Much has been written and said about people meeting on the Internet, mostly horror stories it seems. Yet in my travels along the electronic highway for the past nine months, what I have found is the complete opposite.

Yes, there are groups circulating on the Net like those unfortunate people in California who went to chase a space ship, but they really are few and far between. There are sleazy spots on the virtual highway too, and those who look for them will find them -- just like they'll find them in any other type of community.

And yes, just like any other place where men and women congregate, some marital relationships have foundered when a spouse has met someone new. But it has been my observation that those marriages were in trouble long before the husband or wife went wandering down the electronic byways.

To those familiar with the Internet, those who rely on information about it from news reports and talk show to pics, it can seem as if anyone who logs on to the Net will immediately get sucked into the deep, dark hole of cyberspace. Folks, I've been there, done that and bought the t-shirt -- this is simply not true.

Yes, I will admit that chatting on the Net is addictive. Then again, so is any other type of gathering spot where one had mad a place for themselves -- such as the local coffee shop, neighborhood tavern or the juice bar at the local exercise gym. It's very flattering being warmly welcomed and included in a cohesive group of friends.

Yes, some exceedingly tragic events have happened to people who have become regulars on the Net -- but they are the exception, not the rule. Most people aren't cultists looking for a space ship hiding in a comet's tail, or stalkers looking for easy targets.

What I have found is that many of the people who surf the Net are for the most part professional, educated people -- baby boomers (or their children) who are intelligent and caring people. In fact, if there's ever been a successor for us boomers to the original spirit of the 60s, chat rooms on the Net are probably it. It's a lot like the old be-ins and rap sessions, just updated with a 90s style!

There are a few clowns and creeps, but they are eventually found out and sent on their way, just as they were in those days too.

What you have to do is put it in perspective. When you consider the millions of people from around the world who log on daily, who do not get caught up in cults or extra-marital affairs -- you get a much better idea of what is happening along the pits stops of the electronic highway.

For me, visiting in the chat rooms or channels is much like hanging out with the locals down at the corner coffee shop. And much like there too, you'll eventually see all aspects of the human condition -- everything from the joyous to the tragic.

I have one particular channel I tend to return to on a daily basis -- one favorite coffee shop, where one of the stools at the counter has been reserved for me -- and a certain group of people I have come to know. A group of friends, all about the same age, from all over the world, who I meet with and share and talk over the events happening here (as we say in the channel, the things that happen in our "real" lives).

Monday night, for example, I relaxed after a long day at work by talking with a diverse group of friends: a television news film editor in Canada, a housewife in Maine and her electrician husband, a school teacher from California, another teacher from Chicago, and a whole cast of others whose occupations and whereabouts represent all aspects of normal everyday life.

Tuesday, I drank my morning coffee with my friend from Maine, a farmer in Indiana, a teacher from Barrie, Canada, a helicopter pilot from Mississippi, and several other people from around the country.

We share our triumphs, our tragedies, our day-to-day grind. We've given advice to each other from the best way to unfreeze frozen pipes to how to heal a broken heart. We've exchanged recipes and titles of favorite books -- and some of us have fallen in love. You name the topic, and I'll bet we've discussed it at one point or another.

There is one major difference between talking in a chat channel and talking face-to-face with someone, and that is the lack of eye contact and seeing their body language. This difference is a two-edged sword -- it can both But and help.

On one hand, because you do not have that eye contact or body language to gauge what a person is saying -- you can be fooled. It is harder to distinguish when someone is sincere or not. But, as you chat with someone over a period of time and see their written responses to daily happenings, you are able to form some type of idea about the kind of person they are -- and if they have been sincere with you or not.

On the other hand, the lack of eye contact seems to make it easier to tell another person things you normal ly wouldn't say in person. You may normally stop yourself from saying something to someone directly in front of you for fear of hurting their feelings, of saying too much, too soon, or out of shyness. In fact, the Net channels are perfect for those who find talking to others face-to-face too difficult. It makes it easier for them to go beyond their shyness and to communicate with other people.

People are still people though, and no matter how much they enjoy talking to one another on the Net, one question keeps popping up -- when can we really meet. When can we see the body language, hear the laugh, see the smile -- either individually or in groups -- finally meeting those you've become friends with is almost a daily topic with those who inhabit the chat channels.

Last weekend, a group of us met in Toronto for one such gathering -- next week I'll tell you how it went.

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