These are the Jokes, Folks IV.
(the "dirty" jokes)

A guy goes into a brothel. "What can I get for $20?"

"For $20? Well, you can get Big Bertha's singing act. Go in that room over there." So he goes in the room, and he meets a rather obese women.

"I've paid for your 'singing act.' What is it?"

She looks at him, and very seductively she tells him that she can give him a blow job, and sing, at the same time. Only thing is, he has to turn off the light first. He complies. So she starts singing, and uhmm, whatever, and the man's in heaven. After a while, she tells him that time's up. He begs her to continue, and she agrees for fifty dollars. He complies. Soon, this time is up also, but he has to know how she does it, so when he's about to pay for a third time, he quickly flashes on the light, just in time to see Big Bertha putting in her glass eye.

Three lawyers go to rent rooms at a hotel. "Sorry, we only have one room, and in it, we only have one bed." SO they all agree to share the bed. The next day, they woke up remarkably well rested.

"Wow," said the lawyer who slept on the right, "I had the best sex dream ever last night. I just kept going, and going, all night."

"Wow, me to," says the lawyer on the left.

"Hmm," said the lawyer in the middle, "my whole dream was about skiing..."

The night of the honeymoon, the groom has one thing to request of his wife. When they sleep together, the lights must be off. She complies, and they have a very happy marriage.

Twenty years, and four kids later, the wife gets curious. They've had sex at least twice a week since they were wed, but it always has been in the dark. So, one night, when they're engaged in the act, she can't help it, and she flings the light on. There, on top of her, is her husband, holding a dildo.

"I can explain this," he said, "but how do you explain the four kids?"

There's this little kid in school, his name's Gilad, he's in first grade, but this kid has one of the dirtiest mouths ever. He can swear in many languages and can easily make the teacher blush, or at least annoyed, and so consequently, she always has to be prepaired if she wants to call on him. So, one day, they were reviewing their letters. "Kids, who can tell me a word that begins with 'F,' and spell it?" Gilad stretches his arm out.

"Me, Me, me!!!" The teacher isn't stupid.

"Johny?"

"Frog, F-R-O-G."

"Good word John. OK, now who can tell me some words that begin with 'C?'" Gilad again raises his hand and begs to be called on. But the teacher can think of a few words that he would use. "Sarah?"

"Cat, C-A-T."

"Very good word Sarah. No, who can give me a word that begins with 'D?'" Again Gilad raises his hand, and the teacher's ready to ignore him, but it crosses her mind that she really can't think of any really bad words that begin with "D."

"Gilad?"

"Dwarf, D-W-A-R-F."

"Wow, extremely good word, Gilad."

"...and he's got balls this big!!!"

Get me outa here!!!

Wanna read the last one?

Wanna read the next one?

Take me back to the list

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Michael Kadish

I'm learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

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