Recently a Little Rock police officer was acquitted of rape by a jury of his peers. According to a news story about the trial, one of the reasons given for the acquittal what that his accuser had waited three weeks to report the alleged attack. The feeling was that if the incident had not been consensual, the woman would have reported it immediately.

True, crimes should be reported immediately, but there is a very good reason why many women don�t report rapes immediately or sometimes, ever.

Good girls don�t have sex.

This one piece of propaganda drummed into little girls� heads almost from the moment they first realize there are two genders, is the foremost reason why many girls and women delay reporting they�ve been raped. It�s also the same reason why some rape victims never report the attack.

It�s called shame, and this attitude harkens back to the days when women were considered chattel and dickered away by fathers for the price of a few cattle or sheep. Good girls were to remain chaste until given by their fathers in marriage and then they were to remain chaste except when in their marital beds.

No exceptions allowed. Raped maidens were considered damaged goods and were therefore worthless as saleable objects. Married women who were raped were often seen as polluted vessels and could risk being put aside by their husbands especially if the rape resulted in a pregnancy.

An unspoken law was that raped girls and women, if they didn�t hie themselves to a nunnery and remove their shameful selves from the sight of the righteous, were at least supposed to expiate their dreadful circumstances by killing themselves.

That was in the old days. In more modern times, although victims are no longer expected to enter convents and suicide is no longer encouraged, there is still a stigma attached to women who have been raped.

If you don�t believe this is still true, take for example a question I was asked just last week regarding a sentence in my column regarding U.S. Senatorial candidate Fay Boozman�s statement that women have a �hormonal� shield which can prevent pregnancy in case of rape.

In the column, I stated, "been there, done that and survived it," while explaining that one of the lst things on a woman�s mind during a rape is whether or not she�ll get pregnant.

I was asked if that phrase meant I had been raped. "Yes," I said. Then I was asked if I minded exposing this. "Excuse me, exposing this? I take exception to that term. Exposing implies that I have something to hide -- I don�t. I didn�t do anything wrong. The man who attacked me did evil, not me. Why should I feel as if I have something to hide?" But I have to forgive the question and actually thank the person who asked it -- for making me examine why I never reported that I had been raped. I didn�t tell the police, I didn�t tell my parents -- and for almost 25 years I kept my mouth shut.

Why have I remained silent all these years? Why has my silence allowed a guilty man the freedom to attack other women? Because I was ashamed and humiliated. Because I was raised to be a good girl, and good girls don�t have sex -- even when it�s forced on them.

Mine is almost a classic tale, labeled "acquaintance rape" or "date rape" by law enforcement professionals. My attacker was someone I worked with, who had been invited to my home because he wanted to return a kitten I had given him and his wife.

Was I at fault when I invited this person to come inside my apartment instead of just accepting the returned kitten at the door? Was it encouragement when I offered to pour him a drink? Was it a come-on when I sat in my living room and talked about shared concerns at the office while we sipped our drinks?

No. I was simply following the rules of hospitality that my parents had taught me. Visitors, especially ones already known, are to be welcomed and treated graciously -- not suspiciously.

When he tried to kiss me as I walked him to the door, I let him know that I wasn�t interested. I tried to do this politely at first. After all, this was someone who worked for the same company that I did, and he was part of the same bunch I hung around with at lunch and break time. My taking a step backward should have let him know I wasn�t interested. My firmly telling him to let go of my arm should have also been enough.

My breaking free of his grasp and trying to run toward the bathroom where I was going to lock myself in, should have been enough. My fighting as hard as I could while he beat me should have been enough. But it wasn�t. And I learned the biggest lesson of my life -- how to endure the unspeakable.

And the next day at work I learned how to carry the burden of shame when I found out he was bragging of his "conquest". That he was telling others that I was willing.

And so between that humiliation and the fear of what he would further do to me if I told, I kept quiet. I found new friends to have lunch and break with and I made damned sure I was never alone for one second with that man ever again.

Why have I now decided to finally talk about my experience? Because after reading the story about the woman who was not believed because she had delayed in reporting she�d been raped, I realized it was time to break my silence.

It seems to me that unless women conquer their fear of the stigma associated with being raped and immediately report that they�ve been attacked -- then rapists will continue to be set free. If I don�t tell, how can I possibly ask another woman not to do the same?

Also, I�ve known for a long time that although I have forgiven myself for not being able to prevent the attack, I have never forgiven myself for letting him coerce me into silence, for making me feel ashamed. Or for letting him turn me into (in my then 21-year-old mind) damaged goods. Breaking my silence, even after all these years, forever ends the false emotional stigma the rapist imposed on me at the same time he forced his physical self on me.

I am not damaged goods -- he is.

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