Girlfriends

One case in particular, when I was in America, proved to me that most of my theories were true. There's this girl I met on AOL....Her name is Shira, and she is one of the nicest girls I've ever met. She's kind, considerate, intelligent, I could go on for pages with the attributes I saw on her. Around two months before I left to go to Israel, she told me that she had feelings for me. Astounded, after I convinced myself this wasn't a gag, I admitted mutual feelings. We talked of how much we thought of each other. We never cybered; it wasn't hormonal, it was feelings.

I sent her a rose light as a gift, through the mail. This got her into trouble in numerous ways. First her parents and siblings caught her. Apparently, they opened the box with the rose. She was busted but told her parents it was just a cyber hacker. They barely let her keep her online access. Even worse, though, she had something. Something to think of me with. I had cursed her by giving her the fate of a mysterious admirer.

I told her that I was going to Israel. I was infatuated with her. I never saw a picture. I had not heard her voice. I just read what she typed. I told her that I'd be coming back to the States in November, and while I was back, I might be able to go on a side trip, a couple of miles out of the way, and see the girl, who had inundated my thoughts.

We said goodbye, as I left to Israel, and I imposed three rules on her, on us. We both felt that the other was to good for us, and we didn't want the other to feel that they had wasted their thoughts on false impressions. The first rule said that we had to try to date somebody in the time between, but it couldn't be another virtual relationship. We couldn't just think of the mystery persona. Second was that if the person fell in love with the person they were seeing, they should just mention that, and the other person should move on in stride. The third rule said that we had to be honest. When we met, if one nauseated the other let it be told. A long distance relationship is not worth it, unless both sides really do want the other.

I went to Israel and met some very pretty girls. I talked to a lot of them but could never appear forward. Maybe it was because of Shira. Maybe it was my general shyness\low self esteem. But I didn't do anything. I wanted to, at times, but I didn't. I came back to America, and was ready to talk to her online. The day I came back, I turned on the computer expecting her to be there waiting for me. She wasn't there. Well, of course, she's in college. She isn't going to be on 24/7.

So I wrote her an E-mail. When I sent it, I found that she "was no longer a valid AOL user." I was worried a little bit. I wasn't grief stricken, but I was worried. I had never met her. Most of all I worried that the whole flower thing caused her cancellation, but then I realized that something more serious may have happened. I looked for people where she lived, to see if anybody knew where she was.

As normal, in the Jewish chat room, I got Ims from bored people. Suddenly, "Hi, Mike."

"Do I know you?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Shira?!?" She now was on under her friend's name. So we talked and I told her I was going to come. She planned a hotel that I could stay at. I still hadn't seen her. I still hadn't talked to her. I wanted something besides ANSCII characters. So, I called her. It was rather awkward. I did not know what to say; I would see her soon. Should I warn her? Should I find out about her? Should I try to see if the whole thing was a prank? Not much came out of the call. Her friend was in the background, giggling uncontrollably, and not much was said.

But it proved to me she was real. She was a real live girl, my emotions were not victim to a hoax, and we had feelings for each other. The beautiful voice of hers seemed lost, just as mine. I thought I should tell her the truth. Over the internet, or through any unseen correspondence, attractive images are pictured of the corresponent. This was undeserving to her. So, we told each other the bad descriptions.

"I have some acne."

"Me to."

"My teeth are a little stained,"

"I'm a little overweight."

It was all rather silly, but in the course of a game of Slingo, she told me that the one thing that bothered her was my hair. No problem, if I ever met a girl who really liked me, I'd cut my hair anyway. She wanted it done before I met her though. Fine, no problem, my hair is worth a lass. (Get it, "Paris is"...never mind...)

I was going to see this girl!!!

I was going to meet her!!!

Am I out of my mind?

I was to leave on Sunday. Friday, I got an E-mail from her.

Well, that was way to predictable. It proved all my theories.

My life is a television show, it very rarely changes. The impact of being able to see a new character who feels love for me would have apparently disrupted the flow of the show. Further more, neither of us is bad for what was done. As it turned out the whole situation scared her, so she backed down.

It proved the almost-nazzirness. I became an almost-nazzir, do to my belief that I wasn't destined to find somebody, nor able to get drunk. It just showed me that I was right.

I have since learned The Truth, and she has a story that compare to some of mine. She was proposed to while I was gone, refused, (maybe, or maybe not in part due to me) and she felt awkward about the new developments. I don't begrudge her at all. I still consider her a friend (even though we haven't met), as disheartening as the story is. It's just another chapter in the diary.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Maybe it's not over though. My writers have been looking to add spice into my show lately. Maybe this story isn't over.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Get me outa here!!!

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---

Michael Kadish

"I desire what is good. Therefore, everyone who does not agree with me is a traitor." -- King George III of England

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