Stupidity contest

"This is the most boring one, comparing things that will never go away. But�the judges are working on it� the decision is that people in Israel are fully aware there'll never be consensus and that the people will fight until there is, while the Americans think shaving off a few million off the debt a year will fill the infinite hole. Point, America."

"Wow, this is pretty close�"

"Tsk, you must have never seen the Israeli shows. Point: Israel."

"This is a new category. In America, for sixteen dollars, in Chicago, LA, or New York, you can breathe five minutes of pure oxygen."

"Well, those are the cities where you'd most need it, but Cayilu is something new. You pay 25 sheks, around eight dollars, to sit in a caf� for half an hour. The catch is that there is no food or drinks. (or pure oxygen.) You pay for the 'Caf� environment.' However, it appears that the Cayilus are all closing, so the point goes to the US."

"Assuming that 2000 would never show its face is rather stupid, but realistically, A) it is not only America's fault, and B) it mostly revolves around the laziness of the programmers. I missed the story though�what's with the sand?"

"Ah, well, Israel is industrializing so fast that they are running out of sands are the beaches, and are contemplating importing sand literally tons of sand from Egypt, and or Jordan."

"Isn't the Negev a very large desert in the Middle of the Holy Land?"

"Apparently, it will run out�or something�"

"OK�point goes to Israel."

"Wow, we have the group that couldn't bug a substitute an older sibling, versus the group that couldn't catch a cold if its brother hadn't turned it in."

"The Unibomber is a bit out, but combined with Ruby Ridge, Waco, and the like, the nineties were not a great time for the fibbers."

"But, Israel has fallen much farther. Mossad, feared and internationally respected and dangerous, to a group fearful, caught internationally for putting up the stupid bugs."

"Plus, it's more recent, and closer together. Point Israel."

"Well, the final American entry is rather ironic, since it's a Jewish name. In Hebrew, the real word is of course pronounced, 'tzeeyon.'"

"Even still, it looks like, yes, this is a draw round."

"Israel ran a survey showing itself as one of the countries with highest rates of cancer. In unrelated articles, it mentioned the high rate of smoking, and the phenomenal percentage of Israelis who have cell phones on them. In America, they can't fathom how come they all still don't have perfect bodies, while statistics show a steady increase in the amount of time spent online. Cybersex doesn't burn a lot of calories."

"But, the backlash of the Israeli 'pelephone' has started, and the smoking is going down�"

"Point to the Red white, and blue."

"This is a close call. It was mind boggling how people seemed to hate Clinton, except around election times, but the situation in Israel�"

"Right, where Bibi has done nothing but screw up, Barak will probably get votes around those given to Mickey Mouse, and Peres is the proclaimed 'loser.'"

"It's pretty close�but they're giving it to Israel. At least in America, they have new politicians."

"The whole New York Times Magazine thing� where Bibi's top aide confided that they try to smother Sarah Netanyahu, the "first lady," by only showing her with the retarded, children, and the like would have definitely beaten the Connie Chung Mrs. Gingrich thing."

"Right. That's almost definitely true, since this is more objective and truthful than what somebody thought. However, international problems and media bonanza over Clinton sleeping with an aid is downright stupid."

"Point, to the fifty states. Double point round to America."

"America has entered this round under protest, saying that the average American enjoys a good game of pong more than soccer."

"Be that as it may, this appears to be a double for Israel. The Nike deal, which for some reason some Israelis bought into, where if you bought a certain pair of Nikes before a certain date, Nike would reimburse you 100%�if America made it to the quarter finals of the World Cup."

"The US-Iran game, watched by millions who expected bloodshed, and new meaning to the notion of watching a team get slaughtered were severely disappointed. Many predicted a similar incident to '72 Munich. It turned to be about as exciting as America's actions during the '80 summer Olympics."

"Double point round to the blue and white."

"See, these both can be ridiculed. We have to look at which is more impressively stupid."

"Well, blaming a plague on a group is nothing new. The Black Plague was blamed on the Jews, blaming people for illnesses is pre middle ages."

"On the other hand, Rabin theories sprang up rather quickly. It was over twenty years before Oliver Stone made the film on JFK, and much of the theories went into warp speed at around that point. The suicide one, which states that it was all his idea, he put all the groups up to it, is fairly impressive for only two years."

"Point to the Land of Milk and Honey. OK, Bob, who wins it?"

"The winner is�Switzerland�"

"Stupid Neutral Swiss. Should have known when to shut up. Well see you next time, when you do something stupid."

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Michael Kadish

"Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver." -- Shlageter, by Hanns Johst. Falsely attributed to Hermann Goering

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