all up:

"Baa baa baah baa baaaa."
"Baa ba-baa baa baaaa baaaah."
"Baaaa b'baah."
"Baa. Baah baa baa."
[clicks hooves together and marches out.]

Explains it all, I think.

dirty birds
may 6

Allan
Scary Birdies! Heres a story for you! The pigeons in Trafalgar Square, London!
Pah! Those are just media tart pigeons! Just because that top Italian tenor Lucciano Pigeorotti decided to coo there once, and just because Trafalgar Square is, like, famous for having birds, the ones there think they're the tops. The bee's knees. The dog's wotsits.

I had to pose as a Spy and walk through the pigeons in Trafalgar Square
Pose as a spy walking through Trafalgar Square... the sort that puts down his laptop computer halfway across the Square and doesn't pick it up again?

"Walk through them so they fly up out of your way."
Nope. Never work. These media tart pigeons are so smart, they won't move for anything less than full Equity rates: six bags of breadcrumbs per day.

They pecked your feet and flew straight at you, they are violent too, and a black suit became white quite quickly!
Pah. That's nothing. If you want real kamikaze pigeons, head to the Baker Street entrance of Regent's Park. Like the media tart cousins two miles south, they don't move for anyone. Unlike their counterparts at Nelson, though, they come straight for you...

"Beeswax leader calling GoodFeather 1-5 and Ball 36 double D. Do you read, ovahhh?"
"Suit at seven o'clock, sah!"
"Can't be bothered to wait till then, bombs away right now."
"Fire at Will."
"Which one's Will?"

Angela
Remember that an Englishman's umbrella is his best friend and constant companion!
Best friend? Maybe not, that would be coming shortly...
Constant companion? Ah, you've been in England for ten seconds.

Get one with a sharp pokey thing on the end and *stab* at any feathered fiend that looks suspicious.
That would be all of them, then.

Wear a little rubber cap the same color as your hair.
Or, wear an Englishman's real best friend, his bowler hat. Perfect for removing misplaced pigeon points.

Dress like a scarecrow and inform the director that *this* is the way the boys in MI5 *really* dress when they run through clouds of pigeons.
Actually, this is the way the boys in MIQ5 dress all the time. They don't quite fit into their surroundings, which is why we find them wearing swimsuits at the diving contest.

cory rulez
may 6

Cory, High Priestess of the Chapel of Loaf
sara is more lovable than she was before. Which is to say, really very lots of lovable.
Amen and hallelujah!

No one should ever even try such an atrocity.
Especially if you are a pub singer in North Wales who bears a striking resemblance to Israel's most famous trans-sexual chanteuse. Or you are a pub singer in Dublin who thinks he can make it big by joining with some mates and fooling a record company into spending lots of money on you.

If you disagree, perhaps because you just can't love Paradise By the Dashboard Light, or you've never listened to all the words of I Won't Do That and so don't understand it,
Eleven minutes well spent on hours of contentment. IWDAFL(BIWDT) is one of those songs that cannot be sensibly edited down, even though record companies did try. See also: American Pie, We Are The World, or I Believe I Can Fly.

To quote that most sexxy man, Mr. Vedder
[harrumph]

"I'm still alive." It's just finals week, and rough as all hell for other reasons.
It seems to have become something of a tradition for me to reach over and hug Cory every time she says something. Maybe I'll just have to start sending perma-hugs, it'll be quicker.

However, I'm still so clean you could eat off me, and I have yet to give up my oral fixation ;) so I guess I'm doin' all right.
Astrologers suggested that the world would come to an end on Friday, when seven heavenly bodies formed a vague approximation of a straight line.

The news from Cory, however, proved to all reasoned commentators that the world was not about to end, normal service would resume, and the worst that would happen is that the High Priestess would only get one hug from the UK.

Even that didn't come to pass.

one should come out at least once a week. Oh, shoot, not that kind of coming out.
Though, if anyone wants to, this is as supportive a place as any, I think you'll find.

(Sentence above also works with two commas.)

whee, I want an umfriend. No wait, I want a girlfriend.
You just want someone to drip-feed grilled cheese, let's cut to the chase here.

-Cory
"I'm not that innocent."
Ah, but are you a Woman In Love? And will anyone a) figure out what I'm referring to here, and b) explain it to the rest of the audience? Perhaps someone who knows a lot about Bra n' Bra Disaster.

Actually, I'd better explain this right now. We all know that Birtney has a lot of knockers, and Mark is known as one of them... But anyway. Compare and contrast the chorus of Birtney's looming #1 from right now "Oops I...," and Streisand's 1980 list-leader "Woman In Love." The two bear a striking resemblence. Coincidence or what?

love letters
may 6

Well, I was going to entitle this message with news of just how much I like, respect, and kinda enjoy being around the whole of you out there. "I love you" would be a good name for this post, I thought. Then came news of a Philipine worm that had kinda beaten me to the punchline. Curses, foiled again.

But let me think about some nasty questions that will really piss off your local "virus expert" of a Monday morning. They're adapted from a piece at www.kumite.com/myths/

* Which clogged up your email system: the worm, warnings about the worm, a "precautionary disconnection," or none of the above.

* Did your company get hit? How come? Melissa was over a year ago, and the lessons still haven't been learned. "We reacted in minutes" still shows that people are moving after the fact, not before.

* Blaming Windoze | OE | VB scripting? Fair target, but how come antivirus software doesn't flag up something like "filename.txt.vbs" as a problem? It's a trick so simple a five-year old could try it.

* Blaming Microsoft's dominance? What happens when we standardise on Linux | Java | whatever comes next?

* Replace OE? Why? A virus must reach its target before infecting it, so why not stop viruses before they arrive?

* We need antivirus software to protect against this worm? Nope, just turn off VB scripting. Of course, had we done that last week, PCs wouldn't have been infected in the first place.

In fairness, had Microsoft not been so brain-dead as to make running system-controlling scripts the default option, this need never have happened. That's how KAK works (back to Bridget_and_Tim) and it's stupid beyond words.

And finally, my love letter count: 0. Nil. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nul. The probable score of Cyprus at Eurosong 00.

South Bank
may 6

Oh, and let me explain that London / Ken thing. Allan was referring to the hugely funny series, "South Bank." It stars four little squits living on the South Bank of the Thames. There's oh-so-smart Peter, big-boned (not fat!) Frank, Tony, and little Ken whom no-one can understand.

In every episode, our four anti-heroes get up to some pointless japes. Running gags include people tripping over Robin, the ginger gnome in Tony's garden... Gordon, Tony's grasping next-door neighbour... and the way Ken gets killed in every episode. In the premiere, he got squished by Principal Margaret. Then he fell off a giant ferris wheel... got trapped under a collapsing Millennium Tent... fell into the cavernous mouth of Tony's sister, Cherie... got buried under a pile of pigeon guano... crushed by a toppling statue. But, in the next episode, Ken comes back as if nothing ever happened.

In the episode Allan saw, Frank and Ken were running for the Class Presidency. Tony supported Frank's campaign, and tried to bribe and cajole and bully people into voting for him. But to no avail. Frank got beaten by Ken, and by Steve, and by Sue.

"Beaten by a girlie!" taunted Peter.
"Ah, what the **** do you know, you ******," cursed Frank.
"Mmmph mmmph mmmph mmmmmph mmph," added Ken. Everybody laughed. Except Tony. He was not pleased at all.

[that's quite enough South Bank for one day - Ed]

Dunja forwards
The problem is that people today are more beholden to their employments than they ever were to feudal lords and kings.
[hey, enough South Bank already!]

added may 8

Allan
Ken Livingstone, Newly Elected Lord Mayor Of London!
Compleat And Utter Accurancy Corner Writes:
Oh no he's not. Mr Kenneth Robert Livingstone has been elected Mayor of Greater London and Head of the Greater London Authority. The two posts cannot be split without approval from Parliament. Livingstone will be a figurehead to lead the capital into its bold new future (it says here.)

The Lord Mayor of The City and Corporation of London is a wholly different position. It is more honorific than political, is elected by the Guilds of London, and has residual powers within The City of London. The City is about one square mile that contains most of London's banks and financial institutions. The current post-holder is [er] OK, we forget who the current Lord Mayor is. That's how utterly insignificant the post is.

Our final point: do not confuse the two. The Lord Mayor is not Livingstone. Ken is not the Lord Mayor.

tv tittle tattle
may 8

Tobias, welcome.
The Simpsons and I really like Conan O'Brien...
The words "comedy genius" spring to mind.

Still in ob_telly, I notice that itv's top weekly sitcom, "Chums," has a new set of end credits. It's these little things that make the show great. It's still copyright 1999, though. 1110 Saturday (yes, morning) for the next episode. Why the channel's funniest thing other than "Tonight With Trevor McDoughnut" should be stuck away in a kid's slot is beyond me.

Season 2 finale of "The Tribe" aired Saturday. Three points. 1) It's a goodie. Again. 2) The final scene is not at all predictable, even from three minutes out. 3) Further spoilers at the website given in the closing credits.

babs, birtney, billie
may 8

Mark
How right you are.
Credit where it's due: Raz Nitzan tipped me off about this one, in The Tip Sheet. He also suggests we compare and contrast the chorus to "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely" with Dionne's "Heartbreaker," though I'm not quite so sure of that one.

Of course Mrs. Brolin's vocal attributes far outweighing that of young Britney's!
Question: could Birtney carry off a wide range of songs, and do so without Cherion/Martin's production? We'll find out in time.

I wonder who wrote "Opps..."
Cherion & Martin get the credit, the same pairing as half of the Birtster's first album, and many other teen-pop acts (Five, Backstreets, N'Sync...) The Bee Gees are reported to be spending time with their lawyers.

As for being referred to as one of Ms. Spears' knockers, all I can hope is that I come across as a little less manufactured...
Let's face facts. There's no need for Mark to go in for a knee op. (:

Allan
I hear a lot about Britney's Knockers! Arent they Silicone?
Well, some of them are silly cone-heads. Others are quite the sweetest, smartest people you could hope to meet.

Billie - Have you seen the "New Image".
To re-phrase: were you watching television on Saturday morning? She had a certain ubiquity that even Carol Vorderman would find difficult to equal.

the single is okay, a lot better than some of the stuff in the charts.
Talk about damning with faint praise! Is it an "Amazed," a "Man Enough," or merely a "Reload?"

Do you know "Toploader"
TOTP this Friday if not.

But Billie, The British Britney they are calling her!
Who are these "they" anyway? And wasn't Birtney originally described as the USA's Billie? (Smash Hits, 1/99)

added may 10

Sara on Billie (no, not like that...)
yeah - I saw her on an interview yesterday or the day before. she doesn't look all that much different than how she did though...and to me, she looks younger :)
Oh, yes, she has changed her look. Out with the baggy combats and slightly strange tops. In with a more - well - feminine? Less aggressive, certainly.

Billie was around before Britney was, and the only reason she went out of the limelight was because she was dating whats-his-face from that guy band
Oh, you mean thingy off of wotsit. She's welcome to him, IMO. But part of the reason she's been off is that she's been breaking the Far East, where they've liked this kind of thing for many years; and she's been Writing Her Own Material.

but now shes back, and I think thats great.
Good it is. I do get the feeling that there's just a bit too much sugary pop around at the moment though. While it's great in its own way, there has to be something else. Maybe that's why Moby, Santana, Shania, and Travis have been dominating the album listings, and N'Sync dived out of the top 75 after four weeks.

wet wet wet
may 10

Sara
sorry, what is Wet Wet Wet and who is tommy Cunningham?
Wet Wet Wet was a four-piece band from Glasgow, led by Martin (Marti) Pellow, and featuring Tommy Cunningham on bass. Or was it drums? They rose to fame in 1987 with light pop hits "Wishing I Was Lucky" and "Sweet Little Mystery," but returned to their blues-tinged roots on 1988's "Memphis Sessions" and 1989's "Holding Back the River." The hit singles almost dried up until "Goodnight Girl" gained exposure on Corrie just before Christmas 91, giving the group their second #1 hit. Their 1993 Greatest Hits album was widely seen premature, an impression bourne out the following summer when a cover of "Love Is All Around" from "Four Weddings..." spent 15 weeks atop the UK charts. 1995's "10" album was their last significant work, and the group disintegrated amid Pellow's heroin addiction in 1998.

Recommended albums: "Holding Back The River," "High On the Happy Side" (1992). Precious through EMI.

embarrassment
may 12

Anyway, you know how I decline to be closeted about anything. For instance, I was discussing monitor sizes with a bloke to whom I'd just given a larger model just the other day. He wasn't sure it was any bigger, so I measured it and found it was just under an inch larger along the visible diagonal. That caused one of the people overhearing the conversation to burst out laughing, the chap to whom I was talking to close the conversation, and both of them turn bright red and run away.

The latest UK radio listening figures came out yesterday.
Radio 2 did very well, extending the number of people tuning in (reach) and the average hours per listener. Their share (%age of total listening) is still the tops, at 13.2%. Anyone would think they surveyed Mark this quarter (:
Radio 3, 4, 5 all stood still, as did independent Classic FM. But the BBC's pop music station Radio 1 took just 9.9% share, down from 10.8% in the previous quarter. That's a crap figure, and at this rate, they'll have fewer listeners than Radio 2 by the end of the year.
Virgin Radio did very well, increasing reach and hours by around 1/8th, with the share leaping to 3.5%. Talk Radio rebranded as Talk Sport, and slipped from 1.7% to 1.4%. Atlantic 252 also rebranded this quarter, kept the same number of listeners, but found they tuned in for 50 minutes less a week. Their share also slips, to 1.7%. This is what happens when your overnight staff gets sent off to a field in the middle of nowhere!
Locally, Birmingham's BRMB was a massive loser, dropping almost 15% of its listeners. They didn't mention the RAJARs at all. Wolverhampton's The Wolf put on almost 30% more listeners, and added 50% to its share; the fact was item 3 on their news bulletin.

napster
may 12

Paulo again
Since I have discovered the wonders of Napster
Ah, the wonders of sharing MP3 files. Remember, most of the bands putting out their music on the net are unsigned. Most of them are unsigned for one good reason: they're crap.

While MP3s remain a fly in the ointment of the record companies, they're also a great promo tool, similar to the old 7" single (on which, lest we forget, the company lost money.) Many people will download the MP3, like it, and buy the CD.

If they can find the darned thing that is. For instance, try tracking down a record that's been exposed on national radio but isn't a huge company priority. It's impossible, as Mark's tale the other week pointed out. That is bad for the company.

And a word on the Metallica lawsuit. Here are 300,000 people who like Metallica. Who like them enough to search out and find one or more of their tracks. They're perfect for a marketing campaign, something tailored to their potential desires, or just access to www.larsharddrive.com. Instead, the band chooses to alienate their fans (coz that's what they are, fans) by putting them through a legal process of dubious standing. The whiff of cordite, scorched leather and charred human tissue filled the air...

-Spandau Ballet's "How many lies" and "Through the barricades". The latter is actually a very good ballad, not cheesy at all.
Whoever said it was cheesy? Both these tracks are from the Spand's late period, when the British public had just about given up on them. Make of that what you will.

-Level 42's "Running in the family" and "Lessons in love" (what happened to them, anyway?)
Albums in 91, 95, and 97 met with large, medium and minimal public interest. The band - reduced to Mark King and session musicians by this point - called it a day in 98.

-George Michael's "I want your sex". I still remember the scandal caused by this song when I was 15; listening to it again, I'm almost embarrased to admit that I used to like it.
I'm glad you got the chance. It was just about the last record the BBC banned from airplay, so I didn't hear it until Atlantic's test transmissions in 1989.

-Jann Arden's "Insensitive".
If you can come to MT2, and I can get the CD I want, this makes the soundtrack thereof.

-Bruce Hornsby's "That's the way it is".
Which is just such a classic. Up there with "The Boys of Summer."

eurosong review
may 16

Karen
Wow, it seems Denmark has won the Eurovision contest!
Er, which Eurovision contest? Les Jeux Sans Frontieres? The Most Boring Cartoon Played Without Words? Oh, the Eurovision Song Contest. Yes, they have rather.

My friend called completely astounded 10 minutes into the part, where points are given, so for the first time in 10 years or so I actually watched some of it. What the hell happened?
Wadde hadde dudde da indeed. Well, to put it simply, Denmark got more votes than any other country, and hence won.

A slightly longer explanation: With six of the first nine songs being of high quality, they all tended to get lost in a morass as the contest wore on. Standout songs, such as Denmark's slow number, Ireland's cliches, or the oddities from Germany, Sweden and Latvia, stood out, picked up votes, and did very well.

Ulrike
the only thing i regretted is that so few states seem to have songs in their own languages, because it's so difficult to distinguish them. :)
Well, .il .uk .fr .mt .be .cy .es .de .ch .cr .mc .tr .ie sung primarily in their national tongue (or one of them.) That's one more than half the contest.

we found that Cyprus had an interesting song, beautifully sung in their own language and it was pity that they weren't rewarded for it.
While I disagree with the assessment of the song, only regional votes from Malta, Croatia, Macedonia saved it from the NUL. It deserved better, but last year's deserved a lot more.

i wasn't too fond of the Swedish song either, dunno why.
Like I said, it's trying to be heavy metal. About time, too.

but the singer from Latvia was cute
I'm not going to disagree with that one (:O

and the Icelandic singer was gorgeous If you say so. Don't quite see it myself, but each to their own.

Sascha
France, former chanson-country No.1 made only 5 points
Amazingly, France has never been a big Eurosong country. It was the Dutch in the 60s, Scandanavia in the 70s, Middle Europe in the 80s and Ireland in the 90s.

I can't remember that the UK ever made so few points.
Never, at least under the current scoring system.

Danmark would never had the slightest chance if they had to sing in Danish.
It would have led to a Maltese victory, I'm sure.

huge thanks to fans in Austria and Spain for their 12 points for Stefan Raab :))
I'm more interested in Spain's 8 to Austria. Paulo's flatmate must have run up a humungous phone bill just to impress some Austrian lass.

Swedish TV did really a brilliant job IMHO. I even loved the short trailers introducing the next country. (German "Knackwurst"... big LOL!)
Silly postcards, dodgy presenters, cheap set, but it gelled on the night. A Good Show.

I wonder if and how this Song Contest was celebrated in other countries?
Lots and lots of little parties, but no big ones like in Germany.

Allan
I noticed Charlotte Nilsson wasnt there. Isnt the previous winner supposed to hand over the trophy?
It is the custom, but Charlotte was unable to agree with SVT on some matter or other, and told them to stuff themselves.

I LIKED the Denmark winner, the two old boys reminded me of the 1994 winners Charlie McGettigan & Paul Harrington who won with Rock N Roll Kids,
aka "We Don't Want To Hold Your Feckin' Contest Next Year." No, that didn't win Eurosong 94. The interval act did.

Karen
Don't they have to sing their songs in their own languages anymore?
No. That rule went out for the '99 contest.

shimelle
my vote was going to Croatia. sadly i'm an idiot
Voting for Croatia? I would make some snide comment, only it's shimelle's first Eurosong, and it's not polite to make such fun.

because it made us feel like we were at the bar downstairs from cage and fish. (speaking of which...when is the new series due??? i need my ally!)
About a month, perhaps a touch more.

denmark reminded me of an all-white, danish version of hooty and the blowfish. that notably used the same voice filter as cher did in believe. trivia, we know.
As picked up by Ken Bruce on the radio, and numerous commentators to the ESC list.

what exactly does the title of the german song mean in english? i'm sure it's prolly be mentioned and i missed it,
"What do you have there?" was the subtitle, "What the heck is that?" a looser translation.

hurrahville
may 18

Shana
we our proud to present ourselves, as Jonathan and Shana Fischer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hurrah!

   .   :     .
  .      :    ;  .
 ;   , .    :
      .   ,   ;

[throwing confetti]

wedding pictures wil be developed sometime next week if we have the money. and hopefully we'll be able to snippage wedding video and convert it into some kind of puter format.... prolly realvideo, but we'll see.
Oh, goody. Be there in a sort of vicarious manner. Can't wait. Really can't.

Anyway, further congratulations, it's The Latest Listie Wedding, and hurrah! again from here.

Congrats also to Andrea. Obtaining a Masters is a major achievement for anyone, and it's especially valuable for those of us who have lived through your tales and willed you on every step of the way.

Still in hurrah-ful mode, Bridget
We had our Immigration Interview. We handed in applications, forms, documents, and other goodies,
Chocolate brownies? Timbits? (Sorry, that's Immigration Canada.)

What a coincidence...we love talking about us!
Most people do, and at quite some length. Unlike many other people (in real life, not so much here) the tale of Bridget_and_Tim is recounted in an eloquent, gripping manner. It's a page-turner.

I hold a Bridging Visa A, which means when my electronic visa runs out in 2 weeks, I still get to stay, up until they give me their assessment, in which case I will become a temporary resident.
This sounds good. Very impressive.

It takes up to 2 years to be accepted as a perminent resident, but there will also be no problems with that.
Oh, goodie.

Today we were 99% assured that I'll live here for the rest of my life. Yay!
Indeed. Does that mean we have to turn your name upside down, to read Tegdrib? (:

[First pedant to point out that that's actually Birdget reversed gets shot. Tegdrib is far easier to pronounce.]

fast food
may 21

Kati
Pizza Hut is considered a restaurant chain here, not a fast food place. Like, when you arrive you're guided to your table by a waiter and it's all polite again.
It's like that in the UK, too. The only place I've seen Pizza Hut as a fast-food place is somewhere in The Path, Toronto. (Scotia Plaza? One block south of Eaton's, IIRC.)

Ulrike
the theme weeks McDonald's has. does Mcdonald's have those at the USA or at hungary (or anywhere else), too? like *Asian Week* or *texan week* or something the like. :)
They do occasional offers here, but they last a month. For instance, last summer was a curryburger (!), January was really low prices on the basic burger, and there's something for kids right now. The campaigns are often accompanied by some witty television commercials.

Gopher (hello)
Junk food for the veggie masses!!!
I still reckon there's nothing nicer than a packet of sandwiches. Slightly healthier than a burger, too.

Sarah
Daytime TV really bites! lol
Don't watch Richard And Judy. They suck. But not on air, there they just go zzz. Watch moremusic, or teletoon, or the Test match live.

Sara
after almost two years of waiting (since August of 1998) we finally got our papers back from the home office!!!!!
Halle-bleddy-lujah! No, don't pull your finger out, Home Office, we can wait forever. Were they parchments when you sent them in (:

I thought all of them were pretty polite, but *shrugs* maybe thats just me
All much of a muchness, if you ask me.
For the record, Sara is referring to attendants in fast food eateries, not the Home Orifice. The staff at the latter would be better replaced by a mindless robot. It would accomplish the exact same work (nil,) but wouldn't need to be paid.

mcdonalds ice cream is the best around of ANY of the fast food chains
That's as maybe, but it's not Greg's.

Kati
EVERY TIME some guy at the BK burnt the fries or the hamburgers the fire alarm went off and the security doors closed and once even the watering thing started off. :)
Nasty. Sounds a bit like one of my halls at uni. One of the smoke detectors was too sensitive, and would explode when someone cooked in the adjoining kitchen. Caused 300 people to traipse over the lawn. Not popular.

Does anyone buy Happy Meals for the toys?? (I sometimes do)
I don't, but I know people who do.

lessons learned
may 23

Lessons learned from Saturday...
1) Standing next to a pneumatic drill scanning the crowd for vaguely familiar faces is not good.
2) Specifying an exact place to meet is good.
3) Oversleeping is not good.
4) Being able to talk away from a phone box next to an overflowing public lavatory is not good.
5) Having something to distinguish people from the crowd is good.

So, with that in mind, let me suggest the next meeting takes place at The Bench On Marylebone Green. There is only one bench, there is only one Marylebone Green. Seeing as how Marylebone Green is an open space, it's easier to scan for vaguely recognised faces than a busy street. And as it's part of a park, there will be no pneumatic drills doing my head in.

Of course, if some old dear gets to the bench first, it would be impolite to boot her from it. We're not US television execs, now. In this case, we would logically wait on the grass (or under a tree) nearby and pounce should she vacate.

Seeing as how I'll be commuting on a line served by Bearded Wonder When It'll Get In Trains, a mobile will be essential, otherwise I shall suffer overcooked or previously heated meals. I'll be able to use that (call or receive) for the next meeting. For a recognisable gimmick, I carry a red rucksack everywhere. Red. A bit like Angela Chase's. Might ring a bell or two, help to stand out in a crowd. (Dammit, Cory, that's an ON moment.)

Sadly, changing the location will do nothing to stop people oversleeping. You're on your own when it comes to that one. (:

To the wider list: is anyone expecting to come to the UK during this summer? If so, let me know, and we'll see what can be done. If not, may I suggest Saturday June 24 as a potential date?

country file
may 25

Amazing Fact Time! Judy
When it rains, the ground gets wet.
I didn't believe a word of that, so put it to the test. Swoosh back to Thursday afternoon, Birmingham city centre. It's 5:25, and I'm at the High Street entrance. The clouds open, and it rains pet stores. According to some moisture detectors scattered around, the ground did, indeed, get wet. Very wet. So did I. ):

So, what's the next Amazing Fact? See later on...

What do young Irish people do?
Why Irish people in particular? This leads me onto something that got me rather annoyed, in a "last item on PM" kinda slightly irritated way. But it's a rant, and it's been at least ten seconds since my last one. (:

In France, it's illegal to trade in Nazi memorabilia. In the USA, it's not. Back in the dim and distant 1980s, such national restrictions meant something, as it was very difficult to conduct commercial transactions over the Atlantic Ocean. Then, in the late 1990s, along came internet auction sites, shrinking the world enough to make it possible for French people to buy these objects.

Enter the French courts. In a judgement of mind-boggling petty-mindedness, the court rules that it's illegal to access (not buy from, merely access) sites selling such items, and orders a well-known web portal to devise a techie way to enforce this ruling.

Just for once, my flabber is totally gasted. The issue at hand can be dealt with far more easily by the existing means of checking customs labels. You know, those little green stickers you have to put on parcels crossing national borders.

The court has brought itself into disrepute, by giving an order that cannot be enforced 100%. Should the web portal be unable to comply - and they can't, that's the nature of the beast - it's them that will face the rap, not the judge handing out six impossible things to do before breakfast.

On a wider scale, I wonder why they bothered. The nation state is on its last legs. Just as Italy formed out of lots of city states, so the existing countries will gradually lose their influence. France will stop existing. It might split into regions centred on Britanny, Paris, Toulouse, Marseilles, Lyon. Lens may become the centre of what we now know as northern France and Belgium, while Strasbourg's influence will stretch well into Germany.

With national boundaries becoming an increasing anachronism, it annoys me to find courts continuing to adopt the classic ostrich position. It's reasonable that they try to cling on to power for as long as they have it, but this sort of decision merely serves as a marker of the institution's irrelevance.

So, to return to Judy's friend. What do young Irish people do that's different from people elsewhere in the world? Why is it different? Why is it the same? The latter questions would make for a more illuminating talk, I suggest.

disclaimer
may 25

This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

Adapted from a contribution by russ graham to mhp-chat

new tv
may 28

So I was reading Aaron Barnhart's piece on the summer TV schedules in the US. (that's tvbarn.com - all tv, all the time.) And I notice Comedy Central has its Premiere Week in mid-June.

Novelties include The League of Gentlemen, in which three male actors play all the citizens of a small town. "Gosh," thinks I. "Sounds a lot like a Radio 4 comedy show from 1998, one that transferred to BBC2 the following year."

Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, a game show in which contestants are picked from the audience, with the winner immediately whisked away on their grand (or not-so-grand) getaway. "Hey! Will that be presented by concept originator Chris 'Ginger' Evans? And can they keep him? It's only eight years since Channel Four premiered the show, a mere six years since it last aired.

No mention in the press release of CC picking up ITV's laugh-a-millennium 'situation' 'comedy' Days Like These, but that must be an oversight on the press office's part.

Sorry, those kids on the ads are having a what? A slipper party? Oh, slumber. The diction on these commercials is abysmal. They think they can get away with US ads here. Nope. Gold Blend, anyone?

electing maggie
may 28

Allan
Yes, Margaret was a charactor! A formidable person, although she was seen as tough, dont forget the state Britain was in at the time she was elected, lots of strikes
Lots of strikes. An average of one working day lost per economically active individual during the six months beginning 10/78.

and runaway inflation.
Much of that could be put down to the major rises in oil prices as a result of the Iranian revolution in early 79. OTOH, the Callaghan administration was constrained by its lack of majority and looming election from taking effective action.

The problem was that she went too far and rather that containing the Unions, removed their power as a major negotiating force, leaving the workers open to exploitation.
There's a big gap between allowing unions to run the country, as appeared to be the case in the 74-79 Labour administration, and the state of unions when the 97-05 NuLab administration came in. Though the NuLabour group has made very few changes to the law, the change seems to have been a shift in culture.

Still when one sees the creature that is now resident at no 10, even David Mellor seems tolerable! Chelsea strip and all!
What's Gordon Brown done to offend you? (Please keep your answer to one sheet of A4.) No, David Mellor can go back to having nothing to say about everything, and being talked over whenever he appears on "The Day Today."

At least the papers have started to show less of the "Blair Witch Project" or Leo as they have decided to call it.
Odd, I thought they called it Cherie (:

the baby looks just like William Hague!
I think the baby will be asking its mother for legal advice over that slur.

~I wanna be elected!~
~Alice Cooper~
And who can forget Mr Bean's epic cover of the number?

England has at last found a cricket team it can beat without the help of match fixing!
Allegedly. Very, very allegedly.

ZIMBABWE!
For the baseball fans, this is like the Cincinnati Reds beating the Las Vegas Car Mechanics. It's not exactly difficult.

Of course the West Indies will thrash us as ever,
Don't count on it. The last five series (Eng 91, 95; WI 90, 94, 98) have all been close, with some great cricket played. Here's to a great summer.

liquid news
may 28

It won't be a great summer for Pumpkins fans, though, seeing as how the most smashing group in rock history will call it a day at the end of the year. The phrase "it's a shame" springs to mind, as does mild relief that they're getting out before they start making low-quality recordings.

Couple of other news stories you've all probably missed. Minor movie star Huge Grant (Notting Hill, Four Weddings) has split with long-standing girlfriend Liz Hurley (Austin Powers I.) It all started when Liz asked how she looked, and Hugh said she looked "simply Divine, darling."

And a man was hospitalised from a luxury hotel this week, after a toiler cleaner became jammed in his rectum. The businessman, visiting Oxford, said that he slipped on soap while showering, and fell in this awkward manner. A short statement landed on our fax machine shortly after, from well-known hamster owner Richard Gere. It read, "See! Accidents do happen!"

food mixers
may 30

our Angela (og god, I sound like Cilla Black in my head! Help!)
Quick, operator, what's the number for 911? What oor shim needs is a detox course away from all things Liverpudlian or vaguely tacky. I recommend Die Teletubbien, mit Tinky-Winky und die Uberball den Laa-Laa.

Tweenie clock, where will it stop? Magic Food Mixer time!
Those things can do anything, possibly even whip up annoying boys that can't be detached from their handsfree phones.
Not sure the UK versions of these work too well. I find that the mobiles tend to come away after a good kicking. Very few things will withstand the might of a Doc Marten, still less when it's got a leg on the end of it.

Someday a big old Kitchenaid is going straight to the top of my wedding list, I tell you. It's not only an essential tool for mixing, baking, making icing, and other such kitcheny uses, it will also curl your hair, shred your mail, make glitter, apply soap suds to your car
You describe Mark in the sweetest of terms (:

and it makes a useful exercise tool for your pet hamster.
Ah, now that would be the Richard Gere attachment. I don't think it comes on the model you've got. At least, I hope it doesn't.

euro oh-oh
may 30

Karen
So now that the national football seasons are sorta winding down and the European Championships are looming nearby, how about a few qualified guess as to who will win?
The Netherlands. Home advantage will tell.

That said, it's a very, very close contest. Unlike the World Cup, there are no sides that clearly aren't going to get past the opening phase. Even little Slovenia might progress. It's going to be tight, close, exciting, and that's just the Italian side's shirts.

First off, I don't believe Denmark's team is going far this time, but you never know.
Who are they playing in the opening round again? .cz, .fr and .nl. Given that I'm tipping the Dutch to win the tournament, I'd better pick them to get through their group. Could be tight for the other slot. And I recall writing off Denmark in some other European contest the other week at my peril.

Readers might also recall the recent CONCACAF Gold Cup, the equivalent continental tournament for North America. After a string of upsets, the final was between unfancied Trinidad and Tobago, and no-hopers Canada. The Leafs won.

I was watching the England-Brazil game yesterday,
Oh, bad luck.

Mr Beckham needs a head. Of hair, I mean. Yuck!
He can't have one of those, his brains will start falling out. And there's precious little of them to begin with.

I'm yet again hoping for Petey Sampras to whip some ass all around. He plays with such finesse and moves like a god on the court.
...until he loses his opening round game in five sets. As Marvin Martian would say, back to the old drawing board.

It would be nice to see Tauziat come through and win something, but then it would be great to see Dokic or Stevenson continue the promise they showed at Wimbledon last year. Wait, there's a men's tournament as well? Oh, some unknown to win that again.

Karen (who's team won Silver Medals today, so they get to play qualifying matches for CL)
Ah, into the European League Qualifying Round... 2, is it?