March 20, 1997
St Kilda
My parents offered me money today. I went over to my their house yesterday so my Mum and I could go visit my Nanna. During the course of the day, I spoke quite candidly to my Mum about our financial situation for this two weeks (vet bill $600, rent $520, car $250 == income $850). Thinking that I was speaking from one to another. This morning, she calls and tells me that her and Dad want to give us some money, to help with the vet bill (the only number in the above equation that was unexpected), not that I don't want to accept the money, its just that now I feel as though I can't speak to her about these types of things, lest she feel responsible or sorry for us and have to offer money, or support in some way. That was not my intent.
Anyway my Dad turned up a few minutes ago with the $300 in cash. And I didn't know what to say. My parents are white, and upper-middle class, they have a successful family business, and live a very comfortable lifestyle, but no-one ever gave them handouts. I don't want them to still feel that they have to bail me out everytime something unexpected comes up. I took the money, but I know that Scott is going to hit the roof when he finds out.
My scatty babysitting woman rang me today. I specifically told her to call on MONDAY if she needed me this week, I know she tried to call yesterday, but hello I was out and accidentaly forgot to put the answer machine on. She nervously said that she needed me this evening to which I answered - "I'm working tonight, and I'm not available on Friday." Which would have been her next question. Her assumptions about my being at her beck and call just kill me! Next week I'm going to call her and tell her when I can work. (yeah right, sure you are...)
I have to work this evening, and I'm not looking forward to it. I am just feeling so lethargic when it comes to leaving the house, being in public, being judged on my appearance, demenour, and all that. I don't think I'm up for it today, but I need the money so bad that I will end up working the shift.
Really this is such drivel. Last night we had to go grocery shopping (we lasted almost a week without any real food items in the house, by eating up all the stuff in the back of the cupboards and fridge. MMMMM steak frozen for over a year....golly what a taste sensation! Mmmmm, flour and water pizza dough, with olives and onion, tomato ketchup and some kraft live on the shelf forever, unrefrigerated cheese. GAG suffice it to say when this was about the only thing left uneaten we bit the bullet and took some money out of our savings account to go and buy some food. With $2 I found in the carpark I bough some oil for our burner, to try and take the stink out of our flat (the flat is not easy to ventilate, and with the kitty litter it can smell a little rural.) but when I put it on it smells like really bad toilet freshener! GAG again. So when my dad turned up this morning I had to quickly run around and clear away all the groceries, so that he wouldn't think I was taking them for a ride. But shit the money we spent isn't for groceries, it's savings, and this is the first time we've ever taken any money out of there for this type of thing. But shit, half a jar of olives, two onions and not much else was taking it all a bit far. I still wish we could have made it to next Wed when I get paid and everything would have been all right.
So enough of my woes, I slept last night and the night before as though I was a normal person. I slumbered from 11pm to 7am - not bad for a confirmed insomniac. However this happens every now and again. My sleeping gets so out of whack that eventually it gets itself back in sync with everyone else, and I go through a short period of relatively normal sleep patters, until slowly it starts to turn itself on its head and I'm up all night again!
I also bought myself cranberry juice. I think I'm addicted.
For My Listening Pleasure....
My Friend the Chocolate Cake
Brood
Nick Cave
The Boatman's Call
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