As the popular adage states, "what goes around comes around again", and according to many savvy ladies this includes women's fashions.

I've often been told by more fashion-conscious women not to throw out that black hound's tooth maxi-skirt, those deep-rose wedgies, or those five-inch platform shoes -- because before you know it, they'll be fashionable again.

"Yeah, right," I always thought, as I buried the above-named objects in the back of the closet, knowing the items were just taking up space needed by more modern clothing choices.

Wouldn't you know it, the fashion-savvy among us were right all along -- what went around has come around again, 20 years later.

According to a recent article on women's fashion, those instruments of torture, the West's answer to Oriental foot binding, has come back -- wedgies and platform shoes are once again hot news in shoe leather.

Geez, if those hideous perambulatory torture devices are making a come-back -- can maxi skirts be far behind?

My 20-year-old feet and ankles hardly survived the first go-round of that shoe style. I'll surely fall down and break my neck attempting to wear the same style almost 25 years later.

All those years ago, though, thought those funky, clunky shoes were the answer to a short person's prayers. Whether wearing a maxi-skirt, mini-skirt, slacks or jeans, those chunky wedges of wood tacked onto the bottom of our shoes gave even hobbits some needed inches.

The extreme pain felt while wearing them seemed a fair trade-off for the extra inches at the time.I learned to do many things while sharp pains shot up my calves -- walk, smile, laugh or work. Shoot, I could even dance in those danged things, and still smile at my date.

I finally had to stop wearing the things, though, after nearly breaking my neck on two separate occasions.

The first warning that my ankles could't tolerate much more abuse was at a party at a friend's split-level house.

I always liked going to her house. Besides being a lot of fun, it was one of the few places I knew where, between the steps and my five-inch heels, I could be at eye-level with the current love of my life.

So there I was, drink in hand, standing two steps up, smiling winsomely into my date's face, having a wonderful time -- then whammo, I'm sitting on the steps and now wearing my drink.

My ankles, after balancing all day in the same pair of shoes, had collapsed without warning. My date picked me up off the floor, helped me dry off, and being the gentleman he was, laughingly said he preferred me short and cute.

The second and final warning came about a week later. The house I was renting at the time was in the Hollywood Hills, and there were 40 cement steps leading from street level to my front door.

Wearing the same pair of shoes, I was running a little late for work and was hurrying down the steps. About half-way down the last flight, my ankles bit the dust again. The next thing I knew, I was airborne and flying head first down the last 10 steps.

Afterwards, as I sat there on the sidewalk, making sure that the parts that were supposed to move still did, and parts that weren't supposed to move didn't' -- I marveled that I somehow miraculously escaped breaking my neck.

I also took off those dad-blamed shoes and pitched them as far as I could, telling myself that I would be a total fool to ever put them on again.

And since I haven't become that foolish in my old age, it's pretty much a sure thing that I won't be participating in the current rage for wedgies, platforms and five-inch heels.

I only have to fall down a flight of stairs twice before I finally get the message!

In the 25 years since I tossed away my last pair of wedgies, I have accepted the fact that if I was meant to be taller, the gods in their wisdom would have let me grow another five inches. Since they didn't, I've learned to accept my lot (or lack thereof) in life.

Although I will have to admit that candies, the sandal version of the high-heeled wedgie displays even homely fee in the best possible way.

But you do have to wonder who gets to decide what the next fashion statement will be and how much common sense they have?

Are these the same people who have saddled us with pointed-toe shoes combined with stiletto heels? Sure, having the toe come to a point in the middle is symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing, but is it logical?

Do most women's toes come to a point in the middle, or on the side where the big toe is located? Isn't that why it's called the "big toe?"

Maybe those who design clothing and shoe styles should take a course in basic anatomy before they try to foist another fashion whim on the public.

A friend once told me of a woman, a friend of her mother, who actually talked a doctor into removing her little toes because she wanted to be able to comfortably wear the extremely pointed-toe high heels that were popular in the 60s.

Although I find it hard to believe that a doctor would agree to something so bizarre, I don't doubt that there are women who are such slaves to fashion that they'll even cut off their toes just to wear a certain type of shoe.

Well at least the medical profession should be happy with this fashionable retread. Just think of all the money they will make, straightening out backs, stretched out Achilles tendons and the assorted scrapes, bruises and broken bones caused by women everywhere falling off their platform shoes.

---

If you would like to drop the author a note about the article please email to [email protected]

Back to Main Page

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws