Songs by Canadian Cash for the SAINTS AND SPINNERS

[The Mudbowl Privateers] sung to Stan Rogers' famous Barrett's Privateers

[The Tall Guy] sung to Boney M's cult favorite 80's song Rasputin

[My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Zone)] sung to Neil Young's My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue)

[When we Dump the Disc] sung to my personal fav. song - Nat King Cole's When I Fall in Love

Songs by Canadian Cash for other people:

[Meghan B. Goode] sung to Chuck Berry's "out of this world" 50's classic Johnny B. Goode

[The Irish Lassie] sung to Brian Bower's humourous song The Scotsman

[Pretty Cool for a Dead Fool] sung to The Offspring's annoying song Pretty Fly for a White Guy

[Into Everything (but you)] sung to the tune of Into Everything from Moist's "Silver" CD (1994)

[Score No. 5] sung to Lou Bega's 1999 hit Mambo #5

Saints and Spinners

MUDBOWL PRIVATEERS

(Sung to Stan Rogers' "BARRETT'S PRIVATEERS")

Oh, the year was 1998,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
A letter of note came from "The Webb"
To the muddiest field where we've ever bled

CHORUS:
God damn them all!
We were told this field was worth it's weight in gold
We'd slide and slip, and lose our grip
Now we're a bloody muddy team on an Ottawa night
And next to you we look quite a fright!

Oh, Captain Burns he cried the town,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
For twenty brave souls all discers who
would make for him the Spinners crew.
(chorus)

The Saints and Spinners were a sickening sight,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
There was Fearless Frank who got sent for a drag,
And Dangerous Dan cleaning discs with a rag.
(chorus)

On All-Hallows Eve we came to play,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
When a bloody great team hove in sight,
With our broken limbs we made to fight!
(chorus)

This Maritime team was used to mud,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
They were fast and slick and made their plays,
But to knock �em down took the Spinners two days.
(chorus)

Then at length we pulled up even,
HOW WE WISH WE'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
We heard a crack and then an awful din,
And with one long play, the Madness stove us in.

So here I lay in my 33rd year,
HOW I WISH I'D NEVER PLAYED THERE NOW!
It's been 6 long years since I made those plays,
And I just got cleaned up yesterday.
(chorus)

© Canadian Cash, Official Minstrel to the Saints and Spinners

Saints and Spinners vs. Ultimate Maritime Madness (late October, 1998)

Fall League, O.C.U.A.

Saints and Spinners

THE TALL GUY

(Sung to Boney M's cult-favorite 80's song Rasputin)

Guys:	There was a gifted man, in Ottawa long ago
Girls:	He was big and tall, in his eyes a certain glow
Guys:	The Saints looked up at him with terror and with fear
Girls:	But to his teams chicks he was such a lovely dear
Guys:	He could catch a disc right out of the air
	Full of energy and speed
	But he also freaked us out with his stare
	And he made us bleed.
ALL:	AI AI THE TALL GUY
Girls:	He almost made us cry
Guys:	This was a dude who really was huge
ALL:	AI AI THE TALL GUY
Girls:	His hands touched the sky
Guys:	It made us think, we should've tried luge!

Saints and Spinners

MY MY, HEY HEY (OUT OF THE ZONE)

(Sung to Neil Young's MY MY, HEY HEY (OUT OF THE BLUE))

My my, hey hey
(Opponents name) are here to stay
Better to run it out,
than to throw it away,
My my, hey hey

It's out of the zone, back to man-to-man
They gave it up, but they took it back
And once they're gone, you can never catch up
When they're out of the zone,
back to man-to-man

Hey hey, my my
Saints and Spinners will never die
There's more to your team
Than meets the eye
Hey hey, my my.

© Canadian Cash, Official Minstrel to the Saints and Spinners

Saints and Spinners

WHEN WE DUMP THE DISC

(Sung to Nat King Cole's WHEN I FALL IN LOVE)

When we dump the disc
it will fly forever
Or we'll never dump that disc
In a restless game
like this is,
The play is over before it's begun
And too many
"Hail Mary" passes
Seemed to vanish right in to the sun.

When we formed the cup,
we sucked completely
So we rarely formed that cup
And the moment that we felt that
you felt that way too,
Is when we dumped the disc to you.
And the moment that we felt that
you felt that way too,
Is when we dumped the disc to you.

© Canadian Cash, Official Minstrel to the Saints and Spinners

Canadian Cash

MEGHAN B. GOODE

(Sung to Chuck Berry's JOHNNY B. GOODE)

Way down the Richmond Road far from New Orleans,
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens...
There stood a lonely house made of earth and wood,
Where lived a straight-haired girl named Meghan B. Goode...
Who never ever learned to sing or dance so well,
But she could write a poem just like dinging a bell.

Go Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Meghan B. Goode

She used to carry an air gun in her fanny pack
Or sit beneath the tree by the railroad track.
Oh, the engineer would see �er sittin' in the shade,
Shootin' at the birds - they were so're afraid.
Well, people passing by they would stop and say
Oh my but that little straight-haired girl would pay!

Go Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Go Meghan Go, Go
Meghan B. Goode

Her mother told her someday she would be a star,
Too bad for her it would be in a nudie bar.
Many people coming from miles around
To see you let down your hair when the sun go down
Maybe some day your name will be in lights
Saying Meghan B. Goode tonight!

Go Go
Go Meghan Go
Go Go Go Meghan Go
Go Go Go Meghan Go
Go Go Go Meghan Go
Go
Meghan B. Goode...

© Canadian Cash, a.k.a. Stompin' Don

Canadian Cash

THE IRISH LASSIE

(Sung to Brian Bower's THE SCOTSMAN)

Well an Irish lass in skirt left the bar one evenin' fair.
And one could tell by how she'd walk that she'd drunk more than her share.
She fumbled �round until she could no longer keep �er feet,
And she stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh,
Ring-die-diddle-eee-aye-oh.
Oh, she stumbled off into grass to sleep beside the street.

About that time two young and handsome lads just happened by.
One says to the other with a twinkle in his eye,
"See yon sleepin' lassie, I had a class with her last term.
I wonder if those breasts are real and if they are so firm?

Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh,
Ring-die-diddle-eee-aye-oh.
I wonder if those breasts are real and if they are so firm?

They crept up on that sleeping lassie, quiet as could be.
And parted up her blouse just a bit so they could see.
And there behold for them to view beneath her Irish shirt,
was nothing more than God had graced her with upon her birth.

Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh,
Ring-die-diddle-eee-aye-oh.
Was nothing more than God had graced her with upon her birth.

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
around the bonny bra the lassie's shirt did part and show.

Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh,
Ring-die-diddle-eee-aye-oh.
Around the bonny bra the lassie's shirt did part and show.

Now the lassie woke to nature's call and stumbled to'rards the trees.
Behind the bush she looks right down and jumps at what she sees.
And in a startled voice, she says to what's before her eyes
"Aah, babes I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!"

Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh,
Ring-die-diddle-eee-aye-oh.
"Aah, babes I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!"

© Canadian Cash, a.k.a. Stompin' Don

Canadian Cash

PRETTY COOL FOR A DEAD FOOL

(Sung to The Offspring's PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY)

James Dean

  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!

And all the girlies say I'm pretty cool for a dead fool

Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco se�s

You know its kinda hard just to get along today
I've been dead for twenty years, but I fake it anyway
No one has a clue, and no one really cares
And every time I go out, I like to wear my flares!

So don't debate, just take the bait
You know they really don't see it anyway
I'm not Jimmy Dean, or Steve McQueen
Farewell to arms and all your charms!
So if we don't date, �cause you think I'm a flake,
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs dead heroes
Hey, hey, do the dew with me!

  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!

And all the girlies say I'm pretty cool for a dead fool

I need some new tunes, yeah, the old ones were destroyed
But I never heard of Ice Cube so I popped in Pink Floyd
I passed a guy named Clint, and cranked it up a notch
If he don't like my music, I'll kick him in the crotch!

So don't debate, just take the bait
You know they really don't see it anyway
I'm not Jimmy Dean, or Steve McQueen
Farewell to arms and all your charms!
So if we don't date, �cause you think I'm a flake,
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world loves dead heroes
Hey, hey, do the dew with me!

Now I'm getting a tattoo, yeah, I'm getting it done
I asked for Greased Lightning, but I got a grease gun
My pals say I'm so retro, they tell me that's it's good
And in my own mind, I'm thinking "Here comes Hollywood"!

James Dean

  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!
  Dew it with me baby, uh huh, uh huh!

Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco se�s

So don't debate, just take the bait
You know they really don't see it anyway
I'm not Jimmy Dean, or Steve McQueen
Farewell to arms and all your charms!
So if we don't date, �cause you think I'm a flake,
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs dead heroes
This world loves dead heroes
Let's find some more dead heroes
Hey, hey, do the dew with me!

© Canadian Cash, a.k.a. Stompin' Don

Canadian Cash

INTO EVERYTHING (but you)

Sung to Moist's INTO EVERYTHING

by Canadian Cash

[This one is dedicated to my friend Meghan, who has fallen head over heals for the
lead singer of Moist, David Usher. This song was written to imply that perhaps
this singer does not like women... so she should stop agonizing herself over him.]

Quarter slot, the pictures hot
why are chicks so damn ugly?
crossdresser is entering the show
Oooh hoe, homosexual intellectual
I feel so raw, it makes me crazy
pocket full of quarters left to go.
I said I'm fine, do the crime
knock me up, it never meant that much
wake up, wake up he's here again
fuzzy navel, down it all,
one more drink to wipe her face away, away aaay heyyyy,
into everything, into everything, into everything... but you.

My girl is at home, I'm all alone
why are chicks so damn ugly?
his face is blurred without a word to say
Aaay heeyy, I apply the cream and vasoline
just one thrust can be so easy,
never a thought of you along the way
I said I'm fine, do the crime
knock me up, it never meant that much
wake up, wake up he's here again!
on a whim got in his car
heard the shot ring out it seemed so far away, away aaay heyyyy,
into everything, I do everything, enter everything... but you.

into everything, into everything, into everything, into everything
into everything, into everything, into everything, into everything
into everything, I do everything, enter everything... but you.
into everything, I do everything, enter everything... but you!

quarter slot the pictures hot
why are chicks so damn ugly?
crossdresser is leaving the show,
homosexual intellectual, I feel so raw, he drives me crazy
pocket full of quarters left to go, to go, to go now.....

© Canadian Cash, a.k.a. Stompin' Don

Canadian Cash

SCORE No. 5

(Sung to Lou Vega's MAMBO #5

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is How To Score Five!

One, two, three, four, five
Go flying down the piste, legs in over-drive...
To the end of the line, in over-time the ref says
I got a yellow card, but I really don't want it!
Good time like I had last week,
I must lunge deep, �cause talk is cheap.
I like hand hits, toe hits, fleching and hitting,
And as I land �em, you know it feels sweet, huh!

So what can I do against this big guy, Manu?
To me fencing is such a cool sport,
Anything goes, it's all art, let me try it
Gotta hope the other guy buys it!

A little disengage, and then you hit,
A little bit of footwork makes us fit.
A little bit of blade work is all we need,
A little bit of team work, and we'll succeed.
A few more hand hits is what we'll get
A few more toe hits will make �em sweat
A few more feints to make �em guess
A few more points to our success!

How to score five !

En Garde, pret, allez - sets us loose to play
Parry carte to the heart, do it right from the start.
Carte jaune, carte rouge, pas de carton noir,
Keep �em to yourself, you know I'm going far!
Snap your wrist once, snap your wrist twice,
And if it box goes �beep' then you're doing it right.

A little disengage, and then you hit,
A little bit of footwork makes us fit.
A little bit of blade work is all we need,
A little bit of team work, and we'll succeed.
A few more hand hits is what we'll get
A few more toe hits will make �em sweat
A few more feints to make �em guess
A few more points to our success!

I do � all to � score some points on a foe like you,
�Cause you can't run, and you can't hide,
You and me gonna find out why!

How to score five !

© Canadian Cash, a.k.a. Stompin' Don

Perhaps inspired by the satirical Bobby Badland Random Poetry Generator from UPEI's 80's student newspaper, The Gem, where I was a key "staph member," The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator takes the next logical satirical step into music...

If you want to write your own satirical, comedic or thematic music, try to keep on-track with the originals at the best source for lyrics on-line on the planet. They are currently undergoing some legal troubles, but their site should be back eventually. Sign the growing petition at their site to offer them some support.

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