This Yeshiva I'm on...

Warning--This piece may be insulting to B'nei Akiva




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The first Yeshiva I was on, Malei Gilboa, epitomized Yeshiva. Yeshiva, of course, is a religious Jewish school wherein they learn Torah. This one sort of reminded me of a monastery. First of all, it's isolated. It's on a mountain, a ten shekel bus ride to the closest city (but only at 5 and at 5), which happens to be Beit Shean, the Israeli hick town I've mentioned before.

Such limitations were placed to further cement the similarity. There was to be no language or music that could be found offensive. (Fortunately they kept our rooms in the middle of nowhere, no Rabbis could hears our melodious tunes.) We were to abstain from liquor, during our stay. (Of course, you also promise that every time you buy software that you won't copy it.) And no "girlie" pictures. I don't put up pictures of anything, generally, so this didn't really bother me, but this was the only thing they really prosecuted on.

Another little interesting thing about this place is that it's a "Last Ditch Yeshiva." The kibbutz that it's on has a gross somewhat parallel to that of Chevy Chase's movies. As a last ditch effort to make some money, they set aside some land to make a school. The problem is, that I have no idea who suggested that it was profitable to build a school there. Schools as a whole lose money, and this one, with an enrollment of around sixty or so, is no exception. So, at the school, to save every penny, you write down every coffee you take, sugar put in, etc.

It's also, interestingly enough, on a mountaintop, with nothing around it, but rehabilitation centers. Rehabilitation centers have two meanings in Israel. One is for people who no longer want to be addicted to drugs, and thus are rehabilitated, or you have new immigrants have to get used to a new society, generally Russians, and they have to be rehabilitated to live here.

So, on Malie Gilboa, if you look around, you could find a great deal of Russian prostitutes, and hypodermic needles. It adds to the learning environment.

Plus, the trailers that we lived in were pretty old, from the '60's, I'm guessing. There is asbestos leakage. It adds to the breathing environment.

When we had a tour of the place, he pointed down the mountain to the four Arab villages around, and showed us the trenches used in the '67 war to fight those settlements. It adds to the atmosphere.

Well, the asbestos screwed with my asthma. I was sick a great deal of the time there. Uninterestingly, this was the same point as when Zevulun Hammer died of Asbestos poisoning.

But the carcinogenic insulation was not what bothered me that much, I couldn't expect them to build new accomodations for us. Nor did it bother me about the potential conflict. There's tension everywhere here. What bothered me more was the conflict of setting. I imagine that the point was to find a place that was beautiful, (which it supposedly is in spring.) non-extravagant, and secluded, up to the point where we could go around singing that "the hills are alive with the sound of music."

But the medical waste...

Julia Andrews kind of leaves the state of mind when you almost step on hypodermic needles when going to dinner.

Or kicking a syringe on the way to class.

Or tripping on a blood bag on the way back to the room.

Well, with the asthma acting up, maybe the actor from the original movie was right, when he said, "The hills are alive with the sound of mucus."






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Michael Kadish

""If a person is innocent of a crime, then he isn't a suspect." -- Edwin Meese
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