A Cowboy's Guide to Life

• Don't squat with your spurs on.
• Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
• It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
• Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
• Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
• Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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