Mom said I have to wear this stupid make up for the play. She said it’s so everyone can see my eyes and my mouth better when I’m on stage. Well, if that’s true, why did she spray me with so much perfume? The audience isn’t going to be able to smell me, is it?

I think she’s enjoying this almost as much as you are.

You know, I really wish you’d let me change back into my boy clothes.