The real world - What you want to read - Articles about Israel

Prescriptions

Before I visited Israel last time, I went to my doctor to get prescriptions for the medicines that I'll be needing. I took these prescriptions over to a drug store in Israel.

Would you believe they wouldn't fill it? That's right. He didn't even recognize the names of the pharmaceuticals that were written on it. Then he told me that when I'm in Israel, I should use Israeli drugs. I mean, come on. We're talking health here, and maybe life and death. I'll bet they don't even *have* these ailments here in Israel. A man could drop dead in the middle of the street, and they'll still tell his family to use Israeli drugs.

I also can't believe how tiny the average Israeli medicine cabinet is. I was visiting my friend Ilana the other day, and I needed a good pain killer. The heat here has me popping pills right and left. She goes and gets me an Acamol. Back home, I have at least four different kinds of aspirin, to say nothing of the real stuff, if you get my drift.

I also have inhalers, and I don't even have a breathing problem yet - but you never know. You gotta be ready. You don't want to be stuck one night, choking and gasping for air, and without the right inhaler handy. My medicine cabinet has three doors, floor to ceiling, the way it should be.

Now I've been taking these drugs for years, and if that druggist doesn't understand what they are, then he shouldn't be running a drug store. I had to have them sent to me urgently on a drop lift from an airplane. Otherwise - and this is the absolute truth - I probably would have died flat out on the floor!

Really, now, what do you have drug stores for if you don't stock those simple, basic drugs that I've been taking for years. No wonder everybody in Israel is sick.

Buses

I think I can do Israel a major service.

I was in Israel and the bus was practically silent.

It was boring, let me tell you. Sure, some people were talking to each other from right to left, but who cares about that?

So I asked the driver about the name of the bus he was driving. He actually pronounces both Es in his Egged bus. I guess you get Egged on no matter what, hah hah. Egged's color is green, to remind you of Tarzan's mode of transportation - green vines. Just grab on and swing!

So, here's what I did. I got in with my friend, and we entertained everybody with these really cool rock songs. I livened up the bus with my guitar. I'm sure they all appreciated it.

As a matter of fact, people kept turning around and looking at us while we were doing it. That's probably because they didn't know how to tell us thank you in English, but their faces showed that they were having a good time. I'm sure they were, because I understand what is going on in the Israeli mind.

Television

Why don't you guys have quality HDTV over there like we do? You can barely make out what's on the screen.

How do I get CNN? Israeli news stations don't always offer subtitles. Are you censoring things that you don't want Americans to know about? What are you hiding from us? I have the right to know. I'm going to call my Congressman.

Prices

The prices of everything in Israel are outlandish. I was checking out some of the basics in Israel so that I can see if I could manage over there. Well, the place is too expensive for me.

I checked out the prices of hotel rooms. You know that it's more expensive to get a hotel room in your country than in Guatemala City? That's right. I don't know how you Israelis manage with things like that.

Same with the prices of rental cars.

I had to fill up my rental car with gasoline and I was horrified to discover how much it cost. You know, I saw the price at the gasoline station and when I converted it to real, green money, it looked like it was basically the same thing as what I pay back home. But then I discovered that although it's the same price, over there you only get like about a quart for this amount of money and back home I can get like four quarts or a gallon for that amount of money.

That's no way for anybody to live.

Now I don't know what you regular guys do, and I don't know how you pay for this gasoline, and I don't really care. I do know that if you want to attract tourists, then you better subsidize the price of gasoline for us, because otherwise we're just not going to buy it.

And it's not just gasoline.

I checked out some more of the basic products, like the cost of a calling card to the US of A, which is where I need to call, and it's just unbelieveable. These are the basics, and if you Israelis can't figure out a way to subsidize them, then there's no way that you're going to be able to get me to live over there. Your country is just too expensive. I can't wait to go to - where's my next stop? - Oh, yes, Paris. I'm sure they care more about their tourists.

Electricity

Why don't you guys use 110 volt electricity like we do? Why do you guys have to be different for? 110 isn't good enough for you? Is there anything special about two hundred and twenty volts?

Yeah, I heard you say that the whole world uses two hundred and twenty volts and that we're the guys who are different, because only the United States and Canada use 110 volts and that may be true but we use a whole lot more electricity than all the rest of the world combined and that means that everybody should go where the big time people are. You would save a lot of money by being able to get all 110 volt appliances. Don't you know how much cheaper it costs by us in the United States than over in your place? You should all join us. The whole world should change their electricity to the way that we have our electricity and then everything would be cheaper for everybody. Isn't that the way you want it? Wouldn't you like to have cheaper things? Do you like spending more for your appliances? When are you guys going to see the way to do things right and to join the real world, to join us? Do you really have to be different? Is it on purpose that you're different? That all the rest of you guys all over the world are different from us?

Where do you want to go now?