Tel Aviv

When New Yorkers come to this country (which occurs about once every two seconds), their most common complaint is that they miss big city life. When they complain about it, they're immediately told to check out Tel Aviv. The city never sleeps, any store you ever wanted there is there, along with a rip off of the same store somewhere else. It houses the rich, the artsy, the mafia, and everyone else. It is a regular New York City, (OK, though only one-seventh the populatiom) with Hebrew letters. Sort of The Big Orange, if you will.

But, like New York, it is therefore filled with really bad neighborhoods. They call it the "ungluttable market," but I really think that the supply of sex shops in the city outweighs the demand. The only way to get to Peduel was to use the old Central Bus station, in a really bad neighborhood. On the three streets on the way there from the new Central Bus Station, there are literally scores of sex shops. There are enough "x"es to make a pirate go crazy.

On my way to the bus, the first time I was there, I stopped by the phones, and this middle aged woman, who looked like she was suffering from both AIDS and malnutritiion approached me, and said something I couldn't quite make out.

"��? {Mah?} (What?)"

So, she stops, points a bony finger at me. "English?"

"OK."

She nods. "You want sex?"

"Uhm...no thanks." (No, I was NOT thinking it over.) I started walking away quickly. She kept calling out, asking me why. Before the bus showed up, a different again woman offered me her professional services. ^Lovely part of town.^

When people take trips to the city, meaning any different metropolis, they generally wind up with a story; they get mugged, they get pickpocketted, they get swindled, they see some crime being committed, they bought a five dollar rollex, etc. When my family went to New York, the car was broken into, and the seat coverings were stolen. It's generally something like that.

Well, the second time I had to go back to the bus station, it was the weekend following Purim, and I had literally missed the only bus of the day by two minutes. So, I went to the phones to call my aunt, and tell her that I'd be spending another night at her house, and the same hooker walked by again. I recognized her, and before she said anything, I signalled her to go away. She pulled out a knife. She walked away with my bag.