The Latest Developments on Ebonics...

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Non-partisan Organization of Citizens
for Responsibility and Accuracy in the Press
20 December 1996
Contact: Richard Wheeler, [email protected]

The Non-partisan Organization of Citizens for Responsibility and Accuracy in the Press (NOCRAP) congratulates the Oakland (CA) Unified School District for recognizing the vernacular known as Ebonics as a legitimate language, distinct from English.� Like the Oakland school board, NOCRAP recognizes the need to recognize non-standard English dialects as second languages so that standard English may be taught more effectively to students, with the ultimate goal being to help Ebonics-speaking students to successfully integrate into American society and business.

Additionally, the recognition of Ebonics implies acknowledgment of the creative forces within, and the distinct and equally valid culture of, the Ebonics-speaking community, thus boosting the self-esteem of Ebonics-speaking students.

"In the same spirit of cooperation and bi-partisanship as that of the perceptive members of the Oakland school board, NOCRAP urges the public and the federal government to formally recognize all well-established dialects of English," said NOCRAP's director of communication, Richard Wheeler.� "In the interest of facilitating synergy and constructive dialog between historically competing cultures, NOCRAP announces its formal recognition of Bubbabonics, a southern dialect which has come into dominance in the nation's capitol."

The salient characteristic of Bubbabonics is that it has an unstated negation implied within each verb.� Several variations may be used when translating from Bubbabonics to standard English; the best to be judged by an outcome-based determined of coherence.

Sometimes the negation is accomplished by adding the implied negative:

Example:� "We will end welfare as we know it."

Translation:� "We will not end welfare as we know it."

Sometimes the negation is accomplished by removing a negative, since a double-negative cancels itself:

Example:� "I will not raise taxes on the middle class."

Translation:� "I will raise taxes on the middle class."

In some cases, the negative must be added to object of the verb (e.g., negating an adjective which modifies the predicate noun):

Example:� "We will have the most ethical history in history."

Translation:� "We will have the most un-ethical administration in history."

Difficult cases may require replacement of an element of the sentence with its antonym:

Example (verb):� "My economic package will cut $500 billion from the deficit in five years."

Translation: "My economic package will add $500 billion to the deficit in five years."

Example (modifier):� "My first 100 days will be the most productive in modern history."

Translation:� "My first 100 days will be the least productive in modern history."

Bubbabonics sometimes obfuscates by using hyperprecision. The resultant sentence structure can actually compress the required number of words by up to 65%!�

Hyperprecision is best translated by using a three-step process:

1. Restate the sentence with the meaning negated.

2. Identify the most extreme possible meaning of the action identified by the sentence.

3. State the negated meaning, followed by "but," and then repeat the original sentence using the extreme (non-negated) meaning.

Example:� "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinski."

Translation by following the steps:

1. Negate:� "I DID have sex with that woman."

2. Extreme:� Sexual intercourse resulting in pregnancy.

3. Assembled translation:� "I DID have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinski, BUT we stopped short of home plate."

According to linguistics scholar Dr. Bob Ford, body language is an integral part of Bubbabonics' modes of expression. For example, tears indicate mirth and an expressionless face indicates abject fear.� An upturned chin and bitten lower lip indicates the use of pain compliance to stifle derisive laughter. One critical warning sign is the back-stretched arm, which indicates the imminent hurling of epithets and ashtrays.

"Only advanced audio-visual training can prepare one to implement the body-language method of translation because one needs a quick and expert eye to pick those signs out from amongst the motions of the Macarena," said Wheeler.

"Since most media organizations have stubbornly refused to train or to require their personnel to translate Bubbabonics into standard English in their reporting, we need to educate as wide an audience as possible so that they can perform their own translations. Otherwise, it may be years before people begin to understand the pronouncements coming out of Washington," said Wheeler.

For more information:

http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/1333

Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998 -- Permission is granted for personal and broadcast use with appropriate credit.

A Native Speaker of Bubbabonics

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