Your hosts are the Usual Idiots.
Enough niceness. Back to hot pokers this week.
Opening match: Hugh Morrus v. Psychosis. Pretty typical big man v. luchadore match. Morrus actually sells a lot for the P-Man, including a tope con hilo. Fast forward to the ending, as Psychosis hits a "spinning flying body attack" from the top rope, but misses the moonsault, allowing Morrus to hit his own for the pin. Nothing terrible about the match, but Tony's "flying body attack" gets a hot poker, and jobbing a former LWO member gets another. And today we'll be shoving them up Big Poochie's ass, for pushing Terry Taylor out.
Review of last week's B-Team Show.
Chris Jericho v. Silver King. Look, another ex-LWO guy. Think he'll lose? Crowd starts -- get this -- a Ralphus chant. I shit you not. We come back with Jericho getting catapulted over the top rope and tope-ed. Nice combo. Jericho reverses a powerslam into an inverted suplex (called CORRECTLY by Tony!) and stomps Silver King while the Idiots make fun of Ralphus. Fighting outside, and when we get back in, Silver King grabs his trusty lassoo (one guy uses a cattle prod, another uses a lassoo...are we based in Arkansas or something?) and chokes out Jericho. Uh, isn't that a DQ? Well, anyway, the match continues as Silver King pulls out the helicopter slam (whoa, haven't see that in a while) and a somersault legdrop for two, but when he goes to the top, Jericho slams him off and applies the Liontamer for the submission. This could be the last time you see Jericho win until July. No pokers needed, good match.
Flair-Hogan promo.
Super Calo v. Fit Finlay. What is this, the "Job the Luchadores" show? Long, long, long Finlay squash. The Idiots have the chutzpah, the mitigated GALL, to state that the LWO is BETTER OFF without Eddy. This despite the fact that LWO members lost the first two matches tonight. Calo gets some token offense, but goes to the top and crotches himself for no adequately explained reason, allowing a tombstone from Fit for the pin. A hot poker for that DUMB-ASS comment about the LWO.
Tournament match: Bobby Duncam Jr. & Mike Enos v. Wrath & Van Hammer. We head to the back to see Van Hammer unconscious and Disco Inferno hovering over him calling out Wrath, too. Cute. So the Wolfpac's music starts and it's Big Poochie and Tazer Ramon, out for a gab session. Hall tells Enos and Duncam to get lost...so they attack him! All right! So I guess it's...
Bobby Duncam Jr. & Mike Enos v. The Outsiders. Enos destroys Hall, but makes the fatal error of tagging his useless partner in, who falls victim to Nash's THREE SHITTY MOVES OF DOOM and gets pinned in short order. I'd assign pokers, but really who cares about this tournament to begin with?
Disco Inferno v. Hector Garza. I bet the LWO is practically BEGGING to go back to getting soda for Eddy Guerrero and his ladies now. I mean, seriously, the LWO is 0/2 so far and since Disco is getting a push, 0/3 seems pretty likely. We take the inevitable COMMERCIAL BREAK OF DOOM. Disco squash continues, with Garza getting some token luchadore offense in (an Asai moonsault in this case) but quickly falling victim to the Chartbuster for the Disco win. Shove another hot poker up Big Poochie's ass for the LWO burial.
Curt Hennig gets beaten up, Eric Bischoff sells souvenirs and Ric Flair rants...all in MTV Edit-From-Hell-O-Vision. I have to say, Hogan's tights are among the worst I've ever seen.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Kaz Hayashi. Oh, boy, another cruiserweight to squash. KEVIN NASH R00LZ! Same formula as everything else tonight -- Big star squashes cruiserweight, cruiserweight gets token offense but makes one error and falls victim to the finisher and gets pinned. No hot pokers, but only because this show is becoming so mind-numbingly dull that I can't be bothered. Bobby's fake copy for Lethal Weapon is pretty funny, though.
Alleged Main Event: Big Poochie & Tazer Ramon v. Gonnad & Rey Mysterio Jr. No "toss my salad" or "peel my potato" this week from Gonnad, although the Outsiders answer with a double-team crotch chop. Hey, that's testicularly vulgar! Someone call the FCC! There could be impressionable young minds watching. Seriously, how can Eric sit there and trumpet family entertainment when K-Dog is telling people to engage in anallingus with him? Rey actually has better luck with the Outsiders than Gonnad does, although that's probably because he gets Hall and Gonnad gets Poochie, and we all know which one is more likely to sell. Gonnad clears the ring, so the Outsiders decide to make a total joke of this and send Disco in there. Hall isn't impressed and tosses Disco, taking over himself again. Nash tosses him around with his four or five moves. I wish Nash would either quit booking or quit wrestling. One or the other, I don't care which. If you're going to book, don't put yourself over. Simple as that. Rey is nice enough to allow himself to be tossed around like a lawn dart. He gets tossed into the corner and hot tags Gonnad. K-Dog gets the SHITTY HALF-CRAB OF DOOM on Poochie, cue the nWo, you know the rest. Bobby makes some shoot comments about Hogan. Nash offers his version of "Whipping post" and they whip him with the BELT OF DEATH. God forbid we should go an entire show without seeing Hogan. 10 hot pokers up Big Poochie's ass for yet another run-in.
The Bottom Line: Eh, who cares anymore? It's back
to nWo run-ins and cruiserweights getting squashed, just like the good
old days of 1997. Viva la Wolfpac!
