Jump

I'm on the Hachshara program at the Kibbutz Sde Eliyaju. But for a while, there were two Hachshara programs. There was the program I am on, Hachsharah Etgar, but there is also Hachshara Le'ahava. Le'ahava is comprised of those from the Southern Hemisphere, but only South Africa and Australia. They were on the Kibbutz with us, and as I mentioned before, these are some of the nicest people in the world. So, on the day that they left, we had a little party. It wasn't a big deal. It was almost dry, two kids, not I, had beers. Instead, we had a barbecue. It was nice, but it was a rather somber event.

It was pretty depressing. Here's this party to say goodbye to these incredibly nice people. I haven't met them well, and they're leaving. I couldn't take it, and I went to go sit back and watch. See, they were all eating and talking on the grass, outside of where we slept. We sleep in this two story building. Guys on the bottom floor, girls on the top. On the stairwell is this huge window slot. It's about eight feet long, and five feet tall. There's no glass, so it's a great place to lie back and talk, or relax, or whatever, so I went there to lie back and watch the party.

By the way there's no railing from this window. By the way, it's fourteen feet high. But I've never fallen down from anything of that height before.

So, I'm watching this party for a few minutes. I'm actually feeling a little better, nice warm feelings, when Ami walks over. "Hey, Michael, jump!!!" I laugh, but a few people heard him.

A few minutes later, Rayna asked me to jump. Now, I can't refuse a woman. "Tell you what, bring out a mattress, and I'll do it."

Ami brought out a mattress.

So, as I write this, I look at the Itzhak Pearlman crutches that have been my modes of transportation for about the past six weeks.

What happened next... I was OK, but I had landed on my right foot, which hurt like the Dickens. So, Devora, the madricha walks over. �����, ��. ��� ��� ���� ���� �����. (Michael, bo, ani, ekach otcha le habeit cholim.) {Michael, let's go, I'm taking you to the hospital."}

"No, it's ok..." I said, trying to walk off the pain that wasn't absorbed by the one-and-a-half-inch thick mattress.

"Michael, shut up, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No, look, it's one in the morning. When we wake up in a few hours, if it still hurts, then we can go."

"Michael, shut up, I don't want to hear it. You're not in trouble, but you're going to the hospital. RIGHT NOW." I had never seen this lady be assertive before.

I'm not a stupid macho jerk. I'm just stoic, and I feel really awkward when people go out of their way for me.

But we go to the doctor's. "�� ��� ��? (Ma kara lo) {What happened to him}"

"��� ��� ����� ���� ����� (who nafal mi shalosh vechaitzi meterim.) {He fell from three and a half meters}"

"�����? (Aifo?) {where?}"

" ��� ���� �� ��� �����, ��?(atah rayeeta et beit Hachsharah, ken?) {You've seen beit Hachshara, right?}"

"��, ��. (ken, ken.) {Yes, yes.}" He gives me this very cold look. "What were you doing on the girl's floor?"

So, we go to the hospital. The hospital is in another city. A good hour and a half away, and we get to Efulah. We get into the hospital, and I get to play in a wheel chair for the time I was there. J Now, I don't want to spend my life in a wheel chair, but let's just say it was a nice distraction for a while. So, we go to the nurse.

"�� ��� ��? (Ma kara lo) {What happened to him}"

"��� ��� ����� ���� ����� (who nafal mi shalosh vechaitzi meterim.) {He fell from three and a half meters}"

" ���� ���� �����, ����� �� ���� ���� �����? ���� ���. ����� ��� ���, ��? {Shalosh vechaitzi meterim, vreglo ze ha ba'aya ha achi gedola? Aize mazal. Maipho who nafal, gog?} (Three and a half meters, and his foot is the biggest problem? He's lucky. Where'd he fall from, a roof?)"

"��, ����� �� ��. {Ken, naphalti mi gog.} (Yes, I fell from a roof.)" So, we went to the X-ray room. Got my pictures taken, and we go to the doctor. I wheel myself in.

"�� ��� ��? (Ma kara lo) {What happened to him}"

"��� ��� ����� ���� ����� (who nafal mi shalosh vechaitzi meterim.) {He fell from three and a half meters}"

"����? �� (mi Aifo?) {from where?}"

"��!!! �� �� ����? (Echh, aich zeh chashoov?) {Ugghh, how is that important?}" I groan, interjectedly. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. Why on earth would these people be asking, except for something they can laugh at? So, he looks at the X-rays.

"��, �� ���, (ken, yeish SHEVAR.) {Yes, there is (Shevar)}" Sheva is seven.

"SEVEN?!?!" So, everyone in the room, looks at me.

Awkward pause.

"No, Michael. Sheva is seven. He said shevar. Shevar is broken..."

"ohhh..." My first broken bone.

But, the thing is, this is so embarrassing that I didn't tell my parents how it happened. Maybe seven people back home knew. As they read this letter they're finding it out, but I really didn't want to tell them, cause this is something they would truly hold against me...I mean this is one of the stupidest things I've done. I can just imagine it.

"So, if a girl told you to jump off a bridge, you'd do it?"

"Well, I think we've established that..."

Get me outa here!!!

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---

Michael Kadish

"OK, I think we're all agreed here, I have no life, right?" -- City Slickers

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